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Wednesday, December 22, 2004

The real reasons people say "Happy Holidays"

Greg at The Talent Show has a wonderful post on the stupidity behind the efforts to get people to quit saying "Happy Holidays", on the theory that Christmas is no mere holiday, but in fact a day when we honor the efforts of the wingnuts to turn us into a theocracy.

Okay, this whole "Happy Holidays" jihad is confusing me. As far as I can remember, people have been saying "HH" for many, many years now. Every time I've heard it, regardless of who's speaking it, I've always interpreted it as an act of kindness that's meant to imply "I know we may have different beliefs, but I hope your celebration is a happy one." Of course, with New Years in the mix, it's more than a pleasant inter-faith greeting. "Happy Holidays" is a nice, sincere expression of the whole season.

And there's probably something to that. Certainly, the stores who put up "Happy Holidays" signs and other businesses like TV stations are deliberately trying to avoid alienating people. But I think that there's two much simpler reasons that people say "Happy Holidays" now more than "Merry Christmas".

1) Christmas is only one day a year, but we keep up the holiday spirit for a month + 1 week. The holidays is the season between Thanksgiving and New Year's Day. While it insults our American sensibilities to have extended periods of the year where people party too much, eat too much, and are generally cheerful like everyone else likes to do it, it's still a fact. They don't have articles about how to keep off the pounds during the holidays in women's magazines to address overeating on one day out of the year. It's the onslaught of parties and dinners that pack on the pounds. You know, over the course of weeks.

The holidays aren't just about baby Jesus. For instance, New Year's Eve is about trying to stand next to the person you're crushing on at midnight in order to kiss him/her first, hopefully pissing off anyone else who wanted to kiss that person at midnight. And December 26th is about taking back all those shitty gifts that your well-meaning but clueless relatives gave you and getting something you really like. It's also about buying a bunch of stuff on sale.

2) Frankly, "Merry Christmas" is an archaic phrase that just doesn't roll off the tongue. C'mon! When do you heard the word "merry" outside of the LOTR trilogy? And even those movies came out around Christmas, so as not to cause massive cognitive dissonance when that word came out of the actors' mouths.

Meanwhile, "Happy Holidays" sounds just right to people. "Happy" is a common enough word. Hell, "happiness" is right there in our Declaration of Independence, meaning that people are probably just being patriotic when they ask you to be happy. And "holidays", which means "days off of work" to Americans, are a naturally happy time. Frankly, being against "Happy Holidays" is being against everything dear to America. True patriots say "Happy Holidays!"

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Blogger Elayne said...

They don't even say "Merry Christmas" in England any more, they say "Happy Christmas."

12/22/2004

 
Blogger La Lubu said...

Happy Holidays to you!!

Anyway, since the wingnuttery crowd is so bent on cramming Christmas down the throats of non-Christians, I think those of us who aren't fundamentalist twerps should seek out fulminating fundies to wish them a hearty Eid al-Fitr, Diwali, Samhain, etc. on those times of the year. They won't get the point, but it'll be fun just to see the looks on their faces!

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Blogger Kyria said...

About five years ago I endured a pre-midnight mass party at the inlaws' where one fellow was holding forth, at length, in an attempt to make the priest agree that "Merry Christmas" was really better because it was so much more personal.Hell, I thought, they should make it "Merry Christmas, Kyria" for everyone, if that's the point. But it's not. They just want their bigotry sanctioned.

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

I actually like the conservative anti-Happy Holidays crusade. As much as conservatives try to portray it as a simple call to common sense from the ravages of liberal oversensitivity, anyone not already persuaded by conservatives will see that it's just the opposite -- conservative oversensitivity trying to crush, ordinary, inoffensive, corporate/liberal common sense.

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Blogger zuzu said...

I figure if anyone gives me shit for saying Happy Holidays, I'll just tell 'em "Merry Fucking Christmas."

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

There's been moral panic all over the UK about how the PC "brigade" have banned putting "Merry Christmas" in Christmas cards. Because that's so happened...

I figure the best way to annoy wingnuts online is to call it "Xmas"; there's no Christ in that!

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