They are clearly baiting me
That's the only explanation I can think of why MSN would run his'n'her articles on how not to decorate on their main page. The his:
I know, I know. Conventional wisdom – well, conventional Neanderthal wisdom, anyway – holds that guys who concern themselves with interior décor are guys who don’t date women in the first place.
Call me a squeamish liberal, but that's not "conventional wisdom" so much as a "lame, self-serving stereotype".
Beer is not art. Those posters that gave your dorm room such a rockin’ look? Lose them. Like, now. And ditto – no, double ditto – on any beer can/bottle collection you have on display. Nothing says “arrested adolescence” to us like those babies, and our take on dating a literal or figurative 19-year-old differs substantially from yours.
This offends me. I have not one, but two beer signs hanging in my house given to me by a dear friend. Lone Star signs are a sign of Texas pride, dammit! And what's wrong with being in touch with your youthful side?
Anyone who has a beer can pyramid is a 19-year-old boy and I see nothing wrong with him dating 19-year-old girls. Call me a radical.
Chairs and sofas were meant to face one another. Is your living room configured so that every bit of seating available is turned toward the TV? That communicates to us that you’re not interested in communicating with us. Unfair snap judgment? Maybe so. But that’s how our brains are wired — we see that and immediately think, ‘Here’s a guy who has arranged his place to discourage conversation.’ Instant demerit points!
I cannot wait for the day they find the gene for liking chairs arranged facing each other and prove me wrong for scoffing at this. But, when I see a living room with all the chairs facing the TV, I think, "typical suburban house where kids and family veg in front of the TV every night".
Refrigerators are supposed to be stocked with edible food. This is a two-fer. First: when you ask her if she’d like something to drink, the fridge should not be so empty that there’s an echo effect when you peer in and say, “OK, let’s see what we’ve got.”
Pull a beer off the beer pyramid, if that's a problem. Stick with ales, since they are supposed to be a little warmer, anyway.
Organic life forms should grow in flowerpots, not on grout. Pink streaks on ceramic surfaces, visible footprints in the tub (or anywhere), globs of toothpaste petrifying in the sink: Bleah! You think a woman is going to opt to park her toothbrush overnight in a place so packed with hostile aliens?
But I thought that sort of thing brought out the mommy instinct in women. Awww.....
Clothing and furniture don’t mix. The clean stuff belongs in the closet. The dirty stuff belongs in a hamper. None of it belongs on the couch, the bed, the floor, a doorknob… you get the picture.
You know what's sexy? Jumping up out of bed when a woman throws her bra on the floor and putting it in the hamper with a "tsk tsk" noise.
And now for what men hate! Turns out they hate girlie stuff. Sort of. Don't be girlie but don't be not girlie, either. Like giggle, but don't giggle more than 2 seconds. A stopwatch might help.
And we decorate our homes in a way that says warm and welcoming to us… and freaks him out.
Screw having a home that makes you feel welcome. When you are decorating, your first inclination should be to please men you don't even know yet.
Candles and potpourri everywhere.
Because nothing is more upsetting to a skittish man than a woman whose home has sexy lighting and smells. What does she want? Sex or something? *shudder*
An explosion of floral prints and chintz. OK, generally men don’t spend an awful lot of time poring over fabric swatches. But that doesn’t mean they don’t care about upholstery. And for the most part, it’s a safe bet that guys don’t want to come to your house and have no option but to sink into a seat cushion that’s both overstuffed and overflowing with frilly femininity.
If he wanted to date a woman, would he be with you? I don't think so. Ditch the girlie stuff.
Enough pillows on your bed to supply a large slumber party.
Unless, of course, you tell him that you have a lot of slumber parties. I hear that some men find this intriguing.
A stuffed animal collection.
I happen to agree. But being appalled by one million stuffed animals on a bed isn't a sign of some sort of male superiority. Normal adult women tend to avoid the stuffed animal pile, too.
Or – extra red flags, here – that were gifts to you from a string of ex-boyfriends.
If men hate them so damn much, why would they give them as gifts?
A hostess who can’t relax and hang out. I know at least one guy who is unnerved by the presence of a coaster standing guard between his glass and the coffee table.
How dare that bitch not want every date to mark his territory by leaving glass marks on her table? What next? Are men not allowed to pee in the corner of her bedroom? Steal panties? Woman, you and your coasters are out of line.
There you have it, people. The best bet to have a home that charms the opposite sex is to avoid decorations and soft furniture. I suggest patio furniture and stainless steel.