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Thursday, September 02, 2004

How to be sexist but get women to like you anyway

Well, at least the feminine ones who know their place. Watching the "liberal" men at Stoller's blog scramble to claim the mantle of feminism while making sure that women fall in line is pretty amusing. I particularly liked this comment by Jay Currie. He seems to be working off the standard crib sheet to put the bitches back into their place.

#1. It's not sexism that keeps women down, it's that women aren't that interested in being on top.

My own impression is that there are fewer women doing political blogs; but the numbers even out in terms of blogging in general. (Who knew you could blog about knitting? We get a nomination a month on knitting. None for male knitting so far.)

See, I'll bet some of you broads know how to knit. That's why you're not into politics.

#2. Women are different than men and it's nature so there's nothing that we can do about inequality. Sexism, again, is not the issue.

Second, any one who watches the play styles of very young children will be quickly disabused of any serious belief in the absence of gender differences. Little boys are far more agressive, much more likely to fight and significantly less committed to playing with a specific group of friends to the exclusion of others. Little girls, within group can be pretty forceful, but they will go shy with strangers and are not terrifically inclined to make newcomers welcome.

He neglects to mention the part where any female, regardless of age, gets the smackdown if she doesn't conform to her gender expectations. When I was a little kid, I was loud-mouthed and aggressive. I didn't know it, but I guess I was a boy.

#3. Women's skills are inward and better for home-making, and men are better at engaging the world. However, don't actually say that men need to go kill tigers and women need to stay at home to cook them--just imply it.

The protocols of blogging, cross linking, referencing, commenting all require a degree of outwardness. The ego involved in blogging, namely being confident that your opinions are worth publishing to an audience of 10 or 1000 is huge.

#4. Cough up some tokens.

Can women play? Of course. Wonkette, Virgina Postrel, Kathy Shaidle, Caterina Fake all play and play well.

#5. Bludgeon your opponents with your tokens. See, there's only a few women because most women just aren't good enough. Neglect to mention if your tokens would like to be used against their own.

But there are simply not that many women who are going to take the time to create and run a successful blog. There are better, or, rather, different, things to do.

#6. Flatter your simpering female opponents by suggesting that male-dominated activities are silly, little-boy things anyway, not grown-up important stuff that men can't be bothered with like uteruses and stuff.

Men like doing strange and wonderful things - watching pro sports, surfing porn, playing computer games, building decks - blogging is one of them.

The last strategy is the most offensive to me, for a couple of reasons. For one thing, it's one that was developed and perfected by men who were trying to keep the vote from women. Why would you want to do something silly like vote anyway? You have the important work of raising babies and stuff.

For another, the other "peculiar" stuff that men do is invariably a list of "silly" things that have a history of excluding and degrading women. Let's take his examples.

1) Pro sports--a field that women have been forcefully and systematically excluded from. Female athletes have had to struggle against being called unfeminine and had homophobic slurs flung at them. On the school level, until Title IX, which is under continual attack, girls' athletics were continually devalued compared to boys'. Even today girls are given more social prestige if they elect to cheer boys on as cheerleaders rather than be the athletes themselves.

2) Surfing porn--the reason that men look at more porn than women is there isn't porn for women. Why not? Women's sexuality has traditionally be demonized or ignored, while men's sexuality is treated as a power source.

3) Playing computer games--gosh, this wouldn't have much to do with the fact that most women don't have enough leisure time to pursue time-consuming computer games, would it now?

4) Building decks--girls are routinely denied any encouragement or training in mechanical arts, which most boys get some amount of training in. Women who seek out training and careers in mechanical work are treated like pariahs. If you don't believe me, watch that show "Monster Garage" when a team member is female.

In fact, women are interested in all these "male" activities, but those who are interested in it are so despite the fact that there's practically a "No Girls Allowed" sign hanging on the door. Just try to watch a women's soccer game with sexist men hanging around--you won't be able to hear the announcers over the bleating about how women are inferior athletes.

What kills me is that these guys are hanging onto privileges that amount to nothing. The mechanical stuff is a good example. Men have hoarded that knowledge from women forever, but when a number of women are entered fields like carpentry, car repair, etc., nothing really changed.

385 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Have you seen the video on MSN about pharmacists refusing to fill BC orders? My computer at work doesn't have video capability, so I haven't seen it, but this issue makes my blood run cold. Of course, so many women are on BC pills -- and more importantly in this case, the drug companies make so much money off of them -- that I don't think it will go far, but the idea is very scary to me.

