Mouse rant blog vent mouse.

Wednesday, July 07, 2004

Bush thinks we're a bunch of slack-jawed yokels and we like it

Via The Talent Show, we find out that BushCo has its anti-Edwards page up already. Amongst other really retarded attacks(like how Edwards, who made his own money, can't be populist because he's rich, which really does make one wonder what Bush's claim to populism is), we get to find out that Edwards isn't a real Southerner. What? Was he, like Bush, not actually born in the South? No, it's because he's not scrupulous about fitting the stereotype enough.

Edwards Has “Never Done Any Serious Farming.”

Edwards Doesn’t Follow Weekly NASCAR Races, Adds He “Doesn’t Follow Anything Except Politicking.”

Edwards Hasn’t Hunted Or Fished “In Years.”

Edwards Has “In The Past Been A Country Music Fan.” (Tim Funk, “Q&A With John Edwards,” The Charlotte Observer, 5/26/03)

Edwards Can’t Even Remember Make Or Model Of His Own Truck.


Jeez, what next? Are they going to start administering IQ tests, and if you score too high, you lose your status as an honest-to-god Southerner?
This campaign tactic of BushCo's grates on my nerves more everyday. Vote for me! I can list off a bunch of stereotypical white Southern traits better than your opponent! I may be a rich boy from Midland, but I know that the rednecks from Odessa who work on my rich friends' oil rigs like to watch NASCAR! My opponent doesn't like to pretend that he watches NASCAR!
Look, you smirking frat boy asshole, just because I don't like this new country music from fucking Canada that plays on cookie cutter radio stations that bought out our locally run ones doesn't mean I'm not a Southerner. I hate fishing and hunting pisses me off. NASCAR is for people who wouldn't know a good car race if it bit them in the ass. I do remember the make and model of my pickup truck, but it's a Nissan so I guess that probably doesn't pass the stereotypical Southerner test. And what the hell is this farming thing? Rural America isn't all farmers, you pinhead! For instance, there's the roughnecks that worked the oil rigs that made the money for your Cadillac-driving friends (how's that for a stereotype?) that put your worthless ass in office. I'm from a small town of 6,000 people in the middle of absolutely nowhere, so don't tell me what makes someone pass a "rural IQ" test.
What irritates me is that so many of my fellow Middle Americans are eating up this pandering, condescending treatment from these smirking fucks. Odessa has never liked Midland, since Odessa is where the roughnecks who actually work live and Midland is where the rich bosses live with their snooty wives who are dripping in jewelry and like to think they really deserve to live in Dallas. And of course, Midland looks down on Odessa. And when I see this farming/NASCAR/country/hunting/fishing/pickup truck crap, I see the typical Midland stereotype of poor Odessa, and I can almost hear the mocking laughter. And yet, somehow, Midland has managed to get Odessa to vote for them.
I don't doubt that George Bush thinks that he is "one of the people" because he has allowed them to touch his robes on their way to the oil fields. But I just don't know why it is that so many of "the people" are agreeing with him.

7 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

That was one of your best pieces yet.

I'm hoping more people are going to smell the bullshit-desperation wafting off the Edwards attacks.

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