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Monday, June 21, 2004

The sexual obsessions of wingnuts

Reading the always funny World O'Crap wingnut round-up today, I was struck once again on how sex-obsessed the wingnuts tend to be while accusing those of us on the left of just that. As we all know, the media got another chance to allow wingnuts to sit around fantasizing about where Clinton sticks his pee-pee this weekend, reminding us all over again that the wingnut sex obsession is worse than just a mere healthy over-interest in sex, but a sick, twisted obsession with other people's sex lives. And World O'Crap has some other examples of the Peeping Tom-ish obsession with what other people do in bed.
The evidence that wingnuts are obsessed with what other people do in bed is a Gary Bauer quote from a Jerry Falwell article. We have to stop homosexual marriage because of dirty, naughty anal sex!

Our kids will be taught how to perform 'safe sodomy' in their sex education classes.

It always seems that it comes back to this--we can't legalize gay marriage because uptight straight men are grossed out by what they think gay men do in bed. I'm not sure how that has anything to do with lesbians, of course. Or why it is that legal marriage would suddenly force them to start picturing gay men having sex in graphic detail (which Bauer for one seems to do already).
Is it that wingnuts picture every married couple they know having sex and therefore they have no choice but to imagine it if there are married gay couples? That seems to me that must be it. Most of us manage to get through our lives knowing tons and tons of people who are coupled off in marriage and yet refraining from picturing most of them having sex. In fact, most people you meet are or have been or will be married at some point in their lives, and still it's startlingly easy to refrain from losing your mind imagining all of them having sex.
But what comes easily to most of us is apparently impossible for Gary Bauer and Jerry Falwell. When they meet a married couple, they immediately must imagine them having sex or else they wouldn't be so afraid of meeting married gay couples. And we should take mercy on them and their overactive imaginations and discriminate against a whole group of people in order to spare them from having to imagine sexual behavior they don't find appealing.
Of course, if they get to ban marriage for those whose sex lives are unappealing to them, we should extend that right to others. I for one find it gross to imagine Jerry Falwell having sex. In fact, right then and there was the first time I've ever pictured it and I had to step outside for some fresh air. And I don't even know what his wife looks like! I'm sure that would my discomfort worse. His marriage should be dissolved immediately to spare me from any further gross-outs.

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