-Anne

9/02/2004

 
Blogger Hugo said...

Since blogger won't post my link, I am at http://hugoboy.typepad.com

Excellent deconstruction of the arguments, Amanda. Even if one acknowledges that "most" little girls aren't as aggressive as "most" little boys, it's indefensible to ignore the needs of the fairly significant minority of children of both genders who don't meet that stereotype. Healthy social policy is inclusive of those who are, for lack of a better phrase, "gender outlaws" to any degree.

9/02/2004

 
Blogger Ross A Lincoln said...

Aw, you gals are so cute when you're uppity like this. You're just like some slightly less hot, more manly lesbians I know down at the steel mill. Don't you gals know that you need balls to blog? Most ISPs require you to fax a notorized copy of your scrotum to them in order to get online. Ditto most universities and libraries. And for that matter, all corporations and government jobs. Face it gals, you just can't get hired unless you can show some sack. Sorry, but that's how the world works.

Thanks ladies and germs, I'll be here all week.

But seriously, what the hell is worng with these guys? Thanks to the Kobe Bryant situation, I've been having some suprisingly illuminating conversations with people all week, people whom I assumedm owing to their liberalism, that they were feminists too. It's interesting (I mean, infuriating) how difficult it seems to be for these guys to grasp the concept of socialization, cultural pressure, and the idea that a majority of behavior we attribute to gender differences are actually a direct result of how our civilization encourages people to think and act from day one.

I can't figure out why guys seem so ready to embrace this crap. My current favorite bullshit argument is a Mousewords best-of, the idea that women just aren't as sexually driven as men, and furthermore, that women half self control, but men, once they get all fired up, just can't seem to control themselves. I suppose it might comfort some people to think men are robotic sex zombies lacking in self control or restraint, and women are frigid sex police officers, but that kind of depresses me.

Then again, I could just start masturbating and flinging feces at work whenever I feel like it. Then when someone asks me just what the deuce I'm playing at, I can explain how I just don't have a women to make me behave.

9/02/2004

 
Blogger Amanda said...

Goshdurnit, Ross! I made a similar joke over at Bopnews, but yours is probably funnier. I just said that all the best bloggers type with their penises, and that's why women aren't good at it.

9/02/2004

 
Blogger Ross A Lincoln said...

Whoops, I really needed to pay more attention to spelling. Sorry!

9/02/2004

 
Blogger Amanda said...

Anne, this BC thing has come up really suddenly. My theory, and I think I may have blogged about this, don't remember, is that the religious right is pushing their luck. They think they have an administration that is synched up with them on this issue, and they're getting all full of themselves. So someone is Wingnut Headquarters sent out a memo--time to start propagandizing the idea that preventing conception is the same thing as baby killing. But only if it's a contraceptive method that is female-controlled, of course.
Really, it's heart-breaking that so many of these guys think that simply by not wanting to conceive every time they have sex, women are rejecting them.

9/02/2004

 
Blogger Astarte said...

I was just getting read to type of a similar post, then I stopped and thought: I should go see if Amanda's already done this.

I started laughing as soon as I hit the site. :)

I love how they try to sugar-coat it by playing down what they do. Oh, there's so many better things for women to do than blogging. Like taking care of babies and cleaning the house, and doing chores, maybe? While the cute men sit about and to their 'blog thing' all day?

Fuck that. God, this whole thing infuriates me so much.

I play computer games. I play TONS of computer games. I have since I first learned to use a computer... what's more I play competitive first-person shooters and hold my own just fine. I've beaten a TON of fighting-related, competitive games, as well as the "traditional" female-oriented games. What's more, statistics prove that MORE women play video games than men do. Don't get me started about video games. This is something I know a great deal about.

Someone made earlier in the comments a comment about how women probably don't know HTML because they're too busy taking care of the kids.

Oh. My. God.

Women go about and do their things so that men can go about and play their little games and build stuf. That's just the nature of things. Now go post on your little blog that isn't as great as Matt or Ian's works. If you really want to play with the big boys, take Shaula's and Ellen's cues and become a cheerleader to make the boys feel like they have bigger dicks.

9/02/2004

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'd rather build genes than play computer games. I like reading political blogs to exercise the non-science part of my mind, but if I am going to be very active at non-science, I would rather do campaign volunteer grunt-work - mailing, calling, canvassing, etc. When it comes down to it, bloggers have only a small slice of American attention, and that attention is very segmented. Reading likeminded blogs simply furnishes my mind with some news and other info that may come in handy in the real world. These blogs also serve as a motivator for action.

