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Thursday, December 02, 2004

It was hard to do....

....but I picked my favorite part of this appalling report about abstinence-only education's failures that I got to read today. (I shouldn't be appalled. I grew up around this.)

One curriculum that describes fetuses as "babies" describes the blastocyst, technically a ball of 107 to 256 cells at the beginning of uterine implantation, 70 as "snuggling" into the uterus:

"After conception, the tiny baby moves down the fallopian tube toward the mother's uterus. About the sixth to tenth day after conception, when the baby is no bigger than this dot (.), baby snuggles into the soft nest in the lining of the mother's uterus.71"

Aw. I picked up my living breathing kitty to snuggle after reading that heart-warming tale, and he kicked until I let him go and threw his ball for him. He'll want to snuggle later, particularly considering that it's cold and I will be buried under soft, warm, dry blankets. His fuzzy body will fluff up and he's be all dry and warm and purring as he snuggles in. Of course, he may decide to sleep in the armchair, but likely he will find me in bed for the warm dry fuzzy snuggliness of it all.

What he won't do is attempt to crawl into my uterus to snuggle into my uterine lining.

Beats me why not. After reading that, I wanted a uterine lining to snuggle into. It sounds all warm and soft and probably even feathery. It sounds like heaven. Beats me why it's expelled monthly in a rush of blood that is rather a pain to keep track of.

Blastocysts are the only creatures smart enough to realize the snuggly potential of the uterine lining. Smarter than creatures like my cats with brains, however small. In all 256 cells is all the knowledge of the world. Here I was thinking it was just a chemical reaction that doesn't even work much of the time, causing a woman to have a period not even knowing that she conceived. Those snuggly blastocysts sure do know how to find the best place in the world to sleep.

Actually, I hope the cat doesn't find out about my fur and feather-lined uterus. That would just be weird.

109 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I tend to think of implantation as being more like that scene in Alien...

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

On a more serious note, this also puts all of the motive and initiative in the "baby", and none in the mother; ie. the mother is nothing but a passive receptacle for an active agent that was created by a man. Nice huh.

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

I had a hard time understanding why one said, "remaining a virgin all but eliminates the possibility of becoming pregnant." Then I remembered that they had to include Mary in their calculations so they couldn't claim abstinence was a perfect method either.
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Anonymous Anonymous said...

Actually, being a virgin does not prevent you from becoming pregnant as a result of rape. Neither does abstinence in general - a fact I want to fling in the face of all those "abstinence is 100% effective" gomers.

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