This article is just mean

It seems to be aimed directly at comic book fans who have trouble getting dates and suggests that by imitating their favorite heroes they too can get laid, unlike their heroes who keep losing their loves to their duty to save the world. But my worry here is not to save comic book fans, who are mostly not the big dateless losers like the stereotype, but to address the misleading sexist stereotypes that do way more damage to romance than any comic book obsession ever has.

Superman
Simply put, Superman is a super man. He has tons of neat-o powers we can only dream of, but there’re plenty of ways to prove to your girlfriend you’re pretty super yourself. Be nice to her family. Be a gentleman. Turn off the friggin’ Cubs game and take her to dinner. Better yet, turn off the friggin’ Cubs game and make her dinner. (One piece of advice: Don’t cook in a Superman-esque blue, skin-tight jumpsuit.)

Hint to men who want an awards ceremony for doing the things that women do every single day without mention and in fact can expect some unpleasantness if they don't do these things--it's not heroic to pick up simple tasks or to show normal amounts of affection. In fact, the best way to make life at home smooth is to perform these tasks without expecting to be treated like Superman because you make dinner once in awhile. And they are wrong about the blue, skintight jumpsuit. That is exactly the out-of-the-ordinary behavior that will cause real delight with a woman with the sense of humor for it.

Batman
There’s much to learn from the Batmans (Batmen?) of film and television, if only because there’ve been so dang many of ’em. There’s Adam West’s cockeyed, self-effacing sense of humor. There’s Michael Keaton’s innate sense of goodness. There’s George Clooney’s stoic strength. And there’s Val Kilmer’s ability to show up on time. (Hey, quit laughing. Chicks dig punctuality.)

This is mostly unusable advice, but the potshot about punctuality is really low. Chicks are not being hysterical and silly when they expect to be picked up on time. That's just normal, human behavior. You should not act like you are indulging a petulant brat when a woman asks to be treated like you would treat anyone else you respect. (That does go both ways. Everyone is irritable at anyone, male or female, who makes them wait.)

Spider-Man
What’s the first thing that comes to your mind when you think “Spider-Man?” Probably the famous theme song from the infamous cartoon (“Spider-Man, Spider-Man, does whatever a spider can.” Yeesh.) What’s the second thing? Spidey Sense. And if you want to be a good boyfriend, you’ll listen to your own personal Spidey Sense. Sense if she needs affection, or if she needs space, or if she needs cookies. The more sensitive you are, the more she’ll get tangled up in your web o’ luv.

Or you could ask. The secret to that super power is to listen to the answer after the question is asked.

The Hulk
“Don’t make me angry. You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry.” When Bruce Banner uttered that phrase, you knew you were in for some greenery. Do you want your girlfriend to turn green? No sir. One good way to keep her anger at bay is to follow through on your word. A good example: if you tell her you’re going to call her on Thursday, then call her on Thursday. Bill Bixby would be proud.

Okay, it's not bad advice to tell someone that he should do what he says, though once again it's pathetic that something basic like keeping a promise to someone is considered a huge favor if it's done for a woman. But notice that before this, the superheros were compared to men. But bring up temper and it's women, since we all know that women are the ones with hysterical, out-of-control tempers.

Good advice would be to keep your temper in check no matter who you are.

Wonder Woman
You probably don’t want to emulate Wonder Woman too closely, if only because most of you won’t look good in red boots. But W.W. has one accoutrement that’ll tighten any relationship — the Golden Lasso of Truth. Of course, you’re already perfectly honest with your better half, so the Lasso is unnecessary. Right?

It seems to me that if one superhero has to be compared to the woman the advice-receiver wishes to date, it would be the first big female superhero, but whatever. Maybe it would be easier for the presumed audience to get along with women if they didn't have to be protected from relating to female characters like they do male characters. Just a thought.

Daredevil
Daredevil is the JFK of superheroes — all things to all people, just a general swell, if not slightly violent, guy. Certainly you won’t be able to duplicate Daredevil’s physical feats, but it’s easy enough to be a polite, kind, and caring fella. In the D.D. flick, Matt Murdock (a.k.a. Ben Affleck) ended up smooching Jennifer Gardner. If politeness, kindness, and caring gets you near Jennifer Gardner’s lips, well, need we say more?

It's doing men no favors to tell them that they will be able to date way out of their league for simply acting like decent human beings. All women deserve to be treated decently, no matter what they look like.