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Thursday, September 09, 2004

Cheating men and the women's vote

I've been thinking alot about one thing that Steve Gilliard wrote in the post I linked to below.

THIS is why Kitty Kelley is so dangerous to Bush. These women think that Bush is a paragon of peraonal virtue. When their mutual coke sniffing and his cocksucking comes to light, some will write it off as bullshit, but for a lot, it will absolutely kill their belief in Bush.

It's sort of a strange thing to think, I thought at first, especially with the homosexual thing, which women are supposedly more tolerant of than men. But Steve's point, of course, was that women are likelier to see the cheating on Laura in a worse light than men are. Again, I was sort of hesistant to see why, but I reread the comments from young Republican women in the article he quotes.

"I've seen how some previous presidents have treated women, and that did not appeal to me as a woman who is proud of being a woman," said Jennifer Knutson, an unaffected 26-year-old delegate from South Dakota wearing a slightly rumpled button-down shirt and a simple skirt. "The relationship George Bush has with his wife is clearly a loving and friendly relationship. And he shows respect to other people."

This is a slap at Bill Clinton, of course. The Republicans have put a lot of effort into appealing to women voters' fears that "women's liberation" just means that they will be repeatedly abandoned by men. To someone who knows history, this is pretty silly--men are probably more responsible and more attentive to their families now that women have some independence they can use as leverage. But if you actually believe that men in the past were more loyal because women were more submissive, I can see how that argument would have appeal.

"Laura Bush is such an amazing, classy woman," said 19-year-old Brittany Lathan, whose parents were both Alabama delegates and who said she was attending her fifth convention. A sorority medal dangling around her neck, she was scarcely less effusive about the president. "I met George Bush last year, and he is a gentlemanly, wonderful person."

People are incredibly reluctant to criticize women who take on a "traditional", submissive, wifely role. Conservatives want to romanticize that role, of course. But liberals and feminists also refrain because it's really just a way to blame the victim. The result is that someone like Laura Bush therefore becomes above criticism while the gleefully misogynistic attacks on Democratic political wives continue unabated, giving the impression that conservative women really are "better". This is nonsense. Teresa Heinz Kerry is a classy woman. So is Hillary Clinton.

Take these two separate points together and you have the primary model for modern marriage. The compromise is this: Women take on men's names and put husband and children in front of themselves. In exchange, men give their sexual fidelity and society agrees to treat the "good" women as above criticism, even as it reminds them (gently) that they are below full participation in public life. It's a house of cards, of course. That is one of the reasons that there was so much frustration and anger that poured out over Clinton's infidelity, even in more liberal circles--Hillary had done her duty to give her life over to him and he embarrassed her.

The conservatives were somewhat capable of spinning that whole incident to their advantage, to some female voters at least. They blamed liberalism and offered up reformed bad boy George Bush to female voters, and to say that some didn't buy it is to lie to yourself. In talking with some women over why they want to vote for George Bush, it's hard to escape noticing that they are almost voting for their hope that this model of marriage is going to work out. Many people want to believe it wasn't the marriage model that was the problem, it was that Hillary and Bill didn't stick to gender roles enough. If she were more submissive, he would have been more loyal....

It's all a lie. You can't trade submission for loyalty. Why should top dogs treat their inferiors with respect? Sure, a handful will have the proper amounts of noblesse oblige, but mostly you're playing a losing game that way. But people aren't even close to ready to lose their marriage ideals. So, if these rumors take hold, they will simply turn their backs on two more individuals who have failed the institution.

82 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hmm. Yeah, I've noticed this.

This is why I don't think Laura Bush ought to be above criticism. We should criticize every political statement she makes (though I do think we should keep ourselves above the Republicans' level and not make personal insults). We should ask why someone like her should be talking about issues when she clearly doesn't know what she's talking about. We should say, loudly, that she doesn't represent all women.

Any talk like this will be labeled as feminist hatred for women who take on traditional roles, as we're supposed to be so PC about the choice to be a housewifely type, but I think we should just keep talking over such criticisms.

-Linnet

9/09/2004

 
Blogger BlondeSense Liz said...

What's this about George being a homo? I knew it, I knew it, I knew it, I knew it, I knew it. Homophobes have always had homosexual experiences or homoerotic fantasies. Damn. I knew it.

Stepford women are always considered classy. My mom taught me to behave that way in public too. She behaved that way in public, yet she and I both delivered our very unstepfordlike opinions most politely wearing a demure smile and lily white gloves.

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Blogger Amanda said...

Those are the rumors--that Kitty Kelley has some homo-gossip. What I find particularly hard to believe is that some of the rumors claim his same-sex relations went on after marrying Laura, which I have trouble believing. Shenanigans in college is one thing and common enough with frat boy types like him. But if they keep doing after they marry women....

9/10/2004

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Somehow, I can't really imagine that George Bush is the type to care much about marital fidelity to his wife. That isn't to say he DOES cheat, but I'm saying that if he wanted to cheat, he wouldn't be stopped by his moral compunctions.

I think Bush has a very deep sense of entitlement that things ought to go his way, and if he screws up, he shouldn't have to take responsibility for it. He wouldn't admit to himself that he was cheating: it'd be someone else's problem. That's just the sense I get about Bush's marital fidelity, judging from the rest of his personality.

None of this is to say he DOES cheat (I feel morally entitled to drink cough syrup, but I'd really rather not.). I'm just saying that if he wanted to, he'd feel entitled to.

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Blogger Amanda said...

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2/01/2006

 
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2/04/2006

 
Anonymous Michelle said...


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Multilingual : English - Chinese Simplified - Chinese Traditional - Dutch - French - German - Greek - Italian - Japanese - Korean - Portuguese - Russian - Spanish

Start Over : When couples first get together, everything is new and exciting.

Lighten Up : Often when couples have gone through or are going through some bumpy spots in their relationship, things tend to get serious.

Night of Passion : Intimacy and passion in relationships is not only important but also healthy.

Cuddle Time : When couples first start dating, cuddling is usually a part of their everyday existence.

Make the Women Feel Good : Just like men, woman love feeling good about themselves.

Showing Love : Although hearing the words, I love you is special and important.

Realistic Expectations : No matter how wonderful and flawless your mate seems, no one is perfect.

Go on a Date : Especially for married couples, but even for some dating couples, start dating.

Control Your Anger : Every relationship has difficulties, and sometimes, there can be some intense arguments.

I Forgive You : If something has happened in your relationship causing the trust to waiver, you will have many things to work through.

Day at the Movies : Have a movie marathon some rainy or cold Saturday.

Dinner by the Fire : Order in some of your favorite food, open a bottle of fine wine, light some candles.

A Day at the Spa : Show your appreciation for the hard work that takes.

Keep in Touch : It is important that you keep in touch with each other often.

Motivate Each Other : Find a mutual incentive that will motivate both of you.

Adore your Mate : Appreciate and love them for the person they are.

Make Eye Contact : Think back to the first time you saw your now mate.

Respect Privacy : When two people come together in a relationship, each person has their own set of history.

Be Flexible : There will be times when your mate is right and times when you are right.

Encourage Friendships : Men, unlike women, have a more difficult time in developing close friendships with other men.

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2/05/2006

 
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6/18/2006

 

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