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Friday, December 03, 2004

How to Be Romantic: A Primer for Spudboys

I couldn't think of a better title for this "How to Knock Her Socks Off" MSN advice column aimed at men. I can just imagine a spudboy in a Devo video reading a book with similiar advice in it. Expect to see all these tips on future epsiodes of "Newlyweds".

1. Read to her
A female's brain is an important erogenous zone, so spend some time turning it on by reading to her. It may seem mundane, but a book club for two is intimate and sweet, especially if you find a novel she loves.

This tip isn't so much for seduction, but apparently it's a great way to save your ass if you're afraid that she might have you killed after she's done with you.

2. Make breakfast in bed
Romance is about lying about and eating grapes, not bounding out of bed each day on a tear to be productive. So get some grapes, some mimosas, a couple croissants and make a plan to spill on the sheets. Listen to talk radio and cuddle until the early afternoon.

If you have to bribe her into bed with food, she's just not that into you. (Talk radio? Are you serious? How the hell is that more romantic than music?)

3. Plan a surprise trip to a nearby destination
Women loved to be whisked away on a romantic overnight, even if it's to the next town. Book a hotel room, grab some wine, and pick out a collection of brochures for local tourist-traps. You'll giggle and roll your eyes and have a ball.

If you do this the same weekend that her parents are due to visit, she'll be onto your little game, though.

4. Send her a handwritten note
We're so used to getting junk and bills in our mailboxes these days that a real letter is a significant pleasure. Skip the short e-mails and pretend you're a 19th century aristocrat with time on his hands. Write an ode to her beauty or describe a fond memory.

Drop it in the mail and begin flinching with embarrassment. How stupid is it to write bad poetry and mail it in this day and age? Don't you know what a telephone is? Email? How nerdy is she going to think you are?

5. Design a sexy scavenger hunt
Bring some adventure into her life with a creative scavenger hunt that sends her all over the house, neighborhood, or town. If you want to really impress, make each clue a cheesy poem. The destination for your scavenger hunt? Perhaps a fancy dinner or a yummy picnic.

Women like to work for every meal. If you just cook for her and let her relax for once, she'll feel all empty inside. So make her work for it! She's not cooking this time, so give her something like a wild goose chase to occupy her time. Surely she has nothing better to do.

6. Make her life easier
Sometimes the most appreciated romantic gesture in the world is something as simple as doing the laundry or picking up some much needed groceries. If your girlfriend is having a crazy week at work, she will swoon when you run a vacuum cleaner for her.

Make sure to pout if she doesn't act like you are a prince amongst men for picking up a dustrag once in awhile.

7. Set it to music
The "mixed tape" idea might remind her of middle school, but if you do a good job she'll love it.

They have these things called "computers" now (you might be reading this on one!) that have these things called "c.d. burners" in them, which might be a better idea. Giving a tape to someone who hasn't owned a tape player in years is bad form. However, I have to admit that I like the mixed disc move. It's a true classic.

8. Open a spa just for her
Pamper your lady with a skillful massage and foot rub or brush her hair with a soft comb. Have a bubble bath ready for her and some freshly washed towels. All the day's stress will wash down the drain in no time.

Afterwards, make sure to say, "You can't claim you have a headache now, can you?"

I want to meet the man that will draw a bath for you and then brush your hair. So I can take his picture for evidence.

9. Go public with your love
No, we're not talking about a football game jumbo-tron declaration, but showing up at her workplace with flowers or posting a series of sweet signs on the route of her morning run would surely surprise and impress her.

Ah, the stalker move. Remember, ignoring her protests to her co-workers, "I barely know this guy!" is the romantic thing to do.

42 Comments:

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Computer News
Yahoo Boasts Size of Its Search Engine Index



Trying not to include any phallic analogies, Yahoo this week announced that its overall search engine index is much larger than Google’s and is the most in depth index of ‘web objects’ on the search market. On the Yahoo Search Blog, Yahoo disclosed that its index now includes 19.2 billion web documents, 1.6 billion images and more than 50 million audio and video files - over 20 billion items.

Yahoo is usually shy about disclosing the size of its search index, but the Yahoo Search Blog is celebrating its first year anniversary and Tim Mayer thought that somewhat of a retrospect was in order - since Yahoo has grown into its own as a search engine powerhouse over the past 365 days.

From the YSearchBlog : While we typically don’t disclose size (since we’ve always said that size is only one dimension of the quality of a search engine), for those who are curious this update includes just over 19.2 billion web documents, 1.6 billion images, and over 50 million audio and video files.

