Mouse rant blog vent mouse.

Tuesday, October 26, 2004

Let's count the uses of the word "let"

If men are babies that need to be coddled and disciplined, then apparently geeky guys are even more immature and need to be handled with a firmer, more motherly hand. MSN's advice today is all about what you, as a woman dating a geeky dude, should or should not "let" him do.

(By the way, this guy does not acknowledge any geek/nerd differences, so more evidence for the jury to ponder.)

Back when I was in high school, geeks were not highly regarded as potential boyfriend material. (Being one of them I am eminently qualified to attest to this.) Comic books, thick glasses, computers and chess club just don't match the selling potential of varsity jackets and cool cars.

Cool--he went to high school in Grease.

However, it's been noted that some geeks grow up to found software conglomerates, and even those who don't tend to be more agreeable later in life than they were back in their teens.

Translation: They have money now, so they have you. How to keep him so that you can keep up your payments on your Jaguar.

Like everyone after high school, we mellow out, ditch the young-wizard glasses, and develop the social skills that seemed so sorely lacking when we were pimply youths. However, that doesn't mean that we've lost our geekhood — we just conceal it better. More importantly, since you've grown up since high school as well, that geekhood which was so unpleasant back then is kind of charming now — try it and you may be surprised.There's no longer any shame in dating a geek, and it can be well worth the effort. The only issue is that sometimes you may find it difficult to understand our peculiarities.

He seems not to understand that there are now plenty of out and proud geeky women and that geeks can now date their own pretty exclusively.

Now we get a long list of things one must "let" your boyfriend do, with only the goal of keeping him satisfied in mind.

Geek care and feeding is easier than many think, because we are generally healthiest when left to our own devices. This doesn't mean we can't do things together; but we do thrive when given a little time to do our own thing. (This conveniently frees you from having to be part of it.)

If you get time to yourself, that's a side bonus and certainly not the reason you would decline to be bored by watching your boyfriend's every activity. And can we just ban the term "care and feeding" already? What next--Dr. Spock's Guide to Your Adult Male?

For example, let me wander off to the computer section while you're browsing CDs at the store. And though I am betraying my people to share this, adhere to the strict "yes-no rule" of computer product purchases: If I come back clutching an object in a brightly colored box, let me buy it only if I didn't buy something last time we were shopping. We do tend to overextend our finances, especially on computer equipment — it changes so fast, and the stuff is just so neat — so it also might behoove you to check the price tag and confirm that I really need this item. (My interpretation of "need" at this point will be highly subjective, so ask the tough questions.) Remember that there's a good chance I only want it because it's new. Geeks are suckers for new stuff.

Fuck that. Why take on the headaches and the fights? Separate. Checking. Accounts. Anyway, if he's a software conglomerate, he can probably afford all the damn doodads he wants.

We geeks are comfortable in herds, so keeping yours content requires that he have the opportunity to associate with his own kind now and then. Conveniently, this also solves the movie problem: Our taste for multiple viewings of certain films may not appeal to you, so let us go with our friends as often as we like.

You women, whose lives revolve around the care and feeding of men, may not understand these things called "friends". Nonetheless, you should allow your boyfriend to have them. You don't see the appeal of a baby rattle, either, but you let your baby have one, don't you?

If you live together, it's also helpful to grant your geek a little space to call his own. Here we will build our model airplanes, operate our ham radio, play our games, whatever — all in gleeful privacy. After a school career of constant abuse, we are rather unsurprisingly embarrassed by our geekdom, so letting us practice it in solitude is a very considerate gesture. We'll appreciate it and you won't have to move all our miniatures off the kitchen table every time you want to eat.

Not-subtle translation--you get the kitchen to do womens-stuff. Let him have the office. The reality of this is nowadays is that geek guys are more likely to get involved in the "it's my turn on the computer" fights with their girlfriends than the "your stupid shit is everywhere" fights.

Geeks are among the sweetest and most adoring of boyfriends, and the old prejudice of greasy-haired basement dwellers has long since fallen by the wayside.

No it hasn't. But we are trying to figure out the lexicon.

We can dress ourselves and perform routine grooming tasks,

Thank god, you don't have to change a diaper.

and as geeks move into the mainstream, we are becoming more sought after by savvy women. If you don't share some of your boyfriend's more esoteric hobbies, remember that they'll almost never interfere with all that you do share — so let him enjoy them.

Get that, women? Men have these things called "friends" and "hobbies" that you may not understand, but your mommy-girlfriend duty is just to love and indulge his harmless flights of fancy.

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What a ridiculous article (his, not yours).

10/26/2004

 
Blogger mythago said...

More proof that being geeky and out of the mainstream doesn't preclude one from being a self-centered ass. "Girls, cater to ME!"

10/26/2004

 
Blogger lawrence krubner said...

I've a liberal friend who forces himself to read everything Ann Coulter writes. Seems to me like self-inflicted torture. Your reading of this beyond-idiotic column seems similar to me. Remember what Schiller said: "Against stupidity the god's themselves struggle in vain." Still, thanks. Your take-down of the fool brought me some laughs.

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