Mouse rant blog vent mouse.

Sunday, January 09, 2005

How to be girly

Today's MSN advice is from one of my favorite blowhards, Mama Gena. The woman who writes in has broken up with her boyfriend and wants to be girlier, and I think there is a lot of confusion on what that means.

Is there anything I can do to make myself feel sexier more of the time? I was a tomboy until very recently. I am 25 years old, but I have never been very interested in ‘girly’ stuff until now. Since breaking up with my last boyfriend, I have begun to feel like I might like to explore that side of my life. I suspect there is a lot of power in being sexy. How do I even begin?

Please speak to me, Master Yoda. How can I find my power by embracing a model of sexiness centered around acting powerless? How can I giggle and simper my way to fame and fortune, Master? And if a tree falls in the forest, does it make a sound?

You know, you are so right; an enormous amount of a woman’s power lives in her ownership of her own sensuality.

It's like getting a homestead exemption for your house. All it takes is filing a one-sheet piece of paper and sending it to the courthouse, and voila! You own your sexuality completely. Plus, there's a tax break for you.

Owning your sensuality does not mean you have to be promiscuous.

So this is a bit different from owning your own house. If you own your own house, you have to let everyone come over, whether you like them or not.

All you need to begin this journey is the interest. Feeling attractive is every woman’s birthright.

Which is why you only want to have one daughter. You don't want your girls to have to split the birthright of feeling attractive like they have to split your property when you die.

So, how to start? Well, if you want, you could break up the day into sections, and look at how to add a little juice infusion into each part of your day. For example: In the morning, when you wake up, have your favorite CD wake you instead of your alarm clock because you can put your favorite music on and wake up in a good mood. Keep your hot tunes on and after you take a shower, take your time applying your favorite body lotion and enjoy the feeling of the lotion on your velvety skin.

For that extra push of girly feeling, have a couple of doves follow you around, chirping along with your girly music, while you finish your toilet. Don't forget also to brush your long, blonde hair with 100 strokes and gaze with a touch of melancholy at the mirror for five minutes every morning and wonder if your prince will ever come.

Each pleasure that you take for yourself, and from yourself, results in the creation of a sexy aura.

Like in Mario Brothers where every mushroom/star you ingest, you get special powers.

Splash a little perfume behind your knees and perhaps a little splash everywhere you might like to be kissed.

There's nothing that men like better than a woman who knocks them over with her perfume as she approaches.

Before leaving the house, put on a little bit of lip-gloss, even if you do not wear any other make-up. For some marvelous reason, lip-gloss makes a woman feel delicious.

It's probably because your lips aren't chapped anymore and you can smile without the pain and the blood.

Later, when you get to the office, make sure you have a fresh flower on your desk. It will remind you that you are a beautiful flower, too.

Thank god you have a squadron of magical elves who can ride your doves to work and plant the flower before you get there. Remind them to put a note explaining the purpose of the flower, since part of your girly training is to be a little dim.

See, it’s all about re-training yourself to enjoy the thrill of being a woman. Taking a moment to make sure everything you do feels good to you is a marvelous way to have you feel spectacular and sexy. You can review every aspect of your life to see how you can add pleasure.

After that set-up, I figure she'll be telling us how to get the most pleasure out of changing tampons. Well, she did promise every aspect!

For example, do you sleep in an old t-shirt? How about trading that in for a little silky chemise?

What if you sleep naked? I'd say that's pretty womanly, since you can see the girly parts. But then again, our brave advice seeker already had those parts before she wrote in, so I guess that's not enough.

Do you eat from a take-out container? How about trading up for a real plate, and setting the table with a candle and cloth napkin?

That's for your audition for the part of lonely single woman who inappropriately romanticizes things and will definitely turn into a stalker in the next paranoid horror film in the wake of "Fatal Attraction".

Every day can be an expansion of your enjoyment of your own sensuality and womanhood. Being a woman is a gift, but it is up to each of us to take advantage of that gift and make the most of it.

Here's a better idea: make your way over to flea's store to make a purchase that will accomplish the goals for getting sensual pleasure out of being a woman and give you that girly flush of excitement in much, much less time than Mama Gena's routine here.

131 Comments:

Blogger Pseudo-Adrienne said...

I can NOT stand that Mama Gena! Everything she says is a backward thinking, antifeminist slap to every woman who wants to be free from society's bullshit gender stereotypes. She tells women to solely rely on "sexiness", hyperfemininity, and chivalry. To her, and women like her, women can ONLY use sexuality and attractiveness in order to accomplish things. Nevermind possessing a brain or getting an education. I personally dress in an adrogynous fashion. I don't give a shit about looking sexy for anyone. Mama Gena is still living in the past.

