Mouse rant blog vent mouse.

Friday, January 07, 2005

Self-esteem versus self-esteem

New Bitch Magazine is here! Tons of articles, and one early on is really interesting, where Gabrielle Moss discusses how the sudden cultural fascination with "mean girls" is just an excuse to trot out tired old stereotypes about catfighting. In her discussion on the movie Mean Girls she talks about a scene where someone suggests to Tina Fey that the girls have self-esteem problems and she says that they all seem pretty happy with themselves.

The line made me snicker because it reminded me of all the awful popular girls in high school who were happy with themselves and in fact thought they were the queens of our little school and that their status actually meant something. In that sense, they did have self-esteem. But in the larger sense, no they didn't, of course. Cattily attacking other women, being the best of the girls (but still not up to boy level of course), defining yourself solely through your looks and fashion--these are not signs of high self-esteem.

But it occurred to me that there is confusion in our culture about exactly what "self-esteem" is, especially for women. and the larger culture and feminists have very different answers. And the interesection between the two definitions is the cause of a lot of problems. The fuzzy general consensus that self-esteem is whatever makes you feel good leads people to define self-esteem for women and girls as that which makes them feel like they are adhering as closely as possible to the impossible standards of femininity. Whereas feminists see self-esteem as drawing pride and esteem from one's total being instead of just one's ability to appeal to artificial standards for women's attractiveness and usefulness.

The rhetoric around plastic surgery demonstrates this disconnect really well. To this feminist at least, plastic surgery is a signal of low self-esteem--I mean, you're slicing up your actual body to replace it with a culturally approved one. It's like a physical reenactment of how women are expected to subjugate their entire beings to artificial standards.

But to the larger culture, plastic surgery is repackaged is a way to enhancing self-esteem because it's seen as taking measures to get closer to the standard and therefore happier. There's little doubt to my mind that people who get it do feel more satisfied with themselves. There's pleasure in being good at something, even if that something is just looking good. I know I get a shot of pride when I dress up and feel like I look good. But the difference is in degree, as hazy as that sounds. The pain of surgery and time it takes to recover puts getting it into the category of efforts you undertake only for the most important reasons. That is, with the price you're paying, is the result worth it? Surgery to save your life--yes. To give you a slightly more culturally advantageous profile--no, I don't think so.

The self-esteem one gets from winning a catfight is another example of the cost being much higher than the benefit. Sure, there's that momentary rush when you realize that you're the bestest of the girls, but the price is that you have confirmed to yourself that women are petty and vain and to everyone else that women are just inferior to men. I know I hit on this alot, but it's an important point. Fighting to be the best of a group of second class citizens is detrimental to the more important goal of destroying the hierarchy that puts your class into the second class.

254 Comments:

Blogger jeff said...

First of all, I don't think you should have any reservations for bringing up this point again and again. It's important, and often overlooked (easy to overlook, I think). Plus, it applies just as well when thinking about race and class issues--the 'oppressor' in all of these cases wants the 'oppressed' to fight amongst themselves.

I'm also curious, however, about the whole subject of plastic surgery. I think that there are some moral gray areas here, even apart from the fairly obvious examples of, say, burn victims or people with cleft pallettes having surgery (you may not think these are counterexamples to your point, but I think it's likely you might).

When you say:
"To this feminist at least, plastic surgery is a signal of low self-esteem--I mean, you're slicing up your actual body to replace it with a culturally approved one. It's like a physical reenactment of how women are expected to subjugate their entire beings to artificial standards,"

I immediately want to ask: Is it ALWAYS a signal of low self-esteem? I think there is room to ask this question mainly because there is room to talk about what makes a standard 'artificial'--is wanting to have a huge, hairy (non-cancerous) mole removed from the tip of one's nose giving in to the 'culturally approved' nose, or is it wanting to meet people without their first impression of you having more to do with your mole than what you have to say?

Granted, most of the plastic surgery you're talking about in your post is pretty obviously trying to adhere to some cultural standard of attractiveness, and to whatever degree these standards are bogus, so is then the impetus to adhere to them. But what, exactly, counts as a bogus cultural standard of beauty?

