Thursday, January 20, 2005

Hate to say I told you so

Nah, I love it. As I figured, the ad for Plan B in Tuesday's Daily Texan would generate at least one outraged letter from a male conservo-virgin. He didn't go so far as accuse the Texan of trying to screw his chances at marriage, but he does come very, very close.

I expect to find advertisements in the paper; even more than usual considering the budget cuts. But the flyer found inside my Texan as I opened it flabbergasted me: a flyer that advertised not just a day-after pill, but a THREE day-after pill!

Who knew that the sperm could slosh around in there for three days? You ruined this young man's masturbation fantasies for at least a week, oral contraceptive manufacturers.

Putting aside my Catholic upbringing and my hokey religious beliefs that my secular generation ignores, what does this publication tell the students?

If I remember correctly, it said that if your condom breaks, you can use this pill for back-up. But apparently, I misread the words, "I used a condom, but it broke."

That if, in the "heat of the moment," you forget to practice safe sex, it's OK because you have a "second chance?"

His idea of what people do in bed is vastly different from mine. I can see it now--a nubile co-ed in the arms of a hunky frat boy on a Friday night.

"Oh honey, let's forget the condom tonight. On Monday, I can go just wait in line for 3 hours at Planned Parenthood to get a prescription for Plan B, drive over to Walgreen's and get it filled and then significantly reduce my chances of getting pregnant, even though I still may." Mmmm....sexy.

Or, if you and your partner have the forethought to be cautious but it fails, there is still a way out?

How else do you get sexy co-eds to marry you?! The Daily Texan is cruel, I tell you, cruel!

The allure of unprotected sex has increased because now a lady can wait three whole days before she takes her "second chance."

You only have one chance to escape! (Someone please tell him that it's just as likely, if not more, than the end result is a child support payment and not a wedding band.)

A woman can be careless, take her time for two days, take care of her important tasks and then receive her "second chance" at her convenience.

If you're going to weasel out of a lifetime of regret, you should at least feel sorry about it, selfish bitches. That and quit rolling your eyes when you turn down my offer to buy you a drink.

It is not appropriate for the largest written media on a college campus (where STDs run rampant) to align itself with something that causes the rise in unprotected sex and thus STDs. Where is the handout publicizing the extremely simple birth control method (abstinence) that also protects against STDs and is 100-percent guaranteed?

God, it's like fish in a barrel. I mean, he might as well write, "If I'm not getting any, no one is getting any!"

I am glad that my parents, as I am sure you are about your parents, chose not to take their "second chance."

They got their second chance when they divorced when I was 9, and no, I don't particularly resent them for it. Sorry.

95 comments:

  1. Anonymous1/20/2005

    I really try to sympathize with pro-lifers in a "respectful disagreement" kinda way. I'm often uncomfortable with feminists who say it's all about controlling women's sexuality and not really about life at all.

    ... but this guy makes that impossible! What's with the "one day after pill, okay, but THREE days? That's outrageous!" If women are going to have sex and their partner's condom breaks, then they have a 24 hour reprieve, but they break the rules if the reprieve is extended to 72 hours?

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  2. Anonymous1/20/2005

    I'm really getting tired of hearing these anti-choice Christian boys lecture women on "morals" and responsibility. These jerkoffs NEVER put any responsibilty on the guys who gladly hop into bed with we "immoral" and "irresponsible" women. These little misogynist anti-choice Christian boys are all about giving a man the right to control a woman's life and body after he deposits his sperm.

    Apparently these little shits really do believe that their sperm has "living human souls" in them. It's very easy to be Christian and male, and anti-choice.

    This is why I personally and firmly believe that men should have no say in a woman's reproduction. Sperm does NOT amount to much once it's deposited. Until one of these anti-choice Christian boys gets impregnated by a woman, I don't want to hear shit from them on abortion issues and contraception issues.

    This is why I personally do believe that if men could get pregnant, abortion and all forms of contraception would be a holy sacrament. Hell, there would be religious holidays for it and abortion clinics would be built right next to churches, synagogues, mosques, shrines, and cathedrals.

    So until one of these misogynist Christian frat-boys get knocked-up by a woman, I don't want to hear jack shit from them about how it's "a woman's Christian duty to carry a pregnancy to full term"--BULLSHIT!!! Let's see how "Christian" these guys would be if there ever was a chance for them to get pregnant. I bet they won't be singing a hymns in praise of Jesus then.

    Like I said, it's ever so easy to be Christian, male, and anti-choice. Well, it's just plain easy to be male and anti-choice period. Anti-choice Christian-males are a bunch of arrogant, selfish fucks. Always worried about their precious sperm, upholding misogynist religious teachings, and controlling uteruses.

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  3. I agree, P-A. I will add that it's amazing to me how's men's beliefs can really waver according to their current relationship. A man who has a real-life girlfriend that he doesn't want children with at this point in time is likely to be pro-choice. One, like this guy probably is, who sees sex as a theoritical concept is likely to be anti-choice. And of course, men who would like more children with their current partner are usually anti-choice.

    Then there are mensches who realize that women's bodies are not up to the vagaries of their will and are pro-choice regardless of their current circumstances. Guys like that are rising in numbers; I'm sure of it.

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  4. Anonymous1/20/2005

    It's especially amusing that he frets over the poor stupid sluts who don't understand that Plan B won't protect them from STDs. Funny, all the sluts around here know damn well what protects them and what doesn't-- but thanks for your concern, twit.

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  5. Anonymous1/21/2005

    I agree, UT Raptor Red! I still resent my viviparous birth. Hatching from an egg is a vigorous act of self-assertion and effort, bringing oneself into the world through one's own agency, whereas being pushed out of your mother by uterine and vaginal muscles just leaves you a passive object acted upon by external forces. I think my viviparous birth scarred me for life and left me feeling permenantly disempowered :^(.

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  6. Julian, you're my new hero. Thanks for the belly laugh.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I've found that it's these anti-choice frat boy asshats who usually balk at using "plan A", namely a male contraception. They turn into big whiners when they're expected to put on a condom.

    During my freshman year in college, one night I overheard my roommate trying to convince her boyfriend to use a condom. (We had one of those split double rooms that afforded minimal privacy.) He got whiney; she was adamant. I never did find out who prevailed, because I stuck my head under my pillow.

    The next night I split a pizza with them -- we hardly ever socialized -- and a news story on the tube turned our conversation to the subject of abortion. He rather peevishly commented that he had a problem with those women who "use abortion as birth control."

    "What women would those be?" I asked. "The ones whose partner won't use a condom?"

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