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Monday, December 20, 2004

A real lady only says that in the bedroom

Bitch Magazine has put up an article on the debate over the T-shirts that say "I had an abortion." It's a really good, interesting read, going over the various reactions that pro-choice women have when presented with a T-shirt that simply announces that this woman had an experience many women have. The interesting thing is that a lot of pro-choice women who dislike the shirts don't have a problem with the message, they are just upset that it's on a T-shirt.

“Does she want me to think about the fact that she had an abortion every time I see her?” she wondered out loud. “Because if I saw her wearing the shirt, that is what would stay with me, even if she never wore it again.” I asked why she was associating a factual statement with the sentiment of boastfulness. “Because it’s on a t-shirt,” her friend chimed in. “Like the one I have that says ‘No One Knows I’m a Lesbian.’” Her statement was greeted by nods of approval from the other women who were listening to our conversation. Because there are so many t-shirts that function as affirmations of identity, people have a hard time seeing the shirt outside of a preexisting context. The logical question to ask, then, is the extent to which the fact of having an abortion is an aspect of a woman’s identity.

Here's the thing. I don't buy the idea that a T-shirt is a proclamation of identity in and of itself. Like one of my favorite T-shirts says "F*ck Censorship", and no one clutches her pearls and thinks that I'm declaring that I find my identity in my opinions on censorship. If I wear a band T-shirt, I am doing no more than asserting that hey, I like the band. Some people may find their identity in that, but I don't think that it's a common thing for others to really put that much weight on something just because it's on a T-shirt.

It's not where it is, it's what the message says. The reason that others would identify you as "The woman who had an abortion" if you admit to it has way more to do with our cultural definitions of what women's permissible roles and identities are. Women are still dominantly identified through our sexual and reproductive functions, and therefore a transgressive sexual or reproductive act is more likely to be turned into a woman's identity than trangressing other lines. Once you get labeled a slut who had an abortion, it's a hard identity to shake, thus women's silence.

In fact, putting the statement on a T-shirt is an attempt to force people out of the habit of solely identifying women by their willingness to adhere to the sexual standards for women. Rebecca Hyman hits it on the head:

A married suburban mother keeping a distracted eye on the children spilling out of her minivan is just as likely to have had an abortion as a single woman in her early 20s. If it comes as a shock to picture the shirt worn by a middle-aged, middle-class woman, it’s a testament to the success of conservative rhetoric in casting woman who choose abortion as irresponsible, selfish, or overly careerist.

The T-shirts make people uncomfortable not because they define a woman by her abortion, but because they make it so damn difficult to dehumanize and stereotype women who have abortions. A woman in the shirt had the abortion in the past. And then life went on, she had her life, jobs, friends, etc. She may marry or already be married. She may have children already or will in the future. The abortion didn't take over her life and now is consigned to a spot on a T-shirt, where we wear other small facts about ourselves, like what bands we like or stores we shop at.

95 Comments:

Blogger Barbara Preuninger said...

Oddly enough, I think it's OK, and I am border-line pro-life (that's my new description for myself).

I think it makes sense to openly say the truth about these things, if you want to. It's a perfectly reasonable statement, if you feel that it is not wrong to have an abortion. And it does educate people that there isn't really an obvious "type" of woman who has an abortion. I like it because I like anything that kicks around stereotypes.

Personally, I've only seen a few pictures of people with the T-shirt, but none of them surprized me at all. I know LOTS of women who have at least considered abortions, if not had them. And while I see many abortions as immoral, my world view does not separate people into "moral" and "immoral".

From my perspective, I would react in a similar manner to a T-shirt that said "I had an affair", worn by someone who honestly believes that cheating on their significant other is within moral behavior. (Again - MY view only. And I don't actually equate having an affair with an abortion since they are completely different issues. Rather, my general feeling about a theoretical T-shirt is similar.)

12/21/2004

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't think such a t-shirt/statement will put a friendly face on abortion. Instead,it just identifies the wearer as one of "Them" (one of those women who would get an abortion). It would just "out" one of Those People who had been "passing" for a nice suburban mom.

Amanda, you seem to think that t-shirt wearing is innocuous and no one thinks anything of the shirts you wear, but people do. When you wear a "F*ck Censorship" t-shirt, everyone knows you're one of Those People. Our statements, even those statements on our clothing, define us to others, even when we don't think they should.

