Mouse rant blog vent mouse.

Friday, October 29, 2004

Wonderful

Your body is a wrapped lollipop.

When you have sex with a man, he unwraps your lollipop and sucks on it.

It may feel great at the time, but, unfortunately, when he’s done with you, all you have left for your next partner is a poorly wrapped, saliva-fouled sucker.

These words were actually uttered by Darren Washington, an abstinence educator, at the Eighth Annual Abstinence Clearinghouse Conference, an informational three-day trade show for abstinence educators, anti-abortion pregnancy care centers and medical professionals.

Washington was giving examples of how to teach abstinence. He then called up volunteers from the audience and used an actual lollipop to help deliver the metaphor.

After which he went home and beat off while thinking of virginal teenagers sucking lollipops.

This is from a new new Ms Magazine article about abstinence-only education. Unfortunately, Mr. Washington doesn't explain how his metaphor extends to other hymen-destroying activities that can happen before sex, like athletic activity, bike-riding, tampon use or simply aging. I guess it's like dropping the lollipop on the ground without sucking on it or unwrapping it. Sure, it's ruined but maybe a not-so-picky kid will eat it.

Read the whole thing and then take an aspirin.

Via Ms Musings.

131 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

*snicker*

Do you remember that "your vagina is a secret garden" crap from some Catholic website?

If pro-abstinence educators want kids to fuck like bunnies, they're sure as hell doing the right thing. If anyone had told me about secret gardens and sucked lollipops when I was 15, I would have dragged the first guy I could get my hands on off to my bedroom.

-Linnet

10/29/2004

 
Blogger mythago said...

So by his logic, once you've had sex, no man will ever want to have sex with you again, just as nobody would put a fouled lollipop in their mouths.

You really have to wonder what crack these people are on.

10/29/2004

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Funny, I looked the same 10 minutes after I lost my virginity as I had 10 minutes before. Maybe I didn't do it right. Heh.

10/29/2004

 
Blogger Amanda said...

Well, I *was* covered with a sticky, sugary goo but that washes off in the shower.

10/29/2004

 
Blogger Barbara Preuninger said...

Hm. So when are they going to start telling guys "when you get a blow job from a woman, she unwraps your lollipop and sucks on it. It may feel great at the time, but, unfortunately, when she's done with you, all you have left for your next partner is a poorly wrapped, saliva-fouled sucker."

That metaphor just makes so much more sense!

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