Mouse rant blog vent mouse.

Thursday, February 03, 2005

I want to be him, not just stand by him

Alternet has an article from Women's eNews about a rock and roll camp just for girls. The camp's purpose is to help junior high-age girls learn music and gain confidence during that critical period in a girl's life when her self-esteem is confused by social messages that tell a girl she can be sexy or talented, but not both. It's an interesting article, but one sentence jumped out at me and I think that this is a concept that needs to be explored by itself.

While boys don't have their own rock camps, experts say that they have plenty of cultural cues supporting their desire to play the music and also don't experience the drop in self-esteem that girls do.

How is it that girls have an easier time learning to play rock music in a contrived single-sex enviroment and boys don't need that sort of thing? A number of possibilities occured to me, not the least of which is that there doesn't need to be contrived single sex enviroments for boys to doodle in music as we allow them these thing naturally without worrying as much about them as we might teenage girls who hole up by themselves to play instruments. And then it hit me what the number one difference between boys and girls is on this issue.

For boys who want to play rock music, the opposite sex is motivation, but for girls who want to play, the opposite sex is an obstacle.

The number one thing that adolescent girls aim for when it comes to their dealings with the opposite sex is to be as non-threatening as possible, lest you go utterly dateless. I know when I was a teenage girl, boys might develop crushes on girls who smart asses or let you know how bright they were or extremely dedicated athletes, but rare indeed was the boy who would actually be bold enough to ask such a girl out. Aspiring to rock stardom, even of the merely local sort, is exactly the sort of in-your-face behavior that teenage girls are generally petrified will make them sexual outcasts. I mean, I never aspired for more in high school than to be a champion in the various academic competitions that I was in, and my naked ambition was enough to make me an object of mockery at my high school, especially with many of the boys.

Boys have exactly the opposite experience--what's a better way to get girls to like you than to be an aspiring rock star? Playing an instrument doesn't make you too scary to date, but makes you all the more appealing when you're a guy. That's a powerful motivating force for the junior high/high school set. Of course, the end result is that when these kids become adults, a significantly higher percentage of boys than girls will know the ins and outs of how to play rock music. Which one could point probably has a lot to do with the wildly disproportionate number of adult men in rock music now.

Of course, I think what adults learned more than a decade ago, at least in the underground--that women who play are just as awesome and sexy as men who do--might be trickling down to the teenage set. But I'm not holding my breath. There's still powerful messages aimed at girls that any ambitions outside of getting the perfect hairdo, the perfect outfit, and the perfect boyfriend make you a over-proud bitch. And the pains of adolescence make those messages particularly difficult to reject--try telling a teenage girl that she won't mind not having a date to senior prom a decade from now because the very thing that threatens boys her age will be drawing them like moths to a light in her 20s and just see what reaction you get. So, I fully support camps like this.

28 Comments:

Blogger David said...

Hi, I was just out blog surfing for detailed info on building self esteem when I ended up on your page. Obviously I ended up a little off base, but I am certainly glad I did. If you wouldn't mind, I would like to post your link on my "favorites" page. Should you ever need it, there is valuable information on my site about building self esteem.

10/01/2005

 
Blogger 7472 said...

Alot of interesting comments on this blog, I was searching for some doctor related info and some how cam across this site. I found it pretty cool, so I bookmarked. I'll really liked the second post on the front page, that got my attention.

My site is in a bit different area, but just as useful. I have a mens male enhancement reviews related site focusing on mens male enhancement reviews and mens health related topics.

10/02/2005

 
Blogger Drunk Glory Hole said...

adult swingers

10/04/2005

 
Blogger A Damn Shame said...

If your looking for sites about gay sex picture, then click here!

10/05/2005

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey nice info you posted.
I just browsing through some blogs and came across yours!

Excellent blog, good to see someone actually uses em for quality posts.

Your site kept me on for a few minutes unlike the rest :)

Keep up the good work!

Thanks!.

10/18/2005

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

heh cool blog you have here!

I noticed you have a nice blog, read all of your links kept me interested for a good time! well done :)

Thanks for a good read instead of some of the other stuff people post here!

10/19/2005

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey nice info you posted.
I just browsing through some blogs and came across yours!

Excellent blog, good to see someone actually uses em for quality posts.

Your site kept me on for a few minutes unlike the rest :)

Keep up the good work!

Thanks!.

10/19/2005

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey nice info you posted.
I just browsing through some blogs and came across yours!

Excellent blog, good to see someone actually uses em for quality posts.