I'm still ambivalent about the t-shirts. I like what they're trying to do, but feel this effort isn't going to accomplish that.

lis

12/21/2004

 
Blogger Amanda Marcotte said...

Honestly, if someone thinks that I'm one of "Them" because of what I put on my T-shirt, doesn't that say more about that person and their values than it does about me? One woman wears the shirt, I see it and I think, "Alright, then." Someone who thinks women who get abortions are all Jezebels will see it and think, "Jezebel!" That's my point.

I'm not going to censor my T-shirt that says "F*ck censorship" in order to suit the tastes of those who like censorship. Now now. If they have a problem with the shirt and want me to censor it, their irony detector is all broken.

12/21/2004

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

How about a T-shirt that says, "I drowned a dog"? Maybe drowning a dog isn't immoral, and maybe abortion isn't either, but it just seems weird to brag about either one.

12/21/2004

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Exactly, Amanda. Instead of opening a useful dialogue between the two sides on this issue, it looks like it alienates the Anti-Choicers. Most folks who have knee-jerk "anti" responses to messages on t-shirts are not doing much soul searching to understand themselves and their reactions better.

I just don't agree with this remark: ". . . they make it so damn difficult to dehumanize and stereotype women who have abortions."

According to the article at Bitch Magazine, though, the t-shirt is encouraging a lot of dialogue among feminists of all stripes, and that can only be good.

lis

12/21/2004

 
Blogger Jeff Pollet said...

what if wearing such a t-shirt were (for some women) a declaration of identity, at least in part? What's wrong with identifying as a person who can make a choice of that kind? The whole idea, as it seems to me, of the T-shirts is to make it clear that all sorts of different kinds of women choose to have abortions--to put it out there that there is a group of women that covers all sorts of boundary lines--race, class, age and the like.

Seems that for some women, at least, this will be a partial declaration of identity--and if so, what's wrong with that?

12/21/2004

 
Blogger Amanda Marcotte said...

Well, I think there's no doubt that slapping something on a T-shirt is a partial indication of identity, but there's not to say that it's a big part. For instance, I have a Ramones T-shirt, which says, "Hey, I'm a Ramones fan." But no one would give that the weight that is given having an abortion.

I agree, it's an experience and one that you are asked to keep hidden. So the T-shirt is saying both, I had this experience and I won't let you shame me. But I would still say that if someone calls it an "identity", that says more about their relationship to female sexual transgression than about the shirt-wearer's.

12/21/2004

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, aren't t-shirts of this kind (F*ck censorship, I had an abortion, etc) provocative in nature? I think they're supposed to make a point in a in-your-face style. Except having had an abortion may not strike casual passerbys as the best point to be aggressively proud of.

The problem, I think, or rather, what may be making some people uncomfortable, including pro-choice people, is that whereas there's no moral ambiguity in opposing censorship or having a taste for punk, at least not by most standards, boasting to have had an abortion obscures what the pro-choice battle is about, which is the LEGAL right to a safe abortion.

Pro-lifers work very hard at ignoring that focus, reframing it instead as a moral issue, as if legally banning abortion would make it disappear. The fact is that abortion has always been around and will always be around. The discussion is NOT about morals. We shouldn't fall into the trap of the wingnuts. We are not discussing morality, but legality. Neglecting to acknowledge the shady gray of morality in abortion is not the way. We can all agree that abortion is not a clear-cut issue in moral terms, but that still would not be addressing the real issue: to make an unavoidably uncomfortable decision (in most cases) legal and safe.

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12/22/2004

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, aren't t-shirts of this kind (F*ck censorship, I had an abortion, etc) provocative in nature? I think they're supposed to make a point in a in-your-face style. Except having had an abortion may not strike casual passerbys as the best point to be aggressively proud of.

The problem, I think, or rather, what may be making some people uncomfortable, including pro-choice people, is that whereas there's no moral ambiguity in opposing censorship or having a taste for punk, at least not by most standards, boasting to have had an abortion obscures what the pro-choice battle is about, which is the LEGAL right to a safe abortion.

Pro-lifers work very hard at ignoring that focus, reframing it instead as a moral issue, as if legally banning abortion would make it disappear. The fact is that abortion has always been around and will always be around. The discussion is NOT about morals. We shouldn't fall into the trap of the wingnuts. We are not discussing morality, but legality. Neglecting to acknowledge the shady gray of morality in abortion is not the way. We can all agree that abortion is not a clear-cut issue in moral terms, but that still would not be addressing the real issue: to make an unavoidably uncomfortable decision (in most cases) legal and safe.

