Next on your cable morning news program....

Talking head #1: My, that Hurricane Ivan is something else.

Talking head #2: Yeah! I sure wouldn't want my house knocked down by a hurricane.

Talking head #3: And I imagine that the traffic jams to get out of the city are very frustrating.

Talking head #1: The South has been evacuated and there's not much else that can be done.

Talking head #3: Isn't there an election going on, by the way? Wouldn't this be a good time to do something like lay out the different candidates' platforms so voters can make an informed decision?

Tallking head #2: No way! If we did that, then people might know that George W. Bush's platform contrasts wildly with their own political beliefs. He could lose! That wouldn't be fair if he lost.

Talking head #3: My bad. Goodness, the waves from Hurricane Ivan are high.