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Thursday, March 10, 2005

Trying the "Desperate Housewives" thing again

Okay, this is the original article at PopMatters by Raphaël Costambeys-Kempczynski that inspired me to write this. He lives in England and watches "Desperate Housewives" and wonders a bit if this show means that American women are a bit crazy. (Answer: no more than anyone else.) He also has the misfortune to read Brent Bozell's idiotic call for boycotts against the advertisers on "Desperate Housewives" because the show doesn't promote conservative values enough, which is the only reason for television to exist in Bozell's mind. CZ doesn't get what Bozell's beef is--to him, the show is conservative, since the women on it don't really question the basic values system where women's role is to labor in the home without a paycheck.

Oh silly educated Europeans! In Bozell's world, anything that suggests that a housewife's life is anything but the pure bliss that can only come from ecstatically giving her entire self over in the service of others is man-hating feminist propaganda. This show in particular is blaphemous--it suggests that women occasionally feel that children are a burden, or that they even, and I know it sounds crazy but it's true, make jokes.

These wives and mothers hate their lives. "Ease up, you little vampire," says one as she breast-feeds. Her older boys are so nasty they run over ladies with shopping carts. The divorced housewife tells her 12-year-old daughter, "Tell me again why I fought for custody of you?" The girl says, "You were using me to hurt Dad." Mom kisses her on the forehead: "Oh, that's right."

Cracking jokes is the sort of non-feminine behavior that we surely don't need to be exposing Americans to in primetime. Bozell also has issues with female anger in its purer form.

Scary Bree accidentally gives onions to her onion-allergic husband Rex. He said, "I can't believe you tried to kill me." She casually replies, "Yes, well, I feel badly about that."

Bozell neglects to mention that the husband in question is cheating and asking for a divorce. I would be thinking murderous thoughts, too. Of course, I'm free to do so since I'm not beholden to think of my man as the head of me and god as the head of him. It's a little difficult, I imagine, to question your own head's decision to cheat and then run off.

Well, Bozell can bitch and call for boycotts all he wants, but I doubt the networks are going to care very much for his preferred programming "Contented Housewives", a show that follows four women around their homes as they prance around them with a baby in one arm and a feather duster in the other, humming hymnals in a contented voice. Oh, I know there'd be some excitement on church Sundays, when she has to calm an exasperated husband down--in fact, every time the husband shows his face, there's a chance for exciting emotions like frustration and anger! But I don't think the networks will buy it.

Frankly, I don't think the show has a political ax to grind. Overtly conservative shows like "Seventh Heaven" suck, so they couldn't go that route. And if the housewives were always questioning their position in life, it wouldn't be believable, since they had to have bought into the whole suburbia thing to be there in the first place. It's a soap opera that treads into satiric territory. I would say they skewer the right a lot more, but that comes with the territory of writing about the suburbs. It would ring hollow if everyone in the big houses in the 'burbs were a bunch of liberals.

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April, 2005 – New York, New York
http://www.futureventspr.com/ccapril05presssleepy.htm


Oprah and the ladies of The View lead the way on “Operation Sleepyheads.com”. Mission: cozy stylish comfort when enjoying a lounging day-in or sleep-in. High profile celebrities of ABC Primetime including: Teri Hatcher, Marcia Cross, and Eva Longoria, Jennifer Garner, Michael Vartan and Isabella Rossellini, Mathew Fox, and Ian Somerhalder need to escape the hectic Hollywood hustle for uninterrupted “just for me” time. These Olympic athletes of the celebrity scene negotiate non-stop a publicity triathlon that accompanies being on hit shows ALIAS, Desperate Housewives, and LOST. After giving it all on the set, magazine, news, and TV interviews subside only for A-list parties, award galas and fundraisers leaving stars like James Denton of Desperate Housewives(ABC), Jennifer Garner of ALIAS(ABC), and Evangeline Lily of LOST(ABC), craving down time to refuel - Desperate to get LOST, ALIAS unknown!



Wisteria Lane's recent celebrity resident: Oprah Winfrey along with the ladies of The View (ABC Daytime) has launched “Operations Sleepyheads.com” as they share the perfect stop for those incognito getaways we all long for. Ultra busy Winfrey, the perfect public figure to have as a sugar-loaning neighbor (* according to a recent survey), along with those hardworking ladies of The View (ABC Daytime) know the place for comfy-stylish PJ’s, bath robes, nighties, slippersocks and more.