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12/22/2004

 
Blogger Jeff Pollet said...

Pato--While I fully agree with the main point of your comment (which I take to be that pro-choicers need to not let anti-abortionists frame the debate as a moral one), I think it's important to note (though we're talking about T-shirts) that everyday folk (like me?) see a relationship between morality and the law--i.e. that we ought to make laws that reinforce, or at least are compatible with, our morality. I think it can be a morally right decision to have an abortion, for instance, and I want the laws of the country I live in to reflect that.

Of course, you may not disagree with me in this regard. Just wanted to point it out...

12/28/2004

 
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4/15/2007

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Q: How does your Debt Settlement program work?
A: When you enroll in our debt settlement program, we set you up on a monthly payment that is as much as 50% lower than your current minimum monthly payment. In the meantime, we negotiate with the credit companies to get them to agree to substantially lower the amount you owe. Once you have saved enough money and a creditor has agreed to a pay off (normally 40 to 50 percent of what is owed), we pay off the credit card company with a lump sum settlement.


Q: What are the indications that I may need to join your Debt Settlement program?
A: Our debt settlement program is only for people facing financial HARDSHIP. This means people who are late on paying their debts, have lost their job, have little or no ability to pay their debts in the future and are facing a possible bankruptcy. We do not advocate that any person default on their debts. This program is not designed to negotiate debts for people who have reasonable means to pay off their debts. If you have the ability to pay your debts in the normal fashion, by paying minimum payments, then you should honor your debts and do so. This program is NOT for people who are gainfully employed, have high credit ratings and can meet their monthly debt obligations.


Q: What other debts, besides credit cards can I settle using your Debt Settlement program?
A: We are also able to deal with medical bills, personal loans, repossessions, department store cards, gas cards, and accounts in collections. Since we negotiate with your creditors, we are unable to work with mortgages and cars because they will be able to recover the property in the event that you do not pay according to the terms they stipulate. Student loans also might as well be considered "secured debts" because the federal government will allow a student loan creditor to take your tax refund or levy your bank account without a judgment if you default. Since the bankruptcy law changes in 2005, even private student loans cannot be discharged in a bankruptcy. In sum, we only deal with debts where we will have sufficient leverage in order to procure the lowest debt settlement possible.


Q. Does enrolling into a Debt Settlement program have a negative impact on my credit?
A: Yes, your credit score will decline due to entering this program. How much it will decline depends on your original circumstances. Most of the accounts you place into negotiation are likely to "charge-off", which will reflect negatively on your credit. However, once this charged off debt is settled, the settlement is reported to the credit bureaus. Settled accounts are positive compared to unresolved delinquent debts or bankruptcy. After all the debts have been settled and paid, the credit score should begin to improve since the negative items have been resolved. A high credit score is desirable to have, but if you have a financial hardship and are unable to pay your debts, then your first priority should be to pay your delinquent debts and get back on your feet financially.


Q: Does enrolling into a Debt Settlement program stop collection calls from my creditors?
A: No. Your creditors have every right to try and contact you in order to collect a debt. However, we have been successful in eliminating most harassing telephone calls. If your account is in collections; collections agencies have to adhere to the Fair Debt Collections Practices Act (FDCPA). The FDCPA specifically states that a debt collector is obligated to contact third-parties with a Power of Attorney instead of the debtor. Once you enroll in our debt settlement program, we fax or mail a Power of Attorney to your creditors notifying them that we are handling your account.


Q: Can I still use my credit cards?
A: NO. All credit cards in the program will not be active and you will not have credit privileges. Any cards you DO NOT put into the program should not be used except for emergency purposes. This program is for you to get out of debt.


Q: Should I close my credit card accounts after enrolling in your debt settlement program?
A: Yes, you should close your account. In general, it is far better for an account to read "account closed by consumer" on your credit report versus "account closed by credit grantor." It shows to any future lenders that you took the initiative in your situation, which is helpful.


Q: What is the difference between Debt Settlement and Credit Counseling?
A: In a debt settlement program, negotiators work on your behalf to reduce your balance by up to 50%. In a credit counseling program, counselors work to reduce interest rates. The average credit card debt settlement program lasts between 1 and 3 years, whereas credit counseling services last for between 4 and 6 years. In general debt settlement tends to be a more aggressive approach to debt elimination.