NancyP

9/02/2004

 
Blogger The News Writer said...

Yowza! I haven't had this much fun reading what's basically feminist theory since ... well, the 70s! It's been so very invigorating, and since I'm guessing that most of you are younger than I am, quite heartening, even in the face of seeing some of the same old crap coming from those who just give a little lip service to this stuff.

Y'all've had me laughin, even while I watch Hurricane Frances tromp across the Bahamas.

Listen -- never EVER let anyone tell you feminists lack a sense of humour. I never believed it 30 years ago, and I sure don't now.

9/02/2004

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Amanda -- yes, you've written about it, and very well, but the whole thing seemed to have hit a lull for a while and I was kind of startled to see it on MSN this morning.

I actually DO hope that they keep pressing that issue -- just not to the point where they actually, say, make birth control unconstitutional. Just to the point where most people have their attention gotten and say, "What the fuck? You're trying to take away my PILLS/my girlfriend/wife's PILLS?"

9/02/2004

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dangit! That was Anne again, as is this. Sorry to have made an off-topic comment, but it was on my mind :)

9/02/2004

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

As someone with some science background, I hatehatehate it when people talk about "nature" being the difference between men and women--it's not so simple as that, folks.

I can think of a few very likely reasons why women's blogs are less well-known, and they have nothing to do with 'natural differences'. It's not only that women are perceived as fluff-heads more than men are. It's also that many women write about feminist issues which are, according to some, "side issues," and become even more trivial when spoken of by a woman. And furthermore, blogs where women post about foreign policy and economics rather than or in addition to feminism are ignored, because in many forums women are only considered to have something of worth to say if it's related to gender, as Katha Pollitt pointed out in a column of hers.

I really don't think there are inherent differences between male subjects and styles of blogging and female ones. I read your blog and Echidne's for much the same reasons I read Steve Gilliard's, or Alas, A Blog (I didn't even know Ampersand was a man until this recent kerfuffle, in fact).

-Linnet

9/02/2004

 
Blogger Cynthia said...

Hey, I'm a woman with a blog (www.freshpaint.blogspot.com). I write about politics *A LOT*, I write about art, and sometimes I go nuts about sweaters. No cats, but as someone said somewhere, "What's with bloggers and cats, anyway?" And I go racing around the blogosphere commenting on other people's blog.

The scariest thing I learned recently was that Alan Keyes (the nutty Republican running against Barack Obama in Illinois) spent much time playing "Age of Empires" -- *I TOO* play "Age of Empires" compulsively, obsessively. I find killing the villagers especially satisifying.

Your insights here are very apt. We all know what a feminist looks and sounds like, and we don't want to be her, because we'll never get laid again. Uh oh.... just realized it's Friday night and I'm blogging. Hmmm....

Almost like being a liberal, isn't it? Everyone's calling themselves progressive now.

9/03/2004

 
Blogger Elayne said...

Damn you, Amanda. Every time you post on this subject I wind up with at least three more female-run blogs to check out due to your wonderful comment threads. I demand that you stop posting about women blogging until you get me that 48-hour day! :)

9/04/2004

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It mystifies me why people believe that little boy/little girl differences in behavior are such an airtight argument for the naturalness of gender differences, when little boys and girls have already had years of being treated differently for their gender. When they tell you up front that they know this or that is a boy or girl thing (sometimes they get it "wrong" relative to what adult roles really are, but they're clearly trying). When some of my earliest memories are of being told, never by my parents, but rather by boys my age, about what boys and girls were supposed to be like.

I mean, honestly I do think some of the difference between the sexes is "nature" rather than "nurture"; I've said as much on my blog (and I agree with Hugo that even so, opportunities should be open for those people who are naturally outside what's average for their sex). But people *way* overstate the degree to which you can assume that differences between young children are "nature" rather than "nurture." Even small babies get treated differently if they're girls.

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11/04/2005

 
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11/04/2005

 
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11/04/2005

 
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11/04/2005

 
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11/04/2005

 
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11/04/2005

 
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11/05/2005

 
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11/05/2005

 
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11/05/2005

 
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11/05/2005

 
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11/05/2005

 
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11/06/2005

 
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11/06/2005

 
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11/06/2005

 
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11/06/2005

 
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11/06/2005

 
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11/06/2005

 
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11/06/2005

 
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11/06/2005

 
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11/06/2005

 
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11/06/2005

 
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11/06/2005

 
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11/06/2005

 
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11/07/2005

 
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11/07/2005

 

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