After a long day, during a “do not disturb moment”, or a “Desperately needed LOST, ALIAS unknown!” excursion, Sleepyheads.com is where you find luxury sleepwear brands like: Tepper Jackson, Threadcountzzz, Nick & Nora, PJ Salvage and other comfort apparel. During “Operation Sleepyheads.com” America’s #1 neighbor recently informed readers of Oprah Magazine about Sleepyheads.com (issue/date), followed by ladies of The View spreading the word to their loyal viewers of the live ABC Daytime weekday hit on Monday, April 1st, 2005.



The Ladies of The View and Winfrey know where to find Wisteria Lane cohorts like Lynette, Bree and super hunks: Mike Delfino, Carlos and John, friends Sydney Bristow and agent Vaughn (ALIAS, ABC), even LOST(ABC) pen pals Kate, Boone, and Jack while off the grid. Thanks to Sleepyheads.com who recently provided customized gift sets for actors of Desperate Housewives, ALIAS, and LOST, mission accomplished! Actors of ALIAS, Desperate Housewives, and LOST can now go incognito in style and comfort.



This Gift Bags by Sasa featuring the customized Sleepyheads.com items and additional goodies from recording artist Mudville, unique jewelry from artist: Jennifer Gerlach, fun novelties from Whimsic Alley (the Harry Potter Store), Tony & Tina Cosmetics, Cool'eh Magazine, the new culture and social commentary magazine, and more.



(see all items provide to cast of the ABC hit shows above at: http://www.futureventspr.com/coolconsumer4_1_2005.htm ):



To the stars of ABC hit shows ALIAS, Desperate Housewives, and LOST, Sleepyheads.com proudly presented our dreamy jammies and cute & comfy robes and slippers to the stars of The Desperate women such as Teri Hatcher, Marcia Cross, and Eva Longoria received hot and trendy Tepper Jackson Izzy Stripe, Hourglass, and Shadow Flower pajamas embroidered with “I'm a desperate housewife.” They also received absolutely dreamy Cashmiracle robes with matching embroidery and Karen Neuburger slipper socks to match! The Desperate men of the group such as Steve Culp, James Denton, and Richardo Antonio Chavira also received amazingly comfortable Cashmiracle robes as well as luxurious Threadcountzzz pajamas, the highest thread count PJs on the market, all embroidered with, “I love desperate housewives!”



Alias stars Jennifer Garner and Michael Vartan and company received Tepper Jackson Izzy Stripe, and awesome Bedhead Silver Denim pajamas embroidered with, “I know who I am!” They also received a soft and comfy Cashmiracle robes embroidered with the same cute quip.



The stars of Lost such as Mathew Fox, and Ian Somerhalder received an always comfy pair of Nick & Nora® Snow Globes, and PJ Salvage Fireside prints! The women of the cast such as Evangeline Lily received a pair of PJ Salvage Zebra with matching PJ Salvage Zebra Thong Slippers! These Jammies were also specially embroidered with, “Lost & Lovin' It” Now you too can sleep soundly in the same jammies as your favorite celebrities! Pick from any of these amazing prints below! Don't wait to get your very own star-crossed sleepwear today!



* The survey, conducted by Opinion Research Corporation February 2-5, 2005, polled 1,000 adult Americans by telephone.



###

news@futureventspr@.com
http://www.futureventspr.com/ccapril05presssleepy.htm
CoolConsumer April 2005 Main Page

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How to Get Famous -- In only 90 Days!
by Joe Vitale

"I am indebted to the press of the United States for
almost every dollar which I possess..." -- P.T. Barnum,
1891

Charlie Stratton was a little boy who would not grow. He
was destined to be less than three feet tall.

His parents accepted the fact that he would never become
a full sized adult. The neighbors felt sorry for the nice
family and their midget. But no one saw an opportunity for
greatness. No one saw the potential for fame and fortune.
No one, that is, until one man came along in 1842 with an
eye for hidden possibilities. That man was P.T. Barnum.

Barnum taught the child to sing and dance. He taught him
to express himself, to accept how he looked, to feel good
about who he was. He also taught the boy how to charm and
entertain crowds. And he named the young prodigy a name
that still lives today: General Tom Thumb.