Your site kept me on for a few minutes unlike the rest :)

Keep up the good work!

Thanks!.

10/20/2005

 
Blogger George said...

How would you like a quick and easy way to keep track of all your important information and activities maintenance . maintenance

10/21/2005

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Great Blog! Ilike it.But here you can find woman looking for sexTake a look if you have a minute. Thanks and have a good one!

10/23/2005

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Great Blog! Ilike it.I have Totally Free dating site for singlesTake a look if you have a minute. Thanks and have a good one!

10/23/2005

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Chek this place out it helped me animation computer electronics

10/27/2005

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Blast your Ad to 13,000+ Real Blog Sites!

10/27/2005

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

nice blog enjoyed it :)

Keep up the excellent work! and i bookmarked u!
!

10/31/2005

 
Anonymous Health Fitness said...

Hi,
While I was searching through Blogger I came past your site, it is not really the information I was after about Medical Research but I did stay to read your blog and found it interesting and well done. Keep up the good work and hopefully I will visit again sometime and also find the information on Medical Research that I was looking for in my travels.
Regards,Regards,

1/04/2006

 
Anonymous Scopes said...

Nice blog ##NAME##. I was looking for hunting supplies related information and found your site. I have a hunting supplies site. You can find everything about hunting rifles, scopes, bows, feeders, stands, guides for trips and more. Please try and visit it, see what you think and enjoy! : )

1/07/2006

 
Anonymous Online dating guide said...

Hi there, your blog is excellent. As I was surfing around today looking for detailed info on texas dating I somehow ended up on your page. As your described site is not exactly related to my search, I am certainly glad I stopped by. Oh well, back to surfing and I am sure I will find what I am looking for, and should you ever need information about texas dating, then stop by for a look. Thanks for the post.

1/15/2006

 
Anonymous Electronics News Lover said...

Hi Guys,

consumer electronics service : i get my lastest electronics news on consumer electronics service
Daily updated site with rss feed.
Anyone knows a better one ?
Thanks

Gregy

1/31/2006

 
Anonymous yahoo online dating said...

hi it never ceases to amaze me how creative people can be, especially the young ones gives me hope for the future. Anyway I was looking for information on yahoo online dating and landed on your page. I was looking more for yahoo online dating your blog wasn't an exact match but I enjoyed reading your posts. Take care and thanks for the read.

2/02/2006

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Our network has been looking for a Surfing business like yours to list in our World Directory & our forum.

Hey, there is no cost and it will only take a few minutes for you to register!

Your Silver Fox Business Building Team helping build your Surfing business!

3/01/2006

 
Blogger George Forgan-Smith said...

Cool. Have you see the guys at seancody.com? They are pretty hot as well!

3/09/2006

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My wife and I enjoy swinger couples. We decided to put together a site to help others who are interested in swinger couples. We hope you will check out our web site swinger couples Look for us. Our nick is "sdray69". CYA there!

3/10/2006

 
Blogger George Forgan-Smith said...

Cool. Have you see the guys at seancody? They are pretty hot as well!

3/10/2006

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Watiti.com
Join me and my circle of friends at http://www.watiti.com, an online social networking community that connects people from all over the world.

Meet new people, share photos, create or attend events, post free classifieds, send free e-cards, listen music, read blogs, upload videos, be part of a club, chat rooms, forum and much more!

See you around! Bring all your friends too!

Watiti.com

2/13/2007

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

free online adult dating

2/14/2007

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Watiti.com
Join me and my circle of friends at http://www.watiti.com,
an online social networking community that connects
people from all over the world.

Meet new people, share photos, create or attend
events, post free classifieds, send free e-cards,
listen music, read blogs, upload videos, be part of a
club, chat rooms, forum and much more!

See you around! Bring all your friends too!

Watiti.com

2/15/2007

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Watiti.com
Join me and my circle of friends at http://www.watiti.com, an online social networking community that connects people from all over the world.

Meet new people, share photos, create or attend events, post free classifieds, send free e-cards, listen music, read blogs, upload videos, be part of a club, chat rooms, forum and much more!

See you around! Bring all your friends too!

Watiti.com

2/15/2007

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Watiti.com
Join me and my circle of friends at http://www.watiti.com, an online social networking community that connects people from all over the world.

Meet new people, share photos, create or attend events, post free classifieds, send free e-cards, listen music, read blogs, upload videos, be part of a club, chat rooms, forum and much more!

See you around! Bring all your friends too!

Watiti.com

2/16/2007

 

Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home