Mouse rant blog vent mouse.

Tuesday, January 18, 2005

Oh boy there are gonna be letters

In fact, I am so tempted to write one I can barely stand it. The students are back and so is The Daily Texan, meaning the college conservatives are going to start back on their letter-writing campaign about how librul the paper is. It's about to get swamped because they had a pull-out ad today for emergency contraception. The ad has a pretty girl saying with language next to her about how she used a condom, but it broke. Bring on the swarm of Bush-loving, letter-writing virgins! I'm tempted to write something like this:

Dear Liberal Sperm-Haters,

I saw your ad for this man-hating, baby-killing product called Plan B. I am deeply offended at this ad. If I were ever to get a pretty co-ed in bed like that and my super-sperm managed to break through the condom, I don't need your meddling product standing in between me and my chances at a shotgun wedding with that pretty little co-ed.

However, I think that Jesus' General could probably do a much better job. And they might also see through my ruse.

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Could you have used a phrase other than "pull-out ad today for emergency contraception"? My irresponsible brane keeps eliding "ad".

Go on, tell the General about it. You know you want to.

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Blogger Amanda said...

Yeah, but he only sends harrassing emails to the bad guys. The people who want to advertise E.C. are not the bad guys.

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"Dear Liberal Sperm-Haters,"

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How come I can believe some jerk-off male Ultra-Conservative WASP will actually write these words? Perhaps it is because their ideological platform on reproduction *IS* 'every sperm cell is sacred' and 'those evil man-hating feminazi dykes want our womenfolk to destroy our precious seed'. Those Ultra-Conservative fellas really took Monty Pythons 'Every Sperm is Sacred' song to heart. Or was it 'Mighty Pythons'? It's been forever so I can't really remember.

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I re-read an article by Andrea Dworkin I'd read a long time ago, and misunderstood: I Want a Twenty-Four-Hour Truce During Which There Is No Rape. Which is not to say I agree with it entirely, but I think there's much more to it than I used to think, like this:
Because you're turned into little soldier boys from the day that you are born and everything that you learn about how to avoid the humanity of women becomes part of the militarism of the country in which you live and the world in which you live.At the back of the minds of most anti-choice conservatives, and at the front of the minds of a few of them, I think that they believe that men should all be soldiers, women all baby-bearing machines, and all of us slaves to God and Empire.

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