Years later, after Tom was rich and world famous, his
Connecticut neighbors would shake their heads and smile.
"We always thought little Charlie was a nice boy but not
very special," many said, "but we never knew he would
become a celebrity until Barnum took him and Barnumized
him."

P.T. Barnum took many people who were talented but
unknown and made them rich and famous. While Jenny Lind
was known as the greatest Swedish soprano in all of
Europe, few had any idea who she was in America. Yet
Barnum hired her, managed her, promoted her, and Jenny
Lind became so famous that 30,000 people met her ship
when it docked in New York in the mid 1800s. Again,
Barnum had practiced the art of "Barnumizing" someone.

And to prove that his techniques worked, when Lind
decided to save money and manage her own concerts
without Barnum's help, her crowds grew smaller. Lind
didn't get media attention. And she returned to Europe
without fanfare. Yet it was the same Jenny Lind that
the crowds had gone wild to see under Barnum's art!

That art is not lost today, of course. Throughout 1997
I smiled whenever I saw an article on the singer Jewel.
Here you have a woman barely out of her teens, with
only one CD released at the time, making front page
headlines and cover stories on national magazines.
Last I heard she had been hired to write her
autobiography (!) and was paid more than a million
dollars for it. Yet Jewel is barely an adult! How is
this happening? Clearly, Jewel is being Barnumized.

And that's how anyone can become famous today. You
need someone skilled in the art of Barnumizing. There
should be a latent talent or trait that can be
publicized, of course, but even that can be gotten
around. Richard Branson, the tycoon founder of many
businesses, including Virgin Records and Virgin
Airlines, Barnumizes himself by creating balloon
flights around the world. Whether he actually succeeds
at the trip doesn't matter. His events bring himself
international publicity. And he is not promoting any
talent except maybe the bold desire to be famous.

I've been personally fascinated by publicity and
publicists since I began researching P.T. Barnum a
few years ago. Here's a taste of some of the people
I've discovered:

* Harry Reichenbach was an audacious silent movies
publicist who made people famous in the early 1900s.
In fact, his incredible creative ideas helped stop
World War I.

* Edward L. Bernays helped make such stars as the
singer Caruso famous. And he got American women to
smoke with a publicity event he helped orchestrate
in 1929.

* And publicists today continue to Barnumize people
like chicken soup authors Mark Victor Hanson and
Jack Canfield. One reason Deepak Chopra remains a
bestselling author is the publicist behind him:
Arielle Ford.

But let's forget actors and actresses, authors and
speakers, singers and celebrities for a moment. What
about the average person? What about you? Can you be
Barnumized? Can you be made famous?

Without hesitation, I say yes. The secret is in
hiring a publicist who knows how to find or create a
news worthy subject out of you or something you do.

There isn't any one way to fame that fits for all
people. Sometimes all you need is one wild event to
draw attention to everything else you do:

* Barnum once showed a preposterous "Fejee Mermaid."
The curious half-monkey-half fish increased his
ticket sales 33%.

* In our own century a circus once displayed a
"Unicorn." While everyone knows unicorns aren't
real, ticket sales increased 55%. Again, the one
publicity stunt drew crowds to see everything else
being offered.

But you don't have to be wild and crazy to get
attention. In an article I wrote titled "Hidden
Selling," I talk about the various people who are
getting rich and famous by sponsoring events that
serve a good cause. Bill Phillips, for example, is
selling people on the idea of getting fit. He gives
away his book, and a video, and holds yearly
contests. He donates his money to the Make-A-Wish
Foundation. All of this is making Bill
internationally famous. How does he make any money?
He sells nutritional supplements. Back this fact is
"hidden." What Bill is doing is getting fame, and
then using that fame to make money. Very, very
smart.

One of the easiest ways to begin to seek fame is to
write a book. You still have to promote the book, of
course, but as an author you have an excuse to get
publicity. That's what Evel Knievel wanted when he
called me. He wanted me to help him write his life
story. He knew that a book could bring him more
fame. (I turned him down.) Many other people know
this fact, too, from Donald Trump to J. Paul Getty
to Madonna, and that's why they write (or hire
someone to write) books for them.

By now you've heard the quote from Andy Warhol that
in the future everyone will be famous for 15 minutes.
My belief is that if you create fame for yourself
that sticks, that fame will be a credential you can
bank on for the rest of your life.