Note that as with all index updates we are still tuning things so you’ll continue to see some fluctuation in ranking over the next few weeks.

Greg Sterling of the Kelsey Group, however, makes the distinction of quality over quantity What I, Joseph User, care about is accuracy, quality and relevance. The available index does matter in terms of bringing me a sufficient quantity of results. (And if I’m looking for something really obscure, having that thing in the index is obviously important, which may go to size.).

But there’s a major case of diminishing returns—there’s already way too much information online for people to assimilate. Throwing more volume at me does nothing but make my eyes glaze over. What I want is enough relevant results.”

Index schmindex, the moral of the story is what Yahoo has accomplished over the past year and what the next 12 months will bring with not only Yahoo Search, but the Yahoo Publishers Network, Yahoo LinkSpots, Yahoo Pay Per Call, and Site Explorer. What has Yahoo accomplished over the past year? Well, here’s Tim’s rundown :
Copyright © - 2005 Entireweb

=============================================
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10/14/2005

 
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Games & PC Games News - Oct. 16, 2005


Is the PC game market? (Dallas Morning News)
The last few years have not been all fun and games for computer game fans, but that might be changing. As attention has shifted to sophisticated video game consoles such as the Xbox and PlayStation 2, PC gamers have watched their preferred platform wither.

Xbox 360's New Media Play Finding Fans (eWeek)
Consumers were impressed by the expanded multimedia features of Microsoft's upcoming Xbox 360 at the Digital Life conference, while gamers were excited to begin using the devices to access other types of services.

NewTek Releases Fifth Free Feature Update for LightWave 3D (Digital WebCast)
NewTek, Inc., manufacturer of industry-leading 3D animation and video products, today announced the release of the fifth free update and the 64-bit port for Emmy award-winning LightWave 3D . Version 8.5 offers hardware support of OpenGL 2.0, the new Multishift tool with editable history, Photoshop -style texture blending modes, improved dynamics, and easier integration of third-party file formats.

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Games & PC Games News by www.infopage.cc - Oct. 18, 2005

Beta testers needed for GPS enabled Golf application for Windows Mobile (MS Mobiles)
October 17, 2005 [General] There are many applications for Windows Mobile about game of golf. Not all of them are GPS enabled though. Here comes yet another application about golf, in versions both for Pocket PC and MS Smartphone. (Read More ...)

GameTap download service launches in US (gamesindustry.biz)
Turner Broadcasting System has officially launched GameTap, a new gaming download service which gives subscribers access to more than 300 arcade, console and PC games. (Read More ...)

Today's News about Games & PC Games

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So, what do you need to get started with essential oils and natural remedies?

Without a doubt, Lavender is one of the most useful and desirable oils. Not only does it work wonders on cuts, bruises and burns, it also aids sleep and helps with relaxation.

The Tea Tree and Eucalyptus oils are useful for treating a variety of respiratory ailments. These are excellent for the treatment of colds and coughs. They can be massaged into the chest or burned in an oil burner to help clear the airways and prevent congestion. Tea Tree oil is a natural antiseptic and can be dabbed on cuts, bites and stings. It is often used to treat spots and pimples and when diluted with water, acts as a mouth gargle (keep in-mind it should never be swallowed).

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The herbs, Thyme and Rosemary can be grown in pots and used when needed. To create essential oils from herbs, stew some large amounts in pure water, collect the steam and cool it. The oil will rise to the top of the drained water and can be collected with an eyedropper. Alternatively, a "flower still" can be purchased to make the job easier. Thyme and Rosemary are both antiseptics and can be used in skin care preparations. They are also delicious when used in cooking.

Lemon oil and fresh lemons will purify water and, when mixed with honey, are effective remedies for colds and flu. Lemon and white vinegar are highly efficient cleaning agents that can be used for domestic cleaning tasks without damaging the environment. Use white vinegar as a natural disinfectant or mix it with water to clean windows and wooden floors. It is also handy to keep a bottle of white vinegar in your car if you swim in the ocean. It will bring instant relief from jellyfish stings.

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Garlic also helps to promote a healthy immune system when the weather turns cold and viruses begin to circulate. In fact, most of the oils and herbs listed above are effective in helping to prevent many common winter illnesses.

Whether you are looking for remedies or nature friendly products to use around the house, the oils and herbs suggested above should help get you started. You will be ready to make some healthy changes in your way of life!

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12/05/2009

 

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