Mouse rant blog vent mouse.

Thursday, February 10, 2005

The Valentine's Day post

Media Girl is calling out for feminist analysis of Valentine's Day, which I think is a great idea. And since we here at Mouse Words are obsessed with how dating and romance function to reinforce stifling and unimaginative gender roles in American society, we figure we might as well throw all one of our collective hats into the ring.

That being said, I definitely celebrate Valentine's Day, because any excuse to act silly and swap presents is a good one. I wish it would just stay that way. If it were just that, I don't think it would cause people so much angst. Instead, it's a time when the ever-present Romance Monster really pulls out its fangs and starts ripping into people's soft, human flesh. And make no mistake, in America at least, Romance is a monster with a single-minded desire to get people to conform. Even extremely bright, independent-minded people fall victim to pangs of guilt and weirdness on Valentine's Day--does he really love me if he doesn't get flowers? Does he love me enough if he doesn't skip the mortgage payment to buy me a diamond tennis bracelet?

The best way to resist is to take this as open season for mockery. I mean, aren't those diamond commercials on TV just begging for MST3K-style commentary? "A diamond is forever or until she finds out about your other family." I am particularly fond of the commercials on the radio for teddy bears, the whole kick being that it's a present that is different in that it's not flowers, but you still don't have to exert any effort to educate yourself on your lover's taste.

A stroll through a store at this time of year can be seen as chastisement for single people or those of us who could barely hide our disdain for dumping $30 on a bunch of cheap chocolates, or it could be a time to enjoy the weird pleasures and insecurities of what appears to be the majority of Americans that are out on display for your pleasure. My boyfriend and I happened to be in Target this past weekend, looking to buy a present for a friend's new baby. On our way to the register, we passed the Valentine's display of boxer shorts, right on the edge of the men's section for maximum visibility and also so female customers do not feel the need to linger. Novelty boxer shorts perplex me. Are they supposed to be sexy? Funny? Do many men enjoy it when a woman laughs as they pull their pants down? Are there legions of men who really enjoy having little cupids and hearts decorating their asses?

As I pondered the novelty boxer shorts, my boyfriend ran over to the silk novelty boxer shorts section and started petting a pair like it was cat. He looked over to me and said, "I have no idea how anyone can walk in these without getting a woody." I suggested maybe that was the idea, getting all worked up on Valentine's Day, making it sort of a relic in these post-Viagra days.

Balloon bouquets might be my absolute favorite of gifts I would never want. Well, maybe second to huge teddy bears. Or statues that look like they want a hug. Flowers seem like a waste of money to me, but at least they are attractive. But balloon bouquets cost the same and are appalling and corny. I suppose the idea behind them is that the sender wants to be romantic but also wants to convey the message that he/she may be in love, but that doesn't mean they aren't a goofy, humorous sort. Which would be okay if ever there was a balloon bouquet that was funny, but there's just not. It's like the Hawaiian shirt of romantic gifts--the wearer of the Hawaiian shirt thinks he's a devil-may-care sort, but the rest of us are thinking, "Dork."

Edited to add: My apologies to anyone who thought they were going to get a thoughtful analysis of Valentine's Day instead of jokes about balloon bouquets and the word "woody".

635 Comments:

Blogger Hugo said...

Love it.

I enjoy V-Day immensely. Then again, I come out of a background of serial monogamy. In the past 20 years, I've been single for exactly two Valentine's Days (1987 and 1998). Lots of dinners, lots of flowers, lots of cards and so forth. All worth it, of course - but the pressure to spend money has been, at times, tiresome.

2/10/2005

 
Blogger Miss Education said...

Did your boyfriend actually use the word "woody?"

I'm giving the pseudo-boyfriend a comb for V-day. I promised.

2/10/2005

 
Blogger Amanda said...

Yes, he did say "woody", because a less goofy slang word for erection would have probably not caused me to laugh out loud in the men's underwear section of Target.