Q: What is the difference between Debt Settlement and Debt Consolidation?
A: There are two types of debt consolidation: secured and unsecured debt consolidation. With secured debt consolidation, a consumer gets a loan that is collateralized by a home or vehicle to pay off their credit card debt, and then pays back the loan at lower interest since it is secured by property. With an unsecured debt consolidation loan, a consumer gets a loan from a bank, presumably at a marginally lower interest rate, to pay off their credit card debt. Debt Settlement does not involve lending, but rather negotiating with credit card companies and other creditors to reduce the amount you owe.


Q: What is the difference between Debt Settlement and bankruptcy?
A: Debt settlement is very different from bankruptcy. For starters, bankruptcy has far wider implications for your credit versus Debt Settlement. Bankruptcy is a suitable alternative for consumers who do not have any income or are seeking debt relief for secured debts like mortgages and car loans. In a Chapter 7 bankruptcy, the court orders a debtor to liquidate all of their non-exempt property and pays the creditors back with the proceeds from their sale. In a Chapter 13 bankruptcy, the court orders a debtor to turn over all their disposable income for 5 years.


Q. Can I be sued while I am enrolled in a Debt Settlement program?
A: Yes, your creditors certainly have the right to sue to recover their money. But usually the purpose of the lawsuit is to force a settlement on the matter. In our experience, most creditors would rather not go to the expense of suing and simply try to negotiate a settlement.


Q: What will I pay for your services?
We charge a 15% fee which is calculated based on the total amount of debt that an individual brings into the debt settlement program. This fee is recovered from your monthly payments in the first 12-15 months of the program. All costs and fees are always fully disclosed and you are required to sign for approval before you commit to our program.


Q: Can I apply for other credit while enrolled in the Debt Settlement program?
A: No, you cannot apply for other credit while enrolled because it could affect our ability to negotiate with the credit card companies. In some cases they will say, "If this client was having trouble with his or her debt, why have they applied for other credit cards after they enrolled in your program?" Moreover, the goal of our credit card debt settlement service is to help our clients become debt free, and applying for other credit cards while you were enrolled would defeat the original purpose of the program.


Q: Are there any tax implications associated with enrolling in the Debt Settlement program?
A: Yes, it is possible that you may be taxed on the savings related to our settling of your credit card debt. However, for clients who are technically insolvent, then the IRS only requires that you file a form 982, which exempts you from having to pay taxes on the savings from your credit card debt settlement program. The IRS defines insolvency as financial state in which someone owes more (liabilities) than the value of their assets. Many of our clients fall under this category, but you should consult a tax attorney for advice regarding your situation. Secondly, even if you are taxed on the savings from debt settlement, you still save a lot of money. Remember, you are only taxed on a percentage of the savings. That is, if our debt settlement program saved you $2000 off one of your credit cards and you had to pay 25 percent of that amount to the IRS ($500), then you still saved approximately $1500 and thousands of dollars more when you factor in the interest charges you did not have to pay.


Q: What are my responsibilities throughout the Debt Settlement program?
A: Your main responsibilities are to be truthful and to make your monthly payment as planned. Without ample savings we will be unable to obtain settlements from the credit card companies. If you will have trouble making your monthly payment, then it is important that you notify us 5 business days in advance, so you do not get charged for having insufficient funds. Moreover, it is important to stay in touch with us, so we always have quick and easy access to you during the negotiation process in the event that we need you to supply our debt settlement experts with any important information regarding your credit card accounts.


Q: Can I include accounts into the Debt Settlement program that have authorized users or co-applicants?
A: Before enrolling any credit cards with co-applicants, we ask that the co-applicant sign a waiver acknowledging that they are allowing the account to be included in our debt settlement program. For authorized users, we advise that you ask the credit card company to remove the person from the account prior to enrollment. If this does not work, we will need the authorized user to sign a waiver acknowledging that they allow the account to be included in the debt settlement program.


Q: What is the difference between credit card debt settlement and credit repair?
A: Credit repair involves removing inaccurate or unverifiable information off your credit report. Clients of our credit card debt settlement program will oftentimes use credit repair after their debts are eliminated to more rapidly increase their credit scores. Unlike debt settlement, however, credit repair cannot eliminate debts that you actually owe.


Q: Do you make payments to each of my credit cards every month?
A: No, we negotiate with your credit card companies to lower the amount that you owe. Once you have saved enough money and one of the credit card companies has agreed to lower the amount you owe, we pay them off with a lump sum settlement of your debt




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10/18/2007

 
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