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Thursday, May 27, 2004

Joint custody, children and women's issues

Trish Wilson has an interesting, must-read post on joint custody and "cooperative" parenting issues.
Those of us who are never-married, childless, or happily married may be unaware of how a significant number of personal feminist battles are being fought out in divorce courts everyday. It used to be that the majority of divorces were initiated by husbands. But nowadays, the majority of divorces are initiated by women, a direct result of feminism. Conservatives wring their hands and moan and cry about this, claiming that feminists are trying to tear the family apart, but that's not the real issue here. While no one likes having a high divorce rate, it's disingenous to pretend that women get sucked in by feminism and decide to abandon husband and children. Most women who choose divorce have done so as a last resort, and now anti-feminist groups are lashing out by making it even harder for women to make effective child-rearing choices.
My parents, who were naturally unhappy about divorcing, still had their minds about them to make decisions with their children's best interests in mind. And they knew that the best interests of their children were served by having a quick, non-contentious divorce. And to opt out of joint custody in favor of frequent visits with my dad. Joint custody is just too hard on children, who need stability, which you can't provide shuffling them back and forth between two houses.
Trish makes some really good points about how these "father's rights" groups think that they are winning somehow because they have made their ex-wives' lives harder, which seems to be their major goal. But by doing so, they have just racked up their own trouble and own legal bills. I guess what you dish out does come back on you.

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