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Monday, December 20, 2004

A real lady only says that in the bedroom

Bitch Magazine has put up an article on the debate over the T-shirts that say "I had an abortion." It's a really good, interesting read, going over the various reactions that pro-choice women have when presented with a T-shirt that simply announces that this woman had an experience many women have. The interesting thing is that a lot of pro-choice women who dislike the shirts don't have a problem with the message, they are just upset that it's on a T-shirt.

“Does she want me to think about the fact that she had an abortion every time I see her?” she wondered out loud. “Because if I saw her wearing the shirt, that is what would stay with me, even if she never wore it again.” I asked why she was associating a factual statement with the sentiment of boastfulness. “Because it’s on a t-shirt,” her friend chimed in. “Like the one I have that says ‘No One Knows I’m a Lesbian.’” Her statement was greeted by nods of approval from the other women who were listening to our conversation. Because there are so many t-shirts that function as affirmations of identity, people have a hard time seeing the shirt outside of a preexisting context. The logical question to ask, then, is the extent to which the fact of having an abortion is an aspect of a woman’s identity.

Here's the thing. I don't buy the idea that a T-shirt is a proclamation of identity in and of itself. Like one of my favorite T-shirts says "F*ck Censorship", and no one clutches her pearls and thinks that I'm declaring that I find my identity in my opinions on censorship. If I wear a band T-shirt, I am doing no more than asserting that hey, I like the band. Some people may find their identity in that, but I don't think that it's a common thing for others to really put that much weight on something just because it's on a T-shirt.

It's not where it is, it's what the message says. The reason that others would identify you as "The woman who had an abortion" if you admit to it has way more to do with our cultural definitions of what women's permissible roles and identities are. Women are still dominantly identified through our sexual and reproductive functions, and therefore a transgressive sexual or reproductive act is more likely to be turned into a woman's identity than trangressing other lines. Once you get labeled a slut who had an abortion, it's a hard identity to shake, thus women's silence.

In fact, putting the statement on a T-shirt is an attempt to force people out of the habit of solely identifying women by their willingness to adhere to the sexual standards for women. Rebecca Hyman hits it on the head:

A married suburban mother keeping a distracted eye on the children spilling out of her minivan is just as likely to have had an abortion as a single woman in her early 20s. If it comes as a shock to picture the shirt worn by a middle-aged, middle-class woman, it’s a testament to the success of conservative rhetoric in casting woman who choose abortion as irresponsible, selfish, or overly careerist.

The T-shirts make people uncomfortable not because they define a woman by her abortion, but because they make it so damn difficult to dehumanize and stereotype women who have abortions. A woman in the shirt had the abortion in the past. And then life went on, she had her life, jobs, friends, etc. She may marry or already be married. She may have children already or will in the future. The abortion didn't take over her life and now is consigned to a spot on a T-shirt, where we wear other small facts about ourselves, like what bands we like or stores we shop at.

506 Comments:

Blogger Roxanne said...

I'm not comfortable with those Ts, but I'm not 100% sure why. It's definitely not for the reasons you cite or those cited in the article.

12/20/2004

 
Blogger zuzu said...

Part of what I think is weird about it is I wouldn't wear a shirt that said "I had an appendectomy!"

12/20/2004

 
Blogger Barbara Preuninger said...

Oddly enough, I think it's OK, and I am border-line pro-life (that's my new description for myself).

I think it makes sense to openly say the truth about these things, if you want to. It's a perfectly reasonable statement, if you feel that it is not wrong to have an abortion. And it does educate people that there isn't really an obvious "type" of woman who has an abortion. I like it because I like anything that kicks around stereotypes.

Personally, I've only seen a few pictures of people with the T-shirt, but none of them surprized me at all. I know LOTS of women who have at least considered abortions, if not had them. And while I see many abortions as immoral, my world view does not separate people into "moral" and "immoral".

From my perspective, I would react in a similar manner to a T-shirt that said "I had an affair", worn by someone who honestly believes that cheating on their significant other is within moral behavior. (Again - MY view only. And I don't actually equate having an affair with an abortion since they are completely different issues. Rather, my general feeling about a theoretical T-shirt is similar.)

12/21/2004

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't think such a t-shirt/statement will put a friendly face on abortion. Instead,it just identifies the wearer as one of "Them" (one of those women who would get an abortion). It would just "out" one of Those People who had been "passing" for a nice suburban mom.

Amanda, you seem to think that t-shirt wearing is innocuous and no one thinks anything of the shirts you wear, but people do. When you wear a "F*ck Censorship" t-shirt, everyone knows you're one of Those People. Our statements, even those statements on our clothing, define us to others, even when we don't think they should.

I'm still ambivalent about the t-shirts. I like what they're trying to do, but feel this effort isn't going to accomplish that.

lis

12/21/2004

 
Blogger Amanda said...

Honestly, if someone thinks that I'm one of "Them" because of what I put on my T-shirt, doesn't that say more about that person and their values than it does about me? One woman wears the shirt, I see it and I think, "Alright, then." Someone who thinks women who get abortions are all Jezebels will see it and think, "Jezebel!" That's my point.

I'm not going to censor my T-shirt that says "F*ck censorship" in order to suit the tastes of those who like censorship. Now now. If they have a problem with the shirt and want me to censor it, their irony detector is all broken.

