Walmart making a non-offensive DVD player

This rules. Not in the sense of actually being a good thing, but in the sense that in order to want such a thing you must be a first class asshole. God, it's bad enough the way television tears up people's work with everything from censorship to colorization, but now people are going to let a machine decide what is offensive to them, using the same boring old standard that our bodies and their functions are automatically offensive. (I know the stories that explain why bodies are bad things, but still it seems like blasphemy to call god's supposed greatest creation "dirty".)
I've been thinking of starting a children's reading group to entertain kids with the god and Jesus-approved Book. Clean and holy Bible stories are clearly what kids need in our sex and violence soaked culture. I think I'll start with a story kids probably need to know in our marriage-preserving enviroment of today: the story of the destruction of Sodom and Gommorah. Nothing more wholesome than an old-fashioned adventure story where our hero fends off a group of men intent on gang-raping angels by offering them his virgin daughters, followed by a coda where said virgin daughters get their dad drunk to have sex with him so that they can conceive. The best part is that it's entertaining and educational. Kids can learn all sorts of new vocabulary words like sodomy, rape, virgin, and incest. Makes me want to go right back to looking at Janet Jackson's boobie.