Mouse rant blog vent mouse.

Wednesday, September 22, 2004

At least pretend to feel bad about it so that we can all feel superior!

The letters to Salon about the story "The A-Word" are tedious and predictable. There are supporters, thank god, and of course the screamers who think that women are just all murderous sluts who need to be locked up, but then there are those who think of themselves as "in-between" and are appalled, appalled I tell you, that women who have abortions aren't all torn up about it.

And not a one seems to realize what's going on--they know rationally that pretty much all adult women are not virgins, but their internalized misogyny still reacts strongly against that fact.

A sample of some thinly disguised stereotyping:

As a woman who could've worn that shirt as a pro-choice statement but only with sadness, the thrust of the article seemed to deny that having an abortion can be very hard on a woman, even if it is simply the best thing for her to do. Can't someone be pro-choice yet still find the decision to have the procedure an agonizing one?

Of course it can be an agonizing one. But it also can be an un-agonzing one, which is what the T-shirt points out. Clearly, she feels it should make you miserable that you got pregnant and decided to terminate.

There are legions of women out there who have great sadness, yet no regrets, for having an abortion. We need to portray the spectrum of people and their emotions when dealing with these things.

The first step in portraying that spectrum, apparently, is to hide and deny that women have abortions without apology.

Any woman who can have an abortion and smile about it has a morally defective worldview. Such an attitude does not reflect a healthy independence, but rather a ruthless independence fueled by moral blindness and indifference.

It's true--independent women are ruthless baby-killers. One should only kill a baby if done if a man asks you to do so.

I do not understand feminists embracing abortion so fanatically that they disregard and downplay the perils of abortion. Every single person having an abortion has one thing in common, unsafe sex. In the days of HIV and other life-threatening sexual diseases people should be doubling up on prevention, not relaxing with the fallback abortion safety net.

We can assume safely that anyone who has an abortion is out on the town slutting it up with every man she meets. Women never have unwanted pregnancies when they are in long-term, monogamous relationships where there is no real threat of disease, now do they? If you have an abortion, you are a de facto skanky whore. Plus, condoms never break.

I'm not hearing these women talk about personal responsibility, but I do hear a whole lot about personal entitlement.

Women are entitled to nothing, and owe the world everything.

I support legalized abortion, but I hope the stigma never goes away. It is a regrettable option, and it should be discouraged in our society.

We can't have filthy sluts raising children, and I accept this. But they shouldn't be all proud of their filthy sluttiness.

The story is right in that abortion should not be a social stigma. But I'm also offended at the idea of glorifying it or glamorizing it. You shouldn't be ashamed of an abortion, but I don't know how you could be "proud" of it either.

The shirt says "I had an abortion" not "I am proud of myself for having an abortion". Apparently, anything but wretched shame is sinful pride.

I'm sorry, but you people are completely out of your minds. Like I'm really going to wear a T-shirt advertising to the world that I have undergone a procedure that is a personal, private matter. Why don't you just go ahead and print up some golfers' caps saying something along the lines of, "On 9/11, I was rooting for Osama!"

Terrorism is a person, private matter, like getting an abortion.

One may chose to have an abortion partly to defy society's demands that women become mothers, but motherhood, even single unplanned motherhood, doesn't have to be something undesirable that "society" imposes on women. It is possible to own your decision to become a mother as a positive choice as much as you do your decision to have an abortion.

Since it's one or the other, you know. Women who get abortions are never mothers and mothers have never had abortions. Ignore the mothers in the story who have had abortions.

I'm all for keeping abortion safe and legal, but I must admit my stomach turned while reading this article. Two and three abortions? Why? I can see allowing for one abortion, but any more than that is just beyond apathetic and irresponsible.

Quit hogging the abortions! Leave some for everyone else!


Blogger Ross A Lincoln said...

Dammit Amanda, I used to have a much more agonized, "nuanced" position on Abortion. Now, I'm very annoyed with people who can't bring themselves to quit hiding, and just admit like grownups that they support something controversial. Religious fundies never apologize for supporting horrible things like outlawing marriage between consenting adults, so why should we apologize for demanding the right to sexual freedom, and the right to determine for our own damn selves what kinds of lives we want to have.

By hiding or 'admitting' to a stigma, we're giving ammo to the people who want to outlaw abortion (and eventually, the pill, and women's property rights). We can't have it both ways, and there's no way in hell I'm ever giving an inch to the religious right.

My point is that while I used to have a much more "nuanced" view, I have changed my mind, and that's got a lot to do with the discussion you've been having on your site. So thanks.


Blogger Amanda said...

Hee hee. I should make my new slogan: "Mouse Words. Stomping out tortured, nuance positions wherever I can find them."

Nah, kidding. Grow up around people who openly pass loud-mouthed judgements on loose women who have abortions while quietly having them, paying for them, or even foisting them on those who don't want them, and anyone would be suspicious of the motives of "pro-lifers".


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*sprays coffee*


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