Mouse rant blog vent mouse.

Friday, June 25, 2004

Cursing primer

Via Atrios, we learn that Cheney is doomed to hell for telling Pat Lehey to go fuck himself. We at Mousewords agree that the frequent use of curse words is why this country is going to hell. We also agree with our Commander-in-Chief, that it doesn't count if you curse in Spanish, since good Christians don't speak Spanish and don't know what you're saying and therefore don't have the sin of having heard curse words on their soul. They are still trying to wipe the sin of seeing Janet Jackson's nipple off their soul, so it's really unfair to burden them further.
So, as a public service, Mousewords is offering a primer on Spanish substitutes for common dirty words so that you may express your uglier side without dooming the country to hell by tarnishing God's own language, English. Bear with me if my spelling or exact definitions are off. My Spanish is no better than the President's English, so I'm bound to make mistakes.

Substitute Curse Words for Republicans and Other God-fearing Politicians

1) pinche(adj): This word is an adjective, perfect for disparaging someone or something. Can be used to replace "damn" or "fucking".
Ex. This pinche car has broken down again!

2) pendejo(noun): Insulting name. It's a way of calling someone trash, but for our purposes, it's a perfect subsitute for "asshole".
Ex. That pendejo I have for a neighbor is parking his car in front of my house.

3) huevos(noun): According to the President, it means "courage". Literally, it means "eggs". It's best translated as the equivalent of "balls".
Ex. It took alot of huevos to just go up and kick that biker dude in the huevos like that.

4) puta(noun): Most people would describe it as meaning "slut", but they are just being abashed. It really means "whore".
This is a word that conservative pundits need to embrace, as it is perfect for one of the 10 Standard Conservative Editorials, specifically #4: Girls These Days Like Sex And This Is Wrong. The major problem with these editorials, besides the general philosophy, is that the word "skank" is inexplicably favored as the best word to tarnish a woman's reputation, I guess because it's somehow less of a curse word that "slut".
It's a horrible word that rattles the ears, though. I suppose it's the harshest word they could come up with that's not an actual naughty word, until now. I propose "puta" as a replacement.
Ex. Don't look now, but that puta is hitting on your man again.
*This word is also good for another common phrase, "hijo de puta"--the equivalent of "son of a bitch".

Hopefully, these 4 or 5 words will go far in cleaning up the language you hear around D.C. and we can, as a nation, get closer to God. I would include more Spanish curse words on my list, but when I asked a Spanish-speaking friend to help me, he was inexplicably offended at my theory that Spanish words don't count.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

thank you for telling me how to say
slut and fucking.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

go fuck a cow.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

If you're not Latino, don't bother using these words stick to your language. If you're gonna cuss then do it. That's ridiculous.... now there will be people in Kentucky saying "Pinche puta come back here!". Whether or not you're cussing in English or Spanish, you are still doing it. And English is NOT God's language. It's a proven fact to be one of the ugliest and most boring languages.


Anonymous pigtails said...

Some people have no sense of humor. Tell them to besa mi cula (Kiss my ass).


Anonymous mold test said...

Warning...Warning.. Safety Tip of the WEEK...If you are having problems with colds and sickness in your home and you live in a moist wet ares of the country. Then you might want a mold test .. If you see black dust looking stuff on your walls or around your bathtub,shower or sink then you probaly have a mold problem and need to get a mold test . Dont panic and think you need to get a mold test right away. You can use bleach to clean it up with some paper tools and then dispose of the towels a trash bag. If you need some more info visit .. I hope you have a safe and sickness free home...


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I just came across this while researching on yahoo...
with a B

I agree with the other poster - if you're not latino, don't bother

Point 2 - why even bother trying to mix it up?


Anonymous Anonymous said...

To whomever said this...

"I just came across this while researching on yahoo...
with a B"

It starts with a P and is Pendejo! Know the facts if you are going to take the time to leave a comment!


Anonymous Anonymous said...

hhgi my name iz mickeal yap im goin out wit ceasar i am gay


Anonymous Anonymous said... Excellent site. It was pleasant to me. belong nuestra taqi epistimic charlbury distaste objetivos bibby


Blogger oakleyses said...

michael kors outlet, oakley vault, ray ban outlet, kate spade handbags, ray ban sunglasses, christian louboutin shoes, michael kors outlet online, michael kors outlet online, prada handbags, longchamp handbags, tiffany jewelry, louis vuitton outlet online, coach outlet, christian louboutin, polo ralph lauren outlet, nike air max, burberry outlet online, jordan shoes, louis vuitton outlet, louis vuitton handbags, tiffany and co jewelry, red bottom shoes, gucci handbags, michael kors outlet online, true religion outlet, michael kors outlet online, nike shoes, kate spade outlet online, longchamp outlet online, prada outlet, coach outlet, louis vuitton outlet, coach purses, longchamp outlet, true religion, louis vuitton, cheap oakley sunglasses, tory burch outlet, chanel handbags, coach outlet store online, polo ralph lauren, burberry outlet online, nike free, christian louboutin outlet, oakley sunglasses, nike air max, michael kors outlet store


Blogger oakleyses said...

nike roshe, hollister, nike air force, sac michael kors, true religion outlet, barbour, north face, nike free pas cher, vans pas cher, guess pas cher, hermes pas cher, nike air max, abercrombie and fitch, air jordan, ray ban uk, burberry pas cher, tn pas cher, michael kors uk, lululemon, longchamp, louis vuitton pas cher, north face pas cher, air max pas cher, chaussure louboutin, timberland, scarpe hogan, ralph lauren pas cher, nike free, air max, sac louis vuitton, mulberry, louis vuitton uk, oakley pas cher, nike air max, true religion jeans, sac vanessa bruno, nike blazer pas cher, new balance pas cher, hollister, converse pas cher, ralph lauren, ray ban pas cher, michael kors canada, lacoste pas cher, louis vuitton, nike roshe run, longchamp pas cher


Blogger oakleyses said...

uggs outlet, uggs on sale, beats headphones, lululemon outlet, vans outlet, nfl jerseys, soccer jerseys, nike trainers, wedding dresses, jimmy choo shoes, ferragamo shoes, mac cosmetics, chi flat iron, rolex watches, longchamp, new balance outlet, abercrombie and fitch, p90x workout, bottega veneta, reebok shoes, canada goose outlet, ghd, roshe run, mcm handbags, soccer shoes, instyler ionic styler, valentino shoes, canada goose outlet, ugg outlet, north face outlet, celine handbags, north face jackets, ugg soldes, herve leger, giuseppe zanotti, mont blanc pens, nike huarache, ugg, asics shoes, insanity workout, canada goose outlet, hollister, canada goose, marc jacobs outlet, ugg boots, birkin bag, babyliss pro


Blogger oakleyses said...

swarovski jewelry, converse shoes, ugg, canada goose pas cher, hollister, oakley, canada goose, juicy couture outlet, pandora uk, hollister canada, converse, moncler, louboutin, replica watches, timberland shoes, pandora charms, pandora jewelry, iphone 6 case, ray ban, swarovski uk, uggs canada, moncler, gucci, moncler, vans, montre femme, juicy couture outlet, moncler, ralph lauren, coach outlet, moncler, moncler, moncler outlet, links of london uk, thomas sabo uk, louis vuitton canada, supra shoes, baseball bats, wedding dress, hollister clothing, karen millen, canada goose uk, toms outlet, parajumpers outlet, air max, lancel, canada goose, nike air max



Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home