Wonderful

Your body is a wrapped lollipop.

When you have sex with a man, he unwraps your lollipop and sucks on it.

It may feel great at the time, but, unfortunately, when he’s done with you, all you have left for your next partner is a poorly wrapped, saliva-fouled sucker.

These words were actually uttered by Darren Washington, an abstinence educator, at the Eighth Annual Abstinence Clearinghouse Conference, an informational three-day trade show for abstinence educators, anti-abortion pregnancy care centers and medical professionals.

Washington was giving examples of how to teach abstinence. He then called up volunteers from the audience and used an actual lollipop to help deliver the metaphor.

After which he went home and beat off while thinking of virginal teenagers sucking lollipops.

This is from a new new Ms Magazine article about abstinence-only education. Unfortunately, Mr. Washington doesn't explain how his metaphor extends to other hymen-destroying activities that can happen before sex, like athletic activity, bike-riding, tampon use or simply aging. I guess it's like dropping the lollipop on the ground without sucking on it or unwrapping it. Sure, it's ruined but maybe a not-so-picky kid will eat it.

Read the whole thing and then take an aspirin.

Via Ms Musings.