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Monday, August 30, 2004

After thinking about it, I've decided not to drop it

I decided not to lay off the whole women blogging thing that has come out of the post at Matt Stoller's blog. I might have blown it off, but he was condescending to a blogger I think is one of the few who is truly innovative and interesting, Trish Wilson, who is out there fighting it out over women's rights in a place that many feminists don't address properly--the area of divorce and child custody. But more than that, I have a serious problem with what he said.

You know, I do a lot of work on this issue because it's something I care about. I dislike the accusation that I'm 'just noticing' because I'm a guy. More to the point, feminism doesn't belong to women, and until you realize that we're in this together, the more marginalized you will continue to be.

It's startling to see a man who considers himself a feminist miss the mark so completely. I read that shortly after I defended Ampersand over at his blog, where I innocently believed that feminist men understand the issues at hand. Stoller pulls rank on Trish here and worse he does it while thinking he's an egalitarian sort. She should be grateful that a man is here to deal with feminism. What does she think, that feminism belongs to women? One would almost think that women's rights is an issue women worry about; we need to be quiet and let men figure out what they intend to let us have.

This is a brutally obvious example of a man whose mouth is writing checks his ass won't cash. Feminism isn't just an intellectual exercise, it's a reality that men need to confront and now. It's one thing to say that women are as smart as men; it's another entirely to act like you believe it. If you are a blogger and you believe it, you act on that belief. You link to women, you promote feminism, you *gasp* concede that a woman occasionally thinks of something first. You quit thinking that "women's issues" are secondary things. Nothing that affects more than half the population is a minor issue.

Seriously, any honest progressive knows that the two most major issues are racism and sexism. I'm not saying that the world would be perfect if we could magically leave racism and sexism behind. But I will say this--it would be a great deal harder to justify things like war without racism and sexism to bolster arguments. I'm not good on racism for sure, but I try to be humble on that particular subject and let people who know more tell me what they know. Men who wish to embrace feminism should be open themselves.

Carl Sagan made one of the most eloquent pro-feminist arguments I've ever heard coming from a man. As a scientist, he was inclined to look at the facts. And the facts were that societies that made female empowerment a priority did better than those that didn't. The correlation is so startling that it should give anyone pause--it seems like the surefire way to improve the overall standard of living is to focus specifically on improving the lives of women. It makes sense--empower those who have quietly sat on the sidelines of history, paying the price for mistakes they have no control over and you might see some of those mistakes disappear.

Men who blog and want to be feminist have one major obligation--read female bloggers and link to them. My blogroll is 50% female, so why can't they do that? The sad thing is that conservatives get this--the Republicans put forward women whenever they can to grab some diversity guilt. Why can't those of us who actually believe that women have something to contribute actually work to make that belief a reality for others?

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Blogger The News Writer said...

Y'know, it kinda reminds me in an odd sort of way about my years of work at a gay/lesbian newspaper. The paper was launched by a lesbian who quite honestly wanted a departure from the gay papers run by the men in the community, which were largely funded by enormous numbers of graphic personal ads for men and strange ads for regular businesses featuring large photographs of muscular, shirtless guys while largely ignoring anything that happened in the lesbian community.

For her trouble -- actually running a (pardon my use of the phrase) "fair and balanced" paper that actually included the entire lesbian and gay community and their interactions with the community at large and was funded by ads for, say, car dealers that used pictures of cars -- for her trouble the paper was called, in the "old boy network" of the gay press, the "Lesbian Home Journal" and other more derisive labels.

For 10 years, that paper was a shining light -- then the editor decided to retire, sold it two a couple of men she thought shared her vision. Now? I've heard that alcoholism is a progressive disease, that should you return to an alcoholic lifestyle after a time without it, you're in much worse condition than you were when you stopped.

I'd have to say sexism is the same kind of disease.

8/31/2004

 
Blogger Trish said...

I shouldn't be surprised or hurt about the reaction I'm getting over there, but I am. The dismissive, patronizing tone directed towards me and the flames that are starting are uncalled for. I remember the attitude during the last women blogger firestorm - since they won't "behave" we won't link to them or read them. Sandbox politics. It seems the two points Matt made that offended me the most have offended other women as well - the "uteruses" comment and the "feminism doesn't belong to women" comment. If you openly and directly disagree, you get raked over the coals. If you play "nice," you're given a cookie and a pat on the head and told you're a good girl if you're told anything at all. Why do so many progressive and feminist guys expect a pat on the back for noticing women and noticing sexism? What, are women supposed to be grateful and shut up?

