You know it went down like this

I can picture it now. You know at some point at a Halliburton board meeting someone said, "It's just a shame that energy companies don't have their own goddamn armies to just take what's ours from slimy bastards like Saddam Hussein."

And everyone's heads swiveled around to Dick Cheney, who looked up with gravitas and grumbled under his breath, "That would be a waste of money. I think we can get the government to invade Iraq for us and stabilize it while giving us money in the meantime to keep us solvent."

A gasp likely arose from the table and some young executive said, "No, it's not possible!"

After he was beheaded, Cheney said, "Of course it's possible. After all, Bush promised me his firstborn so very long ago....."

Well, that's how I imagine it anyway.