2/10/2005

 
Blogger Kyso K. said...

(Sorry if this double-posts)

Do you guys have Sweetest Day down in Texas? My mom told me it was specific to Cleveland, but that was over a decade ago and I think it's gained a little more popularity as a Hallmark holiday since then. Or she could have been making that up.

It's like Valentine's Lite and for most of my childhood I was under the impression is was a staged day to let the sidewalk-stand flower vendors get rid of the last of the flowers before winter arrived. That made tons more sense to me than Valentines day. I was always confused about how people got roses in February: I figured the roses were special since you'd have to spend alot of money on them in the winter, as opposed to late summer when they'd obviously be cheaper, since they were growing then.

A few years after that, the Cleveland zoo made thier rainforest and I was introduced to the concept of a greenhouse, and then a few more years after that, I hit junior high and began learning about perverse joy some girls have in getting a special day earmarked for bragging about how much time/money/embarassment some boy spent in fulfilling his obligation to make them feel special. I never asked them if the gesture would have been appreaciated as much on any other day of the year, or if the boy would have done anything at all if he wasn't obligated to. Some people grew out of it, some didn't.

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Blogger ScottM said...

This is the first Valentines Day I'll be celebrating with my girlfriend. We've been going out for enough time that I know her hobbies and such... but I'll still probably fall into the traditional pattern. Largely because it seems the gift should be "romantic", rather than appropriate, practical, etc. [Though I did just think of a game that'd be fun to get her-- not at all romantic, but something fun to do together or in a group.]

I wish I had something pithy. I know I'm conforming, but I'll enjoy gift giving within those criteria this year. If encouraged, I'll break the 'habit' of romantic only gifts in the future.

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Blogger Amanda said...

No, we don't have Sweetest Day here, and thank god. Texas teenagers already are up to their necks in oppressive dating rituals that seemed designed solely to make those without dates feel like absolute shit. In West Texas, Homecoming is the big one. The object is to be the girl whose boyfriend dumps the most money on your Homecoming 'mum, which started out as a cute tradition where girls wore a chrysathemum with a few ribbons dangling pinned on their shirt to the game, but has now blown into a championship of which girl has the biggest fucking decoration imaginable. I didn't really have much desire to be weighed down with ribbons and flowers and whatnot, so the biggest I ever had merely went down to my knee and covered half my chest. Some girls had them so big that mere pins wouldn't hold them up, but they had to be tied around the back, and the ribbons went down to the ground. One girlfriend of mine had one that had five flowers on it surrounding a teddy bear that dragged on the ground. I don't know how widespread the tradition is, but it's loony.

It looked a lot like this one here: http://www.mumsandgarters.com/Image3.jpg

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Blogger Kyso K. said...

Wow. That's damn impressive. My hometown is more of a noveau-riche soccer-mom haven, but we had the same opportunities to exert massive amounts of pressure on the scorned and dateless. Nothing we did ever quite reached that level, though, public display-wise. I am impressed by the mindset of a girl who would be willing to make such an ass of herself in such an obviously uncomfortable manner in order to make her point.

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Blogger Sapphire7 said...

The corsage with ribbons is one of the looniest things I've heard of. I always told my date what I wanted: pink tea roses on a wrist corsage. That way I wouldn't ruin my dress pinning it on. The whole pinning part is awkward.

Back to VD. I LOVE valentines day. I don't like the hype, though. It does seem silly after being together for 16 1/2 years. We usually go out to dinner the weekend before or after to avoid the crowds. Sometimes we put the kids to bed early and have a late romantic dinner at home. I love flowers but it's a complete rip off during VD. It's more romantic when you get them "just because".

Sweetest Day has been a Hallmark holiday in Chicago since the mid-late 80's. He and I have always ignored it.

I like those satin boxers. I have bought them for hubby at times. He has a real clingy pair that are very sexy. Woody is much funnier.

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