Men like women with the cold, hard cash

Now for some fun, happy reading--an article about how men actually prefer women with a salary and marriages between men and women who both have good jobs are happier.

Unlike the threatened Stepford men, women who can succeed at work do not turn off modern husbands. Women's earning power does not appear to get in the way of pleasure. Psychologist Janet Hyde conducted a year–long (1996) longitudinal study of 500 couples. She found that couples that said they had the most rewarding intimate lives were those in which both partners worked and experienced high rewards from their jobs.

That makes perfect sense, of course. The number one thing couples fight about is money, so the best way to reduce stress on a relationship would be having more money coming in. If you can cover your bills, you have one less thing to fight about.

Whenever I hear a TV pundit or whatever say that men like having a woman at home that he takes responsibility for (and power over, though that's rarely mentioned), I have to snort with laughter. In the real world, most men don't make enough to take care of their wives. It's a sure sign that someone is cut off from normal people if he thinks that most women work because they are trying to castrate their husbands. Mostly, they work for the same reason their husbands do. They have to.

But even if they don't, it's true that men are really cooling to the idea of having a housewife. I remember being unemployed and stuck at home all day for months. Looking for work is hard, but it certainly doesn't take all day, so the house was immaculate and dinner was cooked every night. He essentially had a housewife for 6 months, and he was about to go crazy. He was the first company I'd had all day much of the time, so I wanted to talk and get some attention, etc. He was tired and wanted to veg. It caused a lot of stress. I can only imagine how much worse it is if a woman is at home all day with children and wanting some adult conversation from a husband who is tired. Now, we're both tired grumps and happier for it.

This part surprised me.

A 1999 nationally representative sample -- meaning it mirrors the population as a whole -- of 4,405 couples found that divorce was more likely when a woman has no earnings than when she brings home a paycheck. In particular, the marriage of a woman with no earnings was more than twice as likely to dissolve as that of a woman who had a paycheck.

I would think it's easier to walk out on a bad relationship if you had your own paycheck and didn't have to worry about it. However, it occurs to me that a bad relationship that needs to be walked out on is probably more likely if you don't have your own paycheck. I fully agree with people that say that caretakers should be given more respect in our society. But they aren't, unfortunately, which strains the dynamics of many relationships where one partner makes the money and the other stays at home. I have known many men who demand that their wife stay at home and then later in arguments hold their status as money-makers over their wives.

The lesson in all this is cheerful, though. If you a bright, hard-working woman who likes having a job, then you are more, not less, likely to have a bright romantic future.