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Thursday, December 16, 2004

What are these "hobbies" you speak of?

For fuck's sake, how much more offensively trite can you get, New York Observer? Today they have a "cute" article about how men like to partake of the video games and women, as usual, enjoying nagging and bitching. Aw, look at the cute miserable people who don't have anything in common but stay together because they think that's just how it is with men and women!

On Nov. 9, to the delight of men across New York, the sequel to Halo, the popular Xbox video game, wherein players battle in lush violence to save the universe from an evil alien race called the Covenant arrived in stores. And for those men’s wives and girlfriends, it was a day of infamy, indeed... It’s not that Ms. Deppe hasn’t given Halo a fighting chance. "I played the first one," she said. "There are weird aliens and they wave their arms above their head when you shoot them and then they run around. It just doesn’t make sense. There’s no story, there’s no plot, there’s no background—it’s just ‘save your troop from alien invaders.’ I don’t understand how someone could sit there for eight straight hours and play a video game."

Women! How could they possibly understand something like "science fiction" when they don't sell it at Macy's? Men! What did these feeble-minded child-brained creatures in adult bodies do before video games? Tinker Toys?

Mr. Koehl’s obsession has necessitated the purchase of a second TV for the household. "It’s sick. There shouldn’t be that much TV in such a small space," Ms. Griffin said. But "it’s annoying when he’s hogging the television. For Brandon, it’s winding-down action before bed—like a bedtime story. And then it’s usually me screaming at him, ‘Turn it off and come to bed!’"

But once he comes, she turns back into nice mommy and tucks him in with his teddy bear.

Of course, grown women are not immune to the idea of "fun", since they remember having it when they were children so long ago.

It’s not that all women reflexively hate video games, of course; many fondly remember Super Mario Brothers and Ms. Pac-Man, or the thrill of clobbering their brother at Tecmo Bowl. But it’s inescapable that men just like to play with gadgets more; it’s something about the thumbs.

Since we know that men have thumbs and women don't, of course. Or is it that we can't manipulate a video game controller because we all have expensive manicures? I can't remember.

Part of what keeps these guys playing the game to the point of nausea is simply that it’s hard; it actually requires skill, a weird kind of unlearnable skill. (Many a male noted sympathetically that girls simply don’t have the studied hand-eye coordination that they do.)

When it comes to this alien concept "fun", suddenly women are all thumbs. But don't forget, when it comes to cooking dinner, women indeed have better hand-eye coordination, since it developed in the caveman days when men were out killing big animals and women were at home doing the cavewoman version of needlework.

Mr. Clute’s girlfriend lives in California, and he said he would never ditch her for Halo. On the other hand, "maybe she’d just play the video games with me," he said. "But then she’d want to have sex or something, and that would get in the way." He laughed at himself.

That's the laugh of the cuckold, my friends. An empty, sexless laugh.

Kidding, kidding. My god, do they think that women just don't have hobbies? I am just really jealous of all these women, because my boyfriend is addicted to PC games, which means that we are pretty much in an endless, if quiet and polite, battle for computer time.

339 Comments:

Blogger Roxanne said...

43% of video game players are female. Two or three of them are Black.

More demos here: http://www.games-advertising.com/demographics.html

12/16/2004

 
Blogger Roxanne said...

43% of video game players are female. Two or three of them are Black.

More demos here: http://www.games-advertising.com/demographics.html

12/16/2004

 
Blogger james d said...

Roxanne, what you're forgetting is that female gamers tend to be more scary than sexy...and since they aren't sexy, they aren't actually women.

12/16/2004

 
Blogger zuzu said...

The Observer has pretentions of coolness and hipness; it's also the paper where Candace Bushnell had her "Sex and the City" column. There is a certain set of Manhattanites who buy into this crap; it often has to do with money, as well. I never really ran with that crowd, but I know people who do, and it's very retrograde.

12/16/2004

 
Blogger Eric V said...

What we're seeing here is another incarnation of what I would call the "wife(or steady girlfriend/partner whatever)-martyr" paradigm. With this meme , society gets respectable women to accept an inferior socio-economic status by saying essentially "Wife = subordinate = victim = martyr = morally superior to the brainless,lust driven , hairy brute she had to marry for the good of the family/tribe/nation". But of course to maintain your status as a respectable martyr/wife your behaviour must be severely constrained. You must be openly obedient and deferential to your husband even if in secret you despise him utterly. You lie back , spread your legs , and think of England. And you absolutely should not have any interests or hobbies that could resemble a man's. After all that would be degrading!

12/16/2004

 
Blogger Amanda said...

James*, I may not play as many games as I used to, but I used to wield the controller like a pro. And I think I'm sexy as hell. Maybe not to anyone else. But in my own mind, yes, I'm a goddess.



*By the way, I know you were joking. I just couldn't resist.

12/16/2004

 
Blogger zuzu said...

Hell, even if a woman isn't into gaming (some of us aren't) or into sports (ditto), it's the height of dependency to expect your man to entertain you.

Mind you, if he's spending hours per day gaming instead of interacting with actual human beings, that could be a big problem.

12/16/2004

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Part of what keeps these guys playing the game to the point of nausea is simply that it’s hard; it actually requires skill, a weird kind of unlearnable skill. (Many a male noted sympathetically that girls simply don’t have the studied hand-eye coordination that they do.) This is hilarious. If it's unlearnable then it's not a skill. Skills Are learned. Otherwise it's a talent. And I love the second sentence: Women don't have the "studied" hand-eye coordination that comes from playing Halo 8 hours a day. Because they don't play Halo eight hours a day, dumbass. If they did, they'd have "studied hand-eye" coordination as well.

By the way, your blog rocks.

Adrien

12/16/2004

 
Blogger james d said...

I think you're sexy too, weird ex-gamer chick or otherwise. That's why I offered to attend your singles pillow-fight party. Just to see you topless.

I never really understood the allure of Halo, either. Does that make me a woman or a martyr? I'm awful confused.

12/17/2004

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

At the moment I don't play video games (although I was hooked on Counter-Strike, to the tune of maybe 4 hours of sleep/night, for almost a year) but my boyfriend does. He winds down doing that, I wind down reading while his computer makes strange noises. On the other hand, I'm thinking that to be a competent aerobatic pilot I have to have decent hand-eye coordination. Maybe Halo isn't the only thing that can break women out of the mold of nagging, boring housewives.

Sigh.

"Well-behaved women seldom make history." I am very bad at being well-behaved. How about you?

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12/17/2004

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What a bunch of crap. I play way more than my husband does, even exceeding the 8-hour extreme that this article is talking about. When Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic came out, I was easily putting in 10 hours a day and only stopped to sleep, eat a sandwich and use the loo.

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11/18/2005

 
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11/19/2005

 
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Bye
Steward

11/19/2005

 
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Take care
Steward.

11/19/2005

 
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11/19/2005

 
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11/19/2005

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

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11/19/2005

 
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11/19/2005

 

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