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Saturday, March 05, 2005

10 things you need to know about men

From iVillage and by Richie Sambora. Sambora couldn't tell you shit about playing guitar, and he's a guitarist. So why do we assume he knows something about being a man? As usual, we women are presumed pretty clueless when it comes to men. Men, however, know everything they need to know about us.

Men know what women want. But if we gave it to you all the time, then you'd want something else and we'd be screwed. We know you want us to be sensitive and romantic and sweet. We can do that. But we want to keep you guessing. If you had sex and diamonds every day, pretty soon you'd be sick of sex and diamonds -- and then where would we be?

Ah yes. The relationship-as-war model. The philosophy behind it is that if you give the other person what they want, even things that seem mutually beneficial like sex without head games, then the other person "wins" and you must "lose". The downside to this? The crying and fighting. The upside, however, is that when you make someone cry, that's how you know they love you.

We actually like to be romantic. Believe it or not, we like to cuddle and kiss as much as you do. We just need the occasional nudge. Preferably, the nudge won't come while we're watching football or The Sopranos. And, when you want us to be romantic, remember: There's no such thing as a bad G-string.

Upon reading this, I imagined Sambora in a G-string and, no offense good sir, but there is such a thing as a bad G-string. I mean, romantic gifts are nice and all, but when I buy clothes for my guy as a romantic present, I prefer--

Oh, I'm sorry. I think he meant that if you want him to be romantic you should parade around in a G-string. Hopefully after the kids go to bed, of course.

We know you call and hang up. But it's cool. Being checked up on is kind of flattering.

Nice to know that he still dates 15-year-olds. I guess it's hard to get grown women who have some pride to flatter you like this.

If you say, "call me," we won't -- at least not for a few days. It doesn't mean we don't like you; it's just our way of playing hard to get.

The way you know he likes you is he acts like he forgot your name and only called you when masturbating got kinda boring. If he calls and generally acts like he enjoys your company, he doesn't like you. Sweet....Thanks for the tip. Luckily, whether the object of interest is a game-playing asshole or not, the way you should behave is exactly the same. Only date people who are polite enough to show interest by returning calls promptly. That way, the polite ones get dates and the game players have to rethink their strategy. Simple!

We do masturbate -- almost as much as you do.

Ya' think? And here I was thinking that all those advertisements for movies on the Internet with nekkid women in them demonstrated a sudden, inexplicable interest in European coming of age art films. Well, at least now I know that the gamine ingenue hasn't actually given way to modern marvels of plastic surgery.

We want to make you feel good, both physically and emotionally, but you have to tell us what to do.

Okay, well to start off, don't play games by withholding sex or "forgetting" to call to get women under your thumb. Having your self-esteem lowered to make you more pliable doesn't feel as good as you'd think.

We wouldn't care what we look like if you didn't care what we look like.

However, there's every reason to believe that if women didn't want to impress men, the world would still have the Wonderbra.

We want you to be our mothers.

Heather Locklear is a saint. And now I have the unfortunate image of her man calling her Mommy and I'm all upset.

We don't mind it when you dress us.

If he asks for a sponge bath next, I hope Locklear takes a moment to remember that she is a stunning beauty who has exactly zero reason to fear that she's headed for spinsterhood if she suddenly gave up playing Airplane in order to get her husband to eat.

We're terrified you'll break our hearts. All men are afraid of getting too close, too fast. So, if we seem standoffish, it's not because we don't like you.

The logic behind getting someone to think you don't like them in order to get them to stick around is pretty much the same logic in use by people who claim that they don't want to wear a seatbelt because they'd rather get "thrown free" from the car in an accident. Getting tossed into a wall at 70 mph isn't a great way to survive, and making someone think you don't like them isn't really the best way to get them to stick around.

Alas, one thing Sambora neglects to mention is if he believes in the Pussy Oversoul, a concept described by zuzu here and, coincidentally, the name of my new imaginary punk band. Though I am keeping the name Clitty Litter in the pocket, just to be on the safe side.

