No one said manipulating a man into marriage would be easy

Steve Gilliard decided to help the marriage-minded maiden at his usually stellar blog today. It's an email from a woman who has won and gotten someone to marry her, so the rest of us sad, pathetic single women need to gather around and learn how she managed to do what only 90% of women can do. It's like getting beat about the head with The Rules, so reader beware. (Bold stuff he threw in.)

3) In a long-term relationship, unless you and he are very young, when a man says "I don't think I want to get married right now", what he is likely to be saying is "I don't think I want to get married TO YOU". Hence, the plethora of women in 8-year relationships who finally break up, and their guy marries the next woman he dates.

Ever. If he doesn't want to marry you after two years, he's probably never going to marry you.

So at the two-year mark, no matter how you yourself feel about it, you are required to dump him. He blew it. You can't give fair warning that this is coming either, as that's the sort of pushy female behavior that will never get your ass married.

Personally, I've never known anyone who dated someone for 8 years, dumped him and had him marry the next woman. I'm really not sure why a man would stay with a woman for 8 years that he didn't really like, anyway. Maybe one who was a Martian?

5) Guys say what they mean and mean what they say. Don't waste time and energy searching for the deep, dark, psychological motivations of why your guy isn't doing what you'd like him to do.

Seems like smart advice. Then why is this down the list?

8) When a guy says he wants "space", a "cooling-off" period, etc., for no apparent reason, he's really saying he wants to break up with you but he doesn't want to be the bad guy. If you don't take the hint, he'll eventually do something so bad that you will be FORCED to break up with him.

Which is it? Do men say what they mean or play psychological games to try to make you do the dumping? I'm so confused....

6) Relationships are not military operations. If you find yourself having to plot, scheme and strategize, in an attempt to get your boyfriend to propose, you're likely to be in the wrong relationship and you are likely to eventually regret it.

In fact, even the act of reading this list is far too much plotting and scheming. If you were attractive, someone would have married you already. For God's sake, someone married Anna Nicole Smith, and she's a mess!

12) Having great sex with someone does not necessarily mean you are in love with him. Perhaps more importantly, nor does it mean he is in love with you.

Great sex is fun, but love and intimacy usually happen outside the bedroom. If you can't be intimate with someone fully clothed, the sex won't matter much.

So, don't feel bad dumping someone you have a good relationship and great sex with if at the two-year mark there's no wedding band. Priorities are priorities, and intimacy is something that doesn't exist unless you prove it to the rest of the world. Remember, you may love someone with all your heart and soul, but if he can't make an honest woman out of you, then it's all for nothing.