Smiles, entitlements and screwing it up for everyone else

Sheezlebub kicks some major ass in the discussion of how entitled men who tell strange women to smile must feel. As, of course, I would expect that she would. The discussion extends past just the "smile" command and into other examples of experiences women had of having others treat them as if they don't deserve to set their own boundaries--touching pregnant women, not taking "no" for an answer on dates, street harassment, you name it.

The not taking "no" for an answer thing really struck me, because it's always saddened me that there are men who really, truly think that women are completely passive in dating and will become completely unbent if you reject them for your own reasons. And while I'm sure the majority of guys, especially my age, are able to take no for an answer and not humiliate themselves by demanding "acceptable" reasons for their rejections, this is a common enough problem that most women I know have a litany of dodges they've used to reject men who just couldn't take no for an answer. I have gone so far as to lie and say I have a boyfriend when I don't, because while these guys won't accept that I have a right to say who I want to go out with, they will accept that a man might be in charge of me. Or given a fake name and phone number if I'm in a particularly evil mood and someone won't leave me alone.

I am reminded of a joke my ex made after I complained about getting harassed on the street on a summer day--something along the lines of guys who yell at girls make girls self-conscious and afraid to wear skimpy clothes on hot days, and they ruin it for guys who like to look at the girls without being asses about it. Taking off from that, I would like to point out to men--guys who harangue girls for dates are the enemy. They make women defensive about being hit on altogether and much less likely to be open to polite inquiries. I would suggest treating them as such.