Mouse rant blog vent mouse.

Saturday, November 06, 2004

Just not getting it

The Army is trying to force a rape victim, a lieutenant in the New Jersey National Guard, to return to work even though she was raped by a fellow Guardsman.

Situations like this are never easy, of course. However, any victim of sexual assault by someone she knew can tell you this sort of thing is all too typical. Victims of acquaintance rape are expected to shrug it off like it was just so much bad sex. And that just exacerbates the loneliness that rape victims feel, because not only does it seem that no one else gets it but they think you're overreacting.

The thing about being assaulted by someone you know is that it makes you feel like your own feelings and wants don't matter at all to anyone else. It's not true, of course, but that's how it makes you feel. And when everyone around you implies that it's no big deal, you feel almost like they are siding with the attacker, like he was just a little rude instead of violent. Incidents like this show that our society has a long way to go in understanding what a violation rape really is.


Blogger lawrence krubner said...

I had a friend who had a friend who was temporarily without a place to live, so she invited him to crash at her place for a few weeks till he found a place. They shared her bed and then one night, rather suddenly, they had sex. She had not planned to have sex with him, nor did she find him attractive nor did he force himself on her, she was just very tired. Afterwards she didn't know what to feel. Really. It was interesting to talk to her then. It was as if she was carefully sorting through every possible label for the experience that society and her life experiences offered to her, trying each label on for a moment and seeing how it felt, and realizing that none of them exactly fit what she was feeling.

Haven't talked to her since. She may have reached a conclusion at some point.


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