It's better to use Match.com, we swear!

I have no problem whatsoever with online dating. In fact, I sort of admire the straightforwardness of the intent of online dating sites--no mixed signals about someone's intentions when signing up for one. Nonetheless, I do have to wonder what the motivation behind this lastest dating advice article from MSN is? Considering that it's sponsored by Match.com, one does wonder if their list of top ten places not to look for dates might be trying to drum up some business.

Well no matter. They wrote, I blog it. So, onto the 10 places not to find dates.

1. A skanky, nasty, gross bar

This one sort of offended me. I met my boyfriend in a nasty, skanky punk bar that was also a venerable Austin institution--The Black Cat, which is now all burned down due to an ATM accident. But MSN doesn't rule out all bars.

It’s all fine and good to ask a hottie for their phone number at a watering hole that has a nice jukebox, some top-shelf liquor, and relatively clean floors.

In my experience, the places with top-shelf liquor and clean floors often don't have nice jukeboxes. Exception: Casino El Camino. If what passes for a non-skanky bar is a cruise-y place with expensive lighting and a dress code, well that's my idea of the place to meet the sort of men that are going to be a pain in the ass.

2. In the “Military History” section of a bookstore

It would have been funnier if they said "a gun shop". What if history is a big interest of yours?

3. Anywhere within close proximity of a public restroom

This is the worst advice possible. In the best places to hang out and have fun, the public restrooms are the only place where you can actually carry on a conversation.

4. In the waiting room of your shrink’s office

If you think people who see shrinks are fucked up, then what are you?

5. Via an online website named something like “I’mGoingToStalkYou.com”

That's not funny. And if they are trying to drum up business for Match.com, why the smarmy joke about online dating?

6. A funeral

Good advice, but not for the reasons they give. The problem with funerals is that the people you meet are probably blood relatives.

7. Wrigley Field

Why pick on the Cubs? Anyway, bad advice. From what I hear, Cubs fans are some of the most fanatic. If you have something like that in common with someone, you have the most important key to a successful long-term relationship--something to talk about once the hormones calm down.

8. A police station Say your cousin got busted for getting into a fight at the aforementioned skanky, nasty, gross bar. Say he calls you to bail him out. Say the girl sharing his holding cell is drop-dead gorgeous, and you want to get her number. Don’t. There’s a high probability that this woman is a criminal, and criminals don’t necessarily make the best girlfriends.

Worse, you could pick up a cop.

9. Behind a dumpster in an alley

Unless of course, you are a bona fide Single Woman. (How to tell? You keep a diary like Bridget Jones. Web logs don't count.) If so, remember all the MSN advice about the importance of low standards.

10. Work As the saying goes, “Don’t (you know what) where you (you know what).”

For those who don't know, they saying is, "Don't eat where you shit." Why they blanked out "eat", I couldn't tell you.

Nonetheless, this is good dating advice. Other gooding dating advice includes: Don't eat what you shit. Don't shit on your date. However, under the proper circumstances, eating your date is perfectly acceptable behavior.