8/31/2004

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This raises an interesting point about what role men have in feminism. Is feminism about "women's rights" or is it about "gender equity"--liberating men as well as women from confining roles (although of course more "liberating" would go on for the women as we have more to be liberated from)? And can a man speak for feminists? Is it better to have an articulate, well-known male blogger like Ampersand--who'll draw a larger audience and expose more people to his feminist views because of his popularity--than a female blogger who may know less about the wage gap and may draw a smaller audience?

-Linnet

8/31/2004

 
Blogger The News Writer said...

Both are important, I think ... but overall I'd have to say that in the long run (at least until we really do achieve some sort of equality) men need to learn to play a subordinate role themselves. Men can be feminists, and they can play a role in the ongoing fight, but they cannot pretend to "know more" or "be more" or "understand more."

I haven't been over at the site where the flaming is going on ... I'll check it out.

8/31/2004

 
Blogger Astarte said...

I've read through everyone's comments over there, and I have to say bravo, girls! Not only did we show Matt that we can be just as agressive as men can, but that we're no dummies. The conversation might even continue if he had a working comments system.

Trish, don't feel upset. Matt is stuck with the 'A-List Blogger' syndrome that makes him seem to think that everyone should agree with him because he's so great. Frankly I'm sick of these people on basic principle, and it's about time one of them got put in their place.

Women aren't agressive? Good fucking grief.

8/31/2004

 
Blogger Amanda said...

It's not "aggression" when women do it, apparently. It's "misbehaving". Jesus, next we'll be hearing that we're "disobedient", for fuck's sake.

8/31/2004

 
Blogger The News Writer said...

Oy, and where did those "other" women come from? I'd forgotten they still existed!

8/31/2004

 
Blogger Roxanne said...

The boyz got "link envy."

The whole thing is making my head hurt.

8/31/2004

 
Blogger Astarte said...

They're Matt's private cheerleading squad, apparently. I originally linked tsuredzuregusa, because I thought she had some good things to say on her blog, but after reading what she wrote and then going back to look at her blog, every other post is about what Matt had to say about this or that.

I don't even know who this guy is, but apparently he's important enough to go to the RNC and be in 'the tank'. Why do I feel nauseous?

And yeah, I agree, Amanda. When men act that way it's perfectly okay. When women act that way, we're man-hating fiends, which is essentially what he called Trish.

8/31/2004

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I would hesitate to say that men must always play a secondary role in feminism, but in this particular case, Matt Stoller was ridiculously defensive (not to mention patronizing and dismissive) in response to a perfectly polite and well-written post. And those women who jumped out saying "Oh my god if feminist are like this then it's no wonder men don't 'give' us equal rights!!!!" really grated on my nerves.

-Linnet

8/31/2004

 
Blogger Hugo said...

I'll have a more serious post on this soon. (As a man who teaches women's history at the college level, I need to throw my two cents in). But Amanda, I took your challenge, and counted up my blogs on my blogroll (without making any alterations). Result:

3 blogs of mixed-sex groups
24 male blogs
27 female blogs, including all-female blogs like XX

I'm as fair and balanced as Fox News! Oh, wait.

8/31/2004

 
Blogger Amanda said...

Maybe women do win rights by sucking up to men. I must have missed the day in class where it was explained that women finally got the vote when they quit marching in the streets and got back to fluttering their eyelashes.

8/31/2004

 
Blogger Amanda said...

Thanks for taking the time, Hugo. I work at a university, too, so I've gotten to learn a lot about how just maintaining a commitment to keeping things equitable can make a huge difference. There's no substitute for equal representation. Only one in five of our students is female, and everyone loses in that situation.

8/31/2004

 
Blogger Elayne said...

I don't know if I'm going to bother reading the whole post and thread. His premise ("I don't know why there aren't many female political bloggers") is faulty to begin with, there are PLENTY of female political bloggers (just because they don't see us doesn't mean we don't exist), so why bother?

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