Oh boy there are gonna be letters

In fact, I am so tempted to write one I can barely stand it. The students are back and so is The Daily Texan, meaning the college conservatives are going to start back on their letter-writing campaign about how librul the paper is. It's about to get swamped because they had a pull-out ad today for emergency contraception. The ad has a pretty girl saying with language next to her about how she used a condom, but it broke. Bring on the swarm of Bush-loving, letter-writing virgins! I'm tempted to write something like this:

Dear Liberal Sperm-Haters,

I saw your ad for this man-hating, baby-killing product called Plan B. I am deeply offended at this ad. If I were ever to get a pretty co-ed in bed like that and my super-sperm managed to break through the condom, I don't need your meddling product standing in between me and my chances at a shotgun wedding with that pretty little co-ed.

However, I think that Jesus' General could probably do a much better job. And they might also see through my ruse.