Mouse rant blog vent mouse.

Tuesday, November 23, 2004

Faking it?

From this girl, an article about whether or not it's good for women to fake orgasms. If I were writing it, it would go like this:

Q: Is it okay for women to fake orgasms?

A: No.

But I didn't write it. The nice thing about the British magazines is that they don't seem to take the pains to hide sexist assumptions like American magazines do, if badly. I don't need to parse out all the really offensive stuff, like the assumption that it's just as difficult for a man to praise your cooking as it is to give up on getting pleasure out of sex and opting instead to play porn star for him. this girl does a better job. I'm just saying that it's funny that they don't even try to hide it even a little.

Personally, if a guy expected me to lose sleep to play porn star and not get anything out of it, I would be nice about it. I would slap the lube in his hand and nicely tell him that I am not a masturbation device, though I know that's difficult to understand in a culture that tells women that they have to bust their ass to get a man, bust their ass to keep a man and never expect anything from him. But intelligent people, I assume, might occasionally take a moment to question why a woman would put so much work into a relationship when she can't even get a little love-making out of it.

What I don't get about the whole attitude, "Men don't care so why not fake it?", besides the whole part about not acknowledging that there's two people in the bed, is that it's illogical. If he really doesn't care if you come or not, then why the show? What's the point? Obviously, if you're faking it's because he cares on one level or another.

To get all deep about it, I think that a man who cares enough to buy into a fake orgasm might actually care enough to learn to coax the real thing out of a woman. If not, then he doesn't really have any business having sex with another person when there is porn everywhere for consumption. The fake orgasm might actually be about more than just another example of where women are expected to praise men lavishly for doing squat. It might be a release valve in itself, but instead of releasing sexual tension it's releasing the tension caused by the good old Madonna/whore complex.

Orgasming is embarrassing, there's no doubt about it. You got to have a sense of humor about the funny faces and goofy noises. It's rowdy; it's not what good girls do. But good girls do boost male egos, so if you are committed to being a good girl you have a conundrum. How to stay asexual and in control while also doing the horizontal equivalent of laughing at his jokes and praising him lavishly for the smallest task? Insert fake orgasm, the perfect way to be both a virgin and a whore.

Thanks, this girl, for giving me a laugh. This entire subject is just a perfect example of the lunacy that results when people are neck deep in gender role bullshit.

79 Comments:

Blogger Ted K said...

From a guy perspective, faking an orgasm is a recipe for having to fake future orgasms. Face it, part of rubbing the bacon is that it is fun when your partner climaxes. If she appears to climax from having, say, her left elbow rubbed while I talk in a Beaker voice, well, she should expect to have a chafed left elbow and ears that ring with the sounds of Beaker.

11/23/2004

 
Blogger Amanda said...

Thank you for the mental image. I shall never feel the same about the Muppet Show. Your point is very valid, all the same. And that's why I think that there's nothing wrong with being demonstrative if you like something and want to see it happen again.

11/23/2004

 
Blogger zuzu said...

I've never faked, and nobody's ever made any comments about it. Frequently, when I was younger and hadn't figured out what turns me on reliably, I wouldn't have an orgasm despite best efforts. I viewed it as something that would just happen or not, not as a failure of performance.

I also think it's dangerous to fake because of the Beaker problem (and thank you too for that mental image; now I'll be thinking dirty thoughts about Dr. Bunsen Honeydew as well).

11/23/2004

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh, ick, not only do three out of their five people, say, yes, fake it, but one says that she doesn't believe anyone doesn't fake, because "I simply don't believe them. It is not possible to have earth-shattering sex every time." Huh? I don't get it. Does she think orgasm is hugely difficult for most women to achieve? (Only if you insist on confining yourself to sexual intercourse alone.) Or does she think that men can't accept even a single time, ever, when a woman fails to come?

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I'm thinking the latter. That or, like a lot of women, she's accepted that her partner isn't going to bother to try and get her to come, so why bother pointing it out to him?

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