This is not to say that I think a line can't be drawn, but I'm curious as to where you will draw it, and why. For instance, you've recently had a post about makeup--and that seems to be implicitly different than plastic surgery for you--not just in degree (putting on eyeliner vs invasive surgery!)but also in kind. What's the difference, in your opinion?

1/07/2005

 
Blogger james d said...

Finally, someone said in English what I've been thinking about plastic surgery and self-esteem. If it takes surgery to make your breasts or ass or vagina look better to make you feel better about yourself--you got some issues.

But Jeff also brought up a good point, one I've struggled with: at what point do you stop conforming and start doing what needs to be done? Even for burn victims--there are plenty of cases where surgeries are done to repair aesthetic only. I'm not saying it shouldn't be done, I'm just idealistic enough to think that everyone else should be able to look past the scars or the mole or the unproportioned labia to see the "inner beauty."

1/07/2005

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Aesthetic plastic surgery can be viewed as having two categories:

1. surgery to make one look more "normal", ie, like one of the 95% of the human race. Examples: burn reconstruction of nose or ears burnt off. Removal of giant (several inches long) facial scar or hairy mole (there may be medical reasons for reducing the size of giant hairy moles, since these are prone to melanoma), woman with mastectomy for cancer getting an implant to replace removed breast, or alternately, getting breast reduction on the normal (very large) side, to make symmetry easier to achieve when wearing "falsies"; panniculectomy to eliminate excess droopy (apron-like) abdominal skin after massive (100# or more) weight loss.

2. surgery to make one look "better than normal", for example, Asians getting eyelid jobs to reduce the epicanthic fold and make them look more Western; women getting breast implants to change normal B cups to D cups; liposuction to reduce symmetrical "love handles".

The goal of surgery type 1 is to fit in, to try and reduce the finger-pointing that the ignorant masses do to people who look very unusual, to take one's personal appearance out of consideration and try to be seen as having characteristics other than "ugly" (eg, to be the gal who writes a 'zine, not the ugly gal who - well who knows anything else about her other than "ugly"). The goal of surgery type 2 is to out-compete your peers. In other words, instead of trying to deemphasise their physical appearance as the epitome of their existence, type 2s are trying to emphasise. Of course, many type 2s are strictly business - the showbiz types who know perfectly well that plastic surgery is a career necessity not much different from getting the most sensational camera-friendly clothes.

NancyP

1/07/2005

 
Blogger Hugo said...

Oh, amen, Amanda. Preach it -- even if you are preaching to the choir...

This is dead on:

The fuzzy general consensus that self-esteem is whatever makes you feel good leads people to define self-esteem for women and girls as that which makes them feel like they are adhering as closely as possible to the impossible standards of femininity. Whereas feminists see self-esteem as drawing pride and esteem from one's total being instead of just one's ability to appeal to artificial standards for women's attractiveness and usefulness.

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Blogger Amanda said...

James #1, actually I really solidified my ideas on this through reading about race and seeing the connection. I find the book "The Invisible Man" to be a really good illustration of this dynamic.

It's a difficult line to draw and there's a lot of gray area, but I think that if someone is putting forth extraordinary effort into their appearance or favoring it to the exclusion of everything else, then there's a serious problem. Especially if that person is being applauded as having high self-esteem.

1/07/2005

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Kudos on another wise post, Amanda. I seem to recall that large but fragile "self-esteem" produces more bullying or violence than any other state of s-e. Which would seem plausible even with no scientific evidence.

I can't resist adding that you probably would've avoided the 'does it always?' objection if you'd avoided the verb 'to be'. But I don't think that objection significantly weakens your point.
-- Omar

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1/28/2006

 
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1/29/2006

 
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1/29/2006

 
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1/29/2006

 
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1/29/2006

 
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1/30/2006

 
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1/30/2006

 
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1/30/2006

 
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1/31/2006

 
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2/01/2006

 
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2/01/2006

 
Anonymous joel said...

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2/02/2006

 
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2/02/2006

 
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2/02/2006

 
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2/02/2006

 
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2/03/2006

 
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2/03/2006

 
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2/06/2006

 
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2/06/2006

 
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