1/09/2005

 
Blogger Brad Warbiany said...

"Splash a little perfume behind your knees and perhaps a little splash everywhere you might like to be kissed."

Umm... Maybe I should inform Mama Gena of a little fact. Perfume, well it may smell nice, leaves a little residue that tastes *nasty*. If you want to wear perfume, put it somewhere that you do *NOT* want to be kissed. Us men will be a little happier.

And I still have no understanding of why a woman would want it behind her knees. The only explanation I can think of will get me horrendously flamed here, so I'm not going to mention it.

1/09/2005

 
Blogger Amanda said...

Brad, everyone can tell what you're thinking, I'm sure. Don't assume feminist means being against dirty jokes.

1/09/2005

 
Blogger mythago said...

I am frightened beyond words to think that Mama Gena might actually *believe* what she's writing.

1/09/2005

 
Blogger yami mcmoots said...

The problem with sleeping naked is that both men and women are able to do it. My boyfriend and I were having such problems figuring out who was a man and who was a woman when we both slept naked, we even initiated sex with roughly the same frequency!

So I switched to a silky chemise, as a reminder of the fact that I own my own sexuality. Now I only submit to sex when he buys me presents! My house is so full of girly touches I can hardly turn around, my boyfriend's masculinity is enhanced, and small children in Indonesia are provided with gainful employment at the lingerie factory. Everybody wins!

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Blogger Amanda said...

Yami, if anyone was paying me for this, I'd be afraid for my job. That was funny.

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Blogger FoolishOwl said...

Is there anything I can do to make myself feel sexier more of the time? I was a tomboy until very recently.This is one of those instances of sexism that just makes me dizzy. I mean, from a sexist point of view, I suppose it makes some sort of sense to view "sexy" and "tomboy" as mutually exclusively -- I understand that abstractly.

But when I read this, and try to empathize with it... it's like reading "Green ideas sleep furiously." I know what the words mean, but the whole thing just doesn't make sense to me. Cognitive dissonance, or something.

1/09/2005

 
Blogger Kyria said...

Interestingly, all of the advice (with the possible exception of putting perfume where you "might" like to be kissed) seems geared toward a woman's pleasure as an end in itself. Flame away but I just don't have a problem with that, even if it's not necessarily in a style that I'd want for myself.

Tomboy, on the other hand, sounds like she might be interested in the whole power-over aspect of girliness, particularly after her breakup. If so, she's not getting a lot of help with it.

1/10/2005

 
Anonymous Jim said...

I’m a man and when I want to feel girly I put on stockings with a garter belt, silk panties, sexy push-up bra and the most sexiest pair of shoes, red lipstick also enhances the feeling for me!!!!! Why should women only experience how lingerie can make a person feel sexy?

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Anonymous BVegan said...

I agree with Kyria. This book is about making yourself the best you can be by experiencing the most pleasure you can out of life, not only sexually but in all that you do. While there is an element of how to "train" men in "Mama" Gena's advice, there is a twist. The basis of her argument is that you must first make yourself happy, then others will want to be with you. A happy woman, she says, will attract people who want to please her and make her happier, because happy people are fun and pleasant to be around.

She also points out that waiting for a prince to sweep you off your feet and onto his white charger is a losing proposition. (Yes, it's mainly written for straight women, but she acknowledges and encourages gay men and women to be happy with themselves as well.) Men and women of all shapes and sizes have qualities you might never suspect if you just see the surface, and she encourages her readers to become friends with everyone possible, because there is a lot of hidden gold out there in the guise of people you might not consider if you didn't know them.

There are so many unhappy people out there. I was one of them. And I spent a lot of time trying to get other people to fill up the aching hole in my being. But I finally figured out that this is too much to ask from anyone else, especially someone I wanted to be with in a romantic relationship. So I started looking at what I wanted, and trying to give that to myself. It turns out it is pretty simple - it doesn't happen overnight, but if you really prioritize and look at the elements of your life that you are unhappy with, you start seeing small ways to improve your life. (I believe in starting small, to avoid disappointing oneself and thus failing, which leads to dropping the whole project.)

Suddenly, people wanted to be around me more. My boyfriend started to be nicer and do more of the things I wanted him to do - without my saying a word. I no longer expect an overnight fix or dream of some magic solution - now I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, and am having a good time getting there. There are sucky days, but I know that they will pass, which makes them less sucky.

If you read the whole book, you may find it's not as bad as it looks from reading excerpts, which may be taken out of context.

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