539 Comments:

Blogger zuzu said...

Whee! A shout-out!

All men are afraid of getting too close, too fast. .

snort. That's funny. I'm a naturally standoffish person, and you wouldn't believe how often I've run into guys who want to know why I'm not getting close to them right off the bat. And that doesn't even include the controlling assholes who want you to pledge your soul to them on the second date.

3/05/2005

 
Blogger Roxanne said...

You crack me up.

3/05/2005

 
Blogger Kyso K. said...

You know, there's nothing wrong with a man married to Heather Locklear liking to see his wife in a g-string.

But what about men not married to Heather Locklear? My boyfriend's girlfriend is twenty pounds overwieght and her apartment is never above 50 degrees...I'm not sure what the sexiness quotient of an overwieght girl -blue at the toes and covered in goosebumps- prancing around in a g-string is, but if my roommate walked in on it, I'm sure he'd let me know.

And I'm glad he managed to slip in that subtle brag about Locklear--I had no idea who this guy was, only vague memories of even knowing anyone who listened to BonJovi, and was about to dismiss his advice. But now I know that he is intimatly connected to someone who was famous in my lifetime, so maybe he's still an expert.

3/05/2005

 
Blogger Kyso K. said...

OK, I did it again...I followed one of your links and looked at its sponsors. Bad Kyso! Bad! You're killing your weekend!

The 10 Things I Need to Know About Men was brought to me by:

1. A background check site wanting to know if "my date is too good to be true" and implying that running a quick bgcheck on a stranger is just a natural part of dating prudently.

2. A site (actually just a page mining your info to spam you) offering to let you in on the "secrets that most men will never know about women" uhh...what about point #1 in the article?

3. A page promising to rid your partner of that commitment phobia that's been plauging him (and denying you marriage). Once again, contridicting the whole rest of the article.

4. Some book about reviving conversations, but the link just takes you to the main page of what is clearly some publisher's would-be money printing scheme. ("Crucial conversations, Crucial confrontations, Chicken Soup for the Crucial Soul, etc). God, I had to increase thier click-through numbers just to get this information, so I hope someone cares.

Only ads 1 & 4 looked liked they'd been touched by an html editor more complex than notepad.

So we've got a has-been rock star offering relationship advice to women on a site that sells ad space at a price low enough for scammer's budgets. Now just sit back and revel in iVillage's validity. Oh, yes, thier advice feels sooooo good.

3/05/2005

 
Blogger Norbizness said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

3/05/2005

 
Blogger Norbizness said...

[sorry, the last one had numerous typos} I'll bet you didn't know, based on the Sambora Universalization School Of Gender Relations, that all men wear jeans with matched sleeveless denim vests (no shirt, naturally), sport silly cowboy hats cribbed from Sergio Leone's spaghetti westerns, and have long, stringy black hair damaged by years of Aqua Net abuse.

3/05/2005

 
Blogger Riggsveda said...

"...there is such a thing as a bad G-string."Maybe he was referring to the guitar.

3/05/2005

 
Blogger Charlie said...

Great post! It irritates the snot out of me when one person projects his personal preferences onto an entire class of people. And it happens way too often.

3/05/2005

 
Anonymous Moebius Stripper said...

Men know what women want....
We want to make you feel good[...]but you have to tell us what to do.
The hell? The whole column's crap, but even still, how did THAT survive proofreading?

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

It is amazing, how all these are right about this guy Nathan who i am head of hills for. I have gone through each and every problem with him and he is 28, I wish I knew when the problems like you stated would stop at least the one where they are afraid to commit, and the life they carry behind that. This is so much like what i am going through. When does it stop, and why cant the relationship work, all cause of these problems, is he a player or a normal guy is what i ask now?

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what i didnt know about MEN
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10/31/2005

 
Blogger EQ said...

