If it makes you feel better, go ahead and believe it

This story was being trumpeted by the ever-lonely Matt Drudge--Republicans claim to be more satisfied with their sex lives. This extremely scientific poll didn't control for factors like age or sex, but hey, that doesn't mean that it's bad, does it?

Among the factors that impact the survey results is that more men identify themselves as Republicans and men are more likely to say they are sexually satisfied and enjoy sex "a great deal." Also, Democrats are more likely to be women; and the poll results show that women are more likely to fake orgasms.

Oops, well maybe sex differences is an issue. I'd like to see married Democratic women compared to married Republican women and watch the numbers reverse dramatically. After all, it's easier to be satisfied with your sex life if your husband is not calling his coworkers from hotel rooms to masturbate himself with a vibrator I would think. I might also point out that Republicans as a whole tend to be older and more likely to be in a steady relationship therefore, but nah, it's got to be the party membership, right?

But even though this entire survey is ridiculous, I think it's best that Republicans be allowed to believe it. Think about it--how much anti-woman, anti-reproductive rights, anti-gay legislation is introduced by grim-faced middle-aged Republicans who are punishing the rest of us for all the wild sex they think we're having? If they were led to believe that the rest of us actually do more knitting than fucking, maybe they'll leave us alone.