Feminists do it better
Is there anything sexier than a man doing housework? Believe it or not, men picking up chores around the house is probably the best aphrodiasiac for women there is. That's because being overworked and tired is the number one cause of female sexual dysfunction.
The two-career family is the norm today. Add child care and household chores to a 9-to-5 job and high-energy sex gets pushed to the bottom of a long list of responsibilities. Without enough rest, the brain will vote for sleep, not sex.
Seems simple enough to me. Pick up the dishtowel, guys, and your woman might actually have enough energy when you go to bed tonight to do something other than sleep.
posted by Amanda Marcotte at
3.9.04
12 Comments:
It's a little weird at our house, because Robin works at home, so we need to have a clear delineation of "work time" and "household time" which we don't always do. That said, he's Vacuum Guy and I'm Ironing Gal; he does the washing-up more than me but I do most of the cooking ('cause he doesn't really know how to); he cleans the cat litter and hairballs; we both haul trash outside (down two flights) to the bins; he does the heavy lifting and lightbulb-changing and anything that has to do with storing things in the loft, and I do the organizing and (very) occasional dusting. I confess, though, that I don't find his housework terribly sexy, as he tends to overdo the Swiffering and such and throw out his back or other muscles and when he's in pain he can't work or do much of anything else.
9/04/2004
I do all the cooking--he does the catbox. I find the catbox to be the most loathsome chore on the planet, and he is okay with it. I have no doubt that if I suddenly had to do the catbox, they would suddenly learn the meaning of "outdoor cats". (J/K)
But yeah, we actually do about 50/50 of the dinky stuff. I cannot be trusted to put anything in its rightful place, but he's good at that. He doesn't know where the dustrag is, but I'm good at that. It's worked out surprisingly well.
9/04/2004
I don't want to re-open the recent men-as-feminists debate, but I think your post illustrates an important point that is at least tangentially relevant to it. That is, in general, accomplishing the goals of feminism will make the world better for both women and men. Whatever it's called, genuine male support for feminism is not just about an abstract belief that sexism is wrong (although that's part of it), it's also about self interest in sharing a world with fulfilled, non-oppressed peers of both sexes. While it can be uncomfortable to admit that self interest is important in an issue of principle, I think recognizing the benefits to men of feminism can help to build support, among men and women, for the movement.
9/04/2004
Fred Vincy: I agree completely. It's tempting and to a certain extent accurate to talk about male privilege, but it's also undeniable that unless the male in question is both white and rich, his sex role is likely to disadvantage him as well. I wouldn't go so far as to say, as men like Warren Farrell (sp?) do, that men have been as hurt as women by the patriarchy--not nearly so, and I think the "who's more oppressed?" game is stupid anyway--but they have been oppressed nonetheless. And in many cases our interests are the same--for instance, if companies are more generous towards men who need to take time off for families and paternity leave, then not only will men have the benefits of familial relationships, but their wives will be freer with respect to their careers as their husbands will be able to pull their weight at home.
-Linnet
9/04/2004
The discouraging thing is, from what I've seen of discussions by men of husband/wife imbalances in sexual interest, some men seem to think that a wife who is more interested in sex if he does more housework is a wife who is deliberately using sex to manipulate him into doing what she wants (and it's not fair!), rather than a woman who is just plain pooped when she's left to do nearly all the housework herself.
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9/06/2004
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