The U.S. Government is the nation's largest provider of financial assistance to women & minority owned small businesses. The U.S. Small Business Administration (SBA) is Congressionally mandated to assist the nation’s small businesses in meeting their financing needs. The SBA has small business loan programs and services to meet most small business needs. More information on U.S. Government Small Business Loans can be found at **www.SBASmallBusinessLoans.com**

How do Government SBA Small Business Loans work?

When a small business owner applies to a lending institution for a business loan, the lender reviews the application and decides if it merits a busiuness loan or if it requires an SBA guaranty. SBA backing on the business loan is then requested by the lender. In guaranteeing the business loan, the SBA assures the lender that, in the event the borrower does not repay the loan, the government will reimburse the lender for its loss. By providing this guaranty, the Small Business Administration helps tens of thousands of small business owners get financing they would not otherwise obtain.

How much money can I borrow?

Here are a few examples of what you can get from SBA small business loans programs:

7(a) Loan Guaranty Program

The 7(a) Loan Guaranty Program is the SBA's primary small business loan program. A maximum loan amount of $2 million has been established for 7(a) business loans.

Low Documentation Loan (SBALowDoc)

SBALowDoc is the SBA’s quick and easy program that provides a guaranty on small business loans of $150,000 or less. Once you have met your lender’s requirements for credit, the lender may request an SBALowDoc guaranty for up to 85 percent of the loan amount. You complete the front of a one-page SBA application, and the lender completes the back. At SBALowDoc centers, the agency processes completed applications within 36 hours.

SBAExpress

This method makes it easier and faster for lenders to provide small business loans of $250,000 or less. The SBA provides a rapid response through its PLP processing center in Sacramento, Calif.— within 36 hours of receiving the complete application package. Lenders use their own procedures to approve and service the loans.

CommunityExpress

The CommunityExpress pilot program is designed to spur economic development and job creation in untapped rural and inner city communities by providing loans and technical assistance. Loan proceeds may be used for most business purposes, including start-up, expansion, equipment purchases, working capital, inventory or real-estate acquisitions.
To be eligible for CommunityExpress, current or prospective small businesses must be located in low- and moderate-income urban and rural areas.

While CommunityExpress is similar to SBAExpress, here are some differences:

• CommunityExpress focuses on predesignated geographic areas that primarily low- and moderate-income urban and rural areas.

• The maximum loan amount under CommunityExpress is $250,000.

• CommunityExpress lenders, together with the National Community Reinvestment Coalition, provide hands-on technical training and support, both before and after loan closings, through community-based, nonprofit NCRC member organizations.

7(m) Microloan Program

The SBA’s Microloan Program provides very small loans up to $35,000 to small businesses and not-for-profit child-care centers through a network of locally based intermediary lenders. In addition to making the loans, the intermediaries provide management and technical assistance to microborrowers and potential microborrowers.

What can I use the loan proceeds for?

You can use an SBA small business loan to:

• expand or renovate facilities;
• purchase machinery, equipment, fixtures and leasehold improvements;
• finance receivables and augment working capital;
• refinance existing debt (with compelling reason);
• finance seasonal lines of credit;
• construct commercial buildings; and/or
• purchase land or buildings.

How do I repay the loan?

The length of time for repayment depends on the use of the loan proceeds and the ability of your small business to repay the loan.The term is usually 5 to 10 years for working capital, and up to 25 years for fixed assets such as the purchase or major renovation of real estate or purchase of equipment. There are no balloon payments, prepayment penalties, application fees or points permitted with these small business loans. Repayment plans may be tailored to each individual small business.

How do I get started?

You submit a business loan application to a lender for initial review. If the lender approves the business loan subject to an SBA guaranty, a copy of the loan application and a credit analysis are forwarded by the lender to the nearest SBA office. After SBA approval, the lending institution closes the business loan and disburses the funds; you make monthly loan payments directly to the lender. As with any loan, you are responsible for repaying the full amount of the loan. Visit **www.SBASmallBusinessLoans.com** for more info.

10/31/2005

 
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10/31/2005

 
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10/31/2005

 
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10/31/2005

 
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10/31/2005

 
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