Take Evel Knievel. His publicity stunts Barnumized
him in the 1970s. Yet we still know his name today,
thirty years later. He wedged his name into public
awareness through his fame tactics. And he's still
cashing in on his name. In fact, his name is so
strong that it has helped launch the career of
another daredevil: Evel's own son, Robbie Knievel.

Most people know the name Tom Thumb today, as well.
Why? The fame Barnum created for his little friend
still lives. Fame can do that for you, too. It can
become a lasting advertisement for who you and what
you do. From then on, everything you touch will get
automatic attention. Tom Thumb used to sell toys
and other products. So did Evel Knievel. As a
result of their fame, these otherwise mediocre
products sold. The products weren't important, it
was the name associated with the products. The more
famous the name, the more easily the products sold.
That's why Pepsi hires the latest hot stars to
appear in their commercials. Their fame brings
favorable attention to Pepsi.

But what if you can't afford a publicist? Easy.
What you have to do is become your own publicist
and Barnumize yourself.

Let me explain:

A year or so ago I wrote a news release that helped
make Jeff DeLong---barely 28 years old---wealthy.
The headline read:

50 Ways to Leave Your Lover (or anyone else);
Unusual cards don't greet, say Hit The Streets

Paul Krupin of the ImediaFax news bureau sent it
out by fax and email. As a result, Jeff did twenty
radio interviews the day his release hit. The
Associated Press picked up the story at least twice
and spread the word to the media nationally. The
number of times the story was reprinted is
impossible to tally. But as a direct result, Jeff's
website sales blasted to $20,000 a week.
(A week!)

What made his news release so successful?

1. There was news here.

I didn't have to dig too hard to see that Jeff's
greeting cards were newsworthy in and of themselves.
(You send his c-ya cards out when you *end*
relationships.) Too many people send out news
releases without any news. They are thinly disguised
ads. Editors hate ads. They want NEWS.

2. We tied it to current news.

Valentine's Day was right around the corner. While
Jeff didn't want to tie his release to that event,
I knew that doing so would cause the media to grab
his release. It helped make his news relevant.
Whenever you can tie your product or service to
existing news, you up the odds in being used by the
media.

3. We distributed the release to select media.

Paul Krupin hand picked a list of media contacts.
What you send out has to match the interests of
those receiving it. Don't send artillery news to
an anti-gun newspaper.

You can get publicity for virtually any product or
service. The media is desperate for news. Provide it
and they'll advertise your business. But how do you
find the right news angle? There are at least three
ways: (1) Have news, (2) invent news, or (3) tie
your business to current news.

Jeff's release was an example of one and three. (His
cards were news, and we tied it to Valentine's Day,
which was current news.) Here's an example of number
two: Inventing news.

When Barry Michaels in Australia hired me to write a
release for his clothing store, I had to hunt to
find the news angle. I talked to him and learned that
because he was getting bogus orders online, he
started calling virtually *everyone* who contacted
him. This turned out to be a breakthrough. Customers
were in awe that a retailer in Australia would call
them. Not only did Barry stop the bogus orders, but
he increased his sales with this extra personal
service. So I wrote a news release with this
headline:

Retailer Finds Way to Turn Bogus Orders Into Profit;
Australia teaches the globe how to make money online

As a result, the Investors Business Daily called him.
Since that is a national publication, Barry's news
release will turn into *thousands* of dollars in free
publicity. Very nice.

Finally, let me tell you what I did a few months ago.
In mid-June I bought a mermaid. Yes, a mermaid. P.T.
Barnum had one and I figured it would be cool if I
did, too. It turned out to be a disappointment and I
felt like an idiot for getting it. But then I saw a
publicity opportunity. So I wrote a news release
(using method number two) that began with this
headline:

Barnum Expert Suckered Into Buying "Real" Mermaid;
Discovers curiosity as powerful marketing tool

The response stunned me. The editor of the American
Legal Association's newsletter asked if they could
run the story. Radio hosts wanted to interview me.
An A&E Biography TV show on Barnum plugged my book,
causing my book to sell out overnight. Ah, I love
this!

The point is, news angles are everywhere. Start to
think like a reporter, get creative, and plug you
or your business *within* your story. It's the key
secret to getting rich and famous today----within
only 90 days---and with or without a mermaid!

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