12/21/2004

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

How about a T-shirt that says, "I drowned a dog"? Maybe drowning a dog isn't immoral, and maybe abortion isn't either, but it just seems weird to brag about either one.

12/21/2004

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Exactly, Amanda. Instead of opening a useful dialogue between the two sides on this issue, it looks like it alienates the Anti-Choicers. Most folks who have knee-jerk "anti" responses to messages on t-shirts are not doing much soul searching to understand themselves and their reactions better.

I just don't agree with this remark: ". . . they make it so damn difficult to dehumanize and stereotype women who have abortions."

According to the article at Bitch Magazine, though, the t-shirt is encouraging a lot of dialogue among feminists of all stripes, and that can only be good.

lis

12/21/2004

 
Blogger Lanoire said...

The only problem I have with that shirt is that it's so easily spun by the pro-lifers--it could so easily be interpreted as flippancy, as saying "Oh, I had an abortion, it's the cool thing to do!"

But I think the benefits of making people realize that abortion is a common experience outweigh the pro-life spinning--and besides, they spin everything we say anyway, so we really shouldn't waste our time trying to avoid it.

12/21/2004

 
Blogger jeff said...

what if wearing such a t-shirt were (for some women) a declaration of identity, at least in part? What's wrong with identifying as a person who can make a choice of that kind? The whole idea, as it seems to me, of the T-shirts is to make it clear that all sorts of different kinds of women choose to have abortions--to put it out there that there is a group of women that covers all sorts of boundary lines--race, class, age and the like.

Seems that for some women, at least, this will be a partial declaration of identity--and if so, what's wrong with that?

12/21/2004

 
Blogger Amanda said...

Well, I think there's no doubt that slapping something on a T-shirt is a partial indication of identity, but there's not to say that it's a big part. For instance, I have a Ramones T-shirt, which says, "Hey, I'm a Ramones fan." But no one would give that the weight that is given having an abortion.

I agree, it's an experience and one that you are asked to keep hidden. So the T-shirt is saying both, I had this experience and I won't let you shame me. But I would still say that if someone calls it an "identity", that says more about their relationship to female sexual transgression than about the shirt-wearer's.

12/21/2004

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, aren't t-shirts of this kind (F*ck censorship, I had an abortion, etc) provocative in nature? I think they're supposed to make a point in a in-your-face style. Except having had an abortion may not strike casual passerbys as the best point to be aggressively proud of.

The problem, I think, or rather, what may be making some people uncomfortable, including pro-choice people, is that whereas there's no moral ambiguity in opposing censorship or having a taste for punk, at least not by most standards, boasting to have had an abortion obscures what the pro-choice battle is about, which is the LEGAL right to a safe abortion.

Pro-lifers work very hard at ignoring that focus, reframing it instead as a moral issue, as if legally banning abortion would make it disappear. The fact is that abortion has always been around and will always be around. The discussion is NOT about morals. We shouldn't fall into the trap of the wingnuts. We are not discussing morality, but legality. Neglecting to acknowledge the shady gray of morality in abortion is not the way. We can all agree that abortion is not a clear-cut issue in moral terms, but that still would not be addressing the real issue: to make an unavoidably uncomfortable decision (in most cases) legal and safe.

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12/22/2004

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, aren't t-shirts of this kind (F*ck censorship, I had an abortion, etc) provocative in nature? I think they're supposed to make a point in a in-your-face style. Except having had an abortion may not strike casual passerbys as the best point to be aggressively proud of.

The problem, I think, or rather, what may be making some people uncomfortable, including pro-choice people, is that whereas there's no moral ambiguity in opposing censorship or having a taste for punk, at least not by most standards, boasting to have had an abortion obscures what the pro-choice battle is about, which is the LEGAL right to a safe abortion.

Pro-lifers work very hard at ignoring that focus, reframing it instead as a moral issue, as if legally banning abortion would make it disappear. The fact is that abortion has always been around and will always be around. The discussion is NOT about morals. We shouldn't fall into the trap of the wingnuts. We are not discussing morality, but legality. Neglecting to acknowledge the shady gray of morality in abortion is not the way. We can all agree that abortion is not a clear-cut issue in moral terms, but that still would not be addressing the real issue: to make an unavoidably uncomfortable decision (in most cases) legal and safe.

Pato
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12/22/2004

 
Blogger jeff said...

Pato--While I fully agree with the main point of your comment (which I take to be that pro-choicers need to not let anti-abortionists frame the debate as a moral one), I think it's important to note (though we're talking about T-shirts) that everyday folk (like me?) see a relationship between morality and the law--i.e. that we ought to make laws that reinforce, or at least are compatible with, our morality. I think it can be a morally right decision to have an abortion, for instance, and I want the laws of the country I live in to reflect that.

Of course, you may not disagree with me in this regard. Just wanted to point it out...

12/28/2004

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

For those of you who favor the slightly provocative, check out www.prochoicetee.com's "Hands Off My Womb" tee. It's been both quite popular and rather controversial, with some people thinking it condones violence and some that it does exactly the opposite. Personally, I think that's what makes it so great! Because the whole choice issue is really about violence and bodily rights, isn't it? And if a teeshirt can provoke open discussion ... then it goes way beyond sloganeering.

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1/12/2006

 

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