Mouse rant blog vent mouse.

Wednesday, September 01, 2004

No one said manipulating a man into marriage would be easy

Steve Gilliard decided to help the marriage-minded maiden at his usually stellar blog today. It's an email from a woman who has won and gotten someone to marry her, so the rest of us sad, pathetic single women need to gather around and learn how she managed to do what only 90% of women can do. It's like getting beat about the head with The Rules, so reader beware. (Bold stuff he threw in.)

3) In a long-term relationship, unless you and he are very young, when a man says "I don't think I want to get married right now", what he is likely to be saying is "I don't think I want to get married TO YOU". Hence, the plethora of women in 8-year relationships who finally break up, and their guy marries the next woman he dates.

Ever. If he doesn't want to marry you after two years, he's probably never going to marry you.

So at the two-year mark, no matter how you yourself feel about it, you are required to dump him. He blew it. You can't give fair warning that this is coming either, as that's the sort of pushy female behavior that will never get your ass married.

Personally, I've never known anyone who dated someone for 8 years, dumped him and had him marry the next woman. I'm really not sure why a man would stay with a woman for 8 years that he didn't really like, anyway. Maybe one who was a Martian?

5) Guys say what they mean and mean what they say. Don't waste time and energy searching for the deep, dark, psychological motivations of why your guy isn't doing what you'd like him to do.

Seems like smart advice. Then why is this down the list?

8) When a guy says he wants "space", a "cooling-off" period, etc., for no apparent reason, he's really saying he wants to break up with you but he doesn't want to be the bad guy. If you don't take the hint, he'll eventually do something so bad that you will be FORCED to break up with him.

Which is it? Do men say what they mean or play psychological games to try to make you do the dumping? I'm so confused....

6) Relationships are not military operations. If you find yourself having to plot, scheme and strategize, in an attempt to get your boyfriend to propose, you're likely to be in the wrong relationship and you are likely to eventually regret it.

In fact, even the act of reading this list is far too much plotting and scheming. If you were attractive, someone would have married you already. For God's sake, someone married Anna Nicole Smith, and she's a mess!

12) Having great sex with someone does not necessarily mean you are in love with him. Perhaps more importantly, nor does it mean he is in love with you.

Great sex is fun, but love and intimacy usually happen outside the bedroom. If you can't be intimate with someone fully clothed, the sex won't matter much.

So, don't feel bad dumping someone you have a good relationship and great sex with if at the two-year mark there's no wedding band. Priorities are priorities, and intimacy is something that doesn't exist unless you prove it to the rest of the world. Remember, you may love someone with all your heart and soul, but if he can't make an honest woman out of you, then it's all for nothing.

387 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

At first I was going to say that the two year mark didn't sound that unreasonable to me - if she'd been making it clear that marriage was what she wanted, and if he'd still been saying he wasn't ready (and no indication of when he might be ready). Two years isn't too long for a couple to make up their mind whether they're on the same page about marriage. People shouldn't hang on for years vaguely hoping for a change of mind sometime.

Then I looked and saw where he says she shouldn't propose. Oh. She really is supposed to leave after two years without giving him a clue that she ever wanted to marry him. And I've known plenty of couples who were mutually happy not making it legal at two years, some of whom eventually married either when they had kids or when it turned out the legal status of marriage would provide some concrete advantage to them. So he wouldn't even have a clue that she's not one of those women, just as happy as he is, for now, without that marriage license. You're right; that's lousy advice.

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12/01/2005

 
Anonymous small business web hosting services said...

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12/02/2005

 
Anonymous lowcost web hosting said...

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12/03/2005

 
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12/03/2005

 
Anonymous net web hosting said...

Hey Amanda. Very nice blog :0) I just got inside from washing and waxing my truck. It is my baby. Took me 2 hours though. So I settled down into my basement and started doing some web surfing. Anyways I am in the process of grabbing my masters degree and have spent the last 6 months researching best web hosting company. In the midst of my surfing I landed smack dab in the middle of your blog. I hope you do not think I am intruding but I must say it is great blog. Even though No one said manipulating a man into marriage would be easy is way off base from best web hosting company I found myself cruising through your blog archives for the last half hour :0) You have some nice blogging friends. Anyways, I need to get back to my mission. I wrote don’t your url and feel free to visit me here at best web hosting company. I am so busy so I can only update my site monthly. Keep up the great work.

12/06/2005

 
Anonymous web hosting company for small business said...

All I can say is WOW Amanda. The other half and I just got back from our friends house (well her friends house) and I needed a huge break. I am working on a project right now that is based on commercial web hosting. I have literally been on-line for 2-3 hours doing research. Even though No one said manipulating a man into marriage would be easy really isn’t on the same page as commercial web hosting I am certainly glad I came across your blog. There are a ton of great view points on this blog. Well I think I can here the kids screaming in the background. I put you in my internet favorites and I will certainly come back and visit. If you want to take a peek at my site you can find me here at commercial web hosting. I update my site very frequently. Again, great job blogging and I will be back again soon!

12/07/2005

 
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12/08/2005

 
Anonymous commercial web hosting said...

Hi Amanda your blog is really great! Wow :-) As I was out blog surfing and surfing the web for detailed info on personal web site hosting I stumbled across your blog. Obviously my search landed me here and it is a little off subject compared to No one said manipulating a man into marriage would be easy, but I am certainly glad I did come across your blog. Did I already tell you I like it! If you would not mind, I would like to add your link to my "favorites" page to come back and read again sometime. Should you ever need it, there's lots of information on this site about personal web site hosting. Again, great blog and keep up the great work!

12/08/2005

 
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12/08/2005

 
Anonymous commercial web hosting said...

Hey this blog is not about lowcost web hosting. Silly internet bringing me here :-) Funny I have been doing hours of research on lowcost web hosting and it brought me to your blog on No one said manipulating a man into marriage would be easy. The web plays funny games sometimes. Anyways, I was reading your blog Amanda and I think it is really cool. Keep up the great work.
If you do not mind I will snag your blog and put it in my favorites. I read a ton of stuff on here that interested me. Keep blogging away :-)

12/12/2005

 
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12/12/2005

 
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12/14/2005

 
Anonymous commercial web hosting said...

What up Amanda! I just finished up a ten hour work day and decided to kick back and do some surfing. So I grabbed myself a drink and stumbled across your blog while doing some research on web space hosting for a upcoming project I am doing. Well even though No one said manipulating a man into marriage would be easy isn’t what I was looking for I really enjoyed reading your blog. Your doing a great job and please keep up the good work. Lots of people do not keep their blogs up to date :0) There are some very interesting view points stated here. Anyways I am going to grab the bull by the horns and continue to plug away at web space hosting. I have already bookmarked your blog. You many want to visit me at web space hosting. You never know you might see something you like! Again great job.

12/16/2005

 
Blogger Mortgage Center said...

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12/23/2005

 
Anonymous online dating service said...

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12/24/2005

 
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12/26/2005

 
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12/27/2005

 
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12/27/2005

 
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12/27/2005

 
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12/27/2005

 
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12/27/2005

 
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12/27/2005

 
